For those that need introductions…

Hi! I don’t know what brings you to my corner of the internet but WELCOME! Don’t know why you’re here but glad you found me!
So HELLO! I’m Jo and I run this racket. If any of you have seen the youtube videos, this is me now lol. I’m sorry I fell off the world for a number of years, my youngest was non-verbal autistic so I took time to work with her on that, then things just kept happening. I’d have a serious consideration for a post, then life would knock me back on my ass as if to tell me I had no business standing up and talking with any kind of authority or conviction. So if I’m a little unsteady on my baby deer legs forgive me and give me a minute, I’m back and committed to spreading hope, help, love and healing.
By way of introductions, I am a new me anyway. If you knew and liked the old me then hold on the new me is even better, with stronger coping strategies and a healing soul. Its been a rough few years, but I’m still here
So what are the plans for this site? Well it largely depends on if I find my people again, or maybe some new ones, who want to come along on this journey and realize we are not alone in what we are going through. What are we going through? Well, lets start the laundry list, play along won’t you?

• Bipolar Disorder- You didn’t think we’d be leaving that old bitch in the tail lights in this lifetime did you? If you did there’s a bridge I want to sell you LOL. We are safe, med controlled, still have my manic moments and boy howdy do I get the lows. So low sometimes I feel like I’m drowning but the water’s surface is RIGHT THERE but I can’t get to it. I’ve done the work in therapy and continue to try, but I’m nowhere near normal, and as we discussed in the old blog, I’m happy not to be. I’ll always be weird, at this point I’m not sure I’d change it but it would really be awesome if I could have an on off switch, or a pause button? Those would be helpful.
• Fibromyalgia- Guys, she’s been with me since the early 2000’s! I couldn’t do this without her at this point. I’m a lot more in control with my meds and diet and I actually do get a decent amount of physical activity in. I’ve trained myself to get better sleep and it works about 75% of the time, which as you know, helps me by refilling my spoons so I might be able to get more done with the time and attention I can devote to my pursuits. I still hurt more often than not. I still smile even when I don’t feel like it, and I still listen to my body and most times even when I hurt I can compartmentalize and manage the hurt. I follow the latest treatments and breakthroughs but as we all know, there’s no cure so managing is the best we can do, some days are better than others.
• CKD – Look who decided to join the party!!! The year was 2019, He caught my eye across the crowded dance floor and I couldn’t look away *heart eyes* OK, so I’m romanticizing it a bit. What actually happened was I was at the doctor for regular blood work and to change antidepressants to one that didn’t make me put on weight, since putting on too much weight makes fibro pain even worse, and the doctor breezes in saying ‘So they told you about the CKD right?’ *blinks and one eye twitches* Who told me what now? I’m sorry, YOU are the doctor, who would have told me and when would I have been told? Needless to say I’d had it for the last few blood draws (all under her referral and reporting back to her for the findings) and since learning and researching largely on my own, I’ve brought my numbers up slightly, I’m never without my water bottle and I am confident that while its not something that will go away, I am controlling it with diet and exercise.
• Anxiety/OCD – These guys aren’t new, but they were much more manageable before. Its fine most of the time, but they trap me in my head frequently now that I’ve sworn off the bad stuff. It sounds like I’m going backwards, and valid, however the meds I took before numbed me to the point that I just checked out. I don’t want to miss whole chunks of my life anymore so I’m in a bit more pain but I’m also HERE and a lot more conscious of whats going on around me.
  

Those are the illnesses I’m still suffering with, a few more emergencies that have weaseled their way into my fragile grip on my peace. I was hit by a car as a pedestrian, that was some fun stuff. My uterus decided it was not happy in its comfy home so it gave me all manner of trouble until I was able to get it removed. I have battled the same demons I’ve already mentioned until I was so beaten down and broken that my heart decided it was done too and it made me sick to where I couldn’t eat for nearly a year without throwing up. After a year of doctors and hospitals and puking so much I was ready to wave the white flag in defeat, my heart stopped beating. Thank goodness my partner knows CPR and had just gotten home from work and heard me collapse. I was dead. Three doctors told my partner I wasn’t waking up. Apparently they underestimated my will to be a thorn in the side of society as a whole because I woke up. And I’ve been getting better ever since.
I think this is a good start! I’m back now. Lets catch up, tell me how you’ve been, I’m going to get more into the kids and the struggles I’ve had in other areas of my life, this was just to get back out and to say hi to all those who might be struggling right now. I see you. You’re not alone. We’ll get through this, lets do it together, it’ll be more fun this way lol.