A few words about spoons…

No, not the ones you use to shovel food into your mouth, the ones you use to shovel energy in you to live. This might reach ONE person it needs to when they need to hear it and its literally all I hope, because I have to tell myself this frequently, and frankly I don’t believe me, I know I’m a liar lol.
I’ve heard of it in the fibro context, but it applies to all manner of neurodivergancy.

You only have a set number of spoons on any given day. Once they are gone they’re gone, but your body is like an evil little tyrant, always changing the price on things, so one morning getting out of bed will be a spoon, but because of inflation and the fact that you went out amongst the normal folk yesterday, getting out of bed today costs you three. WoW you say, three whole spoons? Oh well I’ll make it a light day and fold a basket of laundry, empty the dishwasher maybe while I’m up. WHOA THERE COWBOY! Just how do you think you’re going to have enough spoons for all that? You will have to go up and down the stairs at least twice, its a spoon each time. We’re up to five and you are still at 8 am. I’ll veg and watch the Today Show. Oh look its that guy you like talking about that thing you’re excited about, that will be one spoon please just for having to pay attention and not let your intrusive thoughts in. In fact, I think after that we’ll have some intrusive thoughts just so you have to use up more spoons to not let them get to you. Ope, gotta do your meds, that’s another spoon.
https://tenor.com/bieI7.gif
We’re at eight and you haven’t eaten yet. Oh, should probably do that, I’ll just do something easy like chicken strips, maybe waffles. Well, pretty sure making anything will cost at least one spoon and another for the clean up. It’s up to ten and that’s even me being kind because usually eating takes one spoon. what are we going to do with the last two? Shower and meds, that leaves none for switching the laundry over or another meal or snack. What about all the thoughts we’re supposed to think?
You see? Total asshole. Inconsistent. Unreliable. Inconsiderate. Just general all around dick.
My current problem?
Things had been ok. The landlord of the spoons was being reasonable for the last few months, but I should have known the fun time wouldn’t last. He raised prices last week, right as my mixed episode hit, its almost like they timed it. You see, anyone who knows me has heard this but, when mania manifests, my brain legit just starts going like a wind up toy. I’m smacking into walls backing up tripping on things just all automated. I just start out with, I’m going to put a new belt on the vacuum, to me looking up from kneeling in front of my fridge with the front of the vent completely off soaking in the sink as I pondered if I’d ever done that to this fridge. Well, wouldn’t you know it, there I am waking up off the floor and landlord shows up with his hand out. Today he wants ALL my spoons. So I have no recourse, there’s no fighting the decision, the judgment is final no exceptions. So while I had every intention of working outside putting out grass seed and coming in to cook hamburger helper, I instead deep cleaned the kitchen and the fridge. I really hope tomorrow he gives me the full amount of spoons, but judging how bad my hip hurts today already, I’m not counting on it.
Be kind to yourselves, and each other