🥫 Building a Pantry When I Can’t Build Much Else

(aka, How Stockpiling Became My Quiet Way of Fighting Back)

Some days, my body feels like a traitor.
I can’t bend over very far, I can’t pick up anything off the floor or up high without my grabber thingy. I can’t haul laundry up the stairs. I can’t even promise I’ll be the same “me” tomorrow that I am today.

Living with chronic illness — especially things like fibromyalgia and ADHD — means my energy, my ability, my very reliability can vanish without warning.
(And nothing says “party” like waking up with zero spoons and an entire day’s worth of responsibilities, right?)

When your body plays dirty, it’s easy to start turning that anger inward.
It’s easy to start hating yourself for being “unreliable,” for needing help, for “failing” even when you’re trying so damn hard.
And that self-loathing?
It can spiral faster than you’d believe.

But here’s something I want to say — to myself and to you:
You are not unreliable.
You are surviving a body that hands you chaos every morning and expects you to make peace with it by lunchtime.

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🛒 Pantry Planning: My Quiet Rebellion

I can’t control how many spoons I’ll have tomorrow.
I can’t always cook a gourmet meal or deep-clean the house or check every box on my to-do list.

But you know what I can do?
I can plan.
I can stockpile.
I can quietly, stubbornly, prepare for the days I know will be hard — because they will come.

Even if I can’t cook today, I can make sure next week’s meals are lined up.
Even if I can’t carry groceries, I can still hunt down deals and plan freezer meals.
Even if I can’t do it all, I can still do something.

And that matters. I can be ready and save my family money on groceries if I shop coupons and deals. I love the hunt of finding the good deals (coke 12 packs under 3 dollars? Sign me up!)
That counts.
You count.

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🧠 The Science of “Just Being Ready”

Here’s a wild little truth bomb for you:
✅ Studies show that having even a small emergency plan (whether that’s for food, money, or time) significantly reduces anxiety, depression, and feelings of helplessness.

A 2017 study published in Disaster Medicine and Public Health Preparedness found that people who felt “prepared” — even just having a few extra essentials on hand — reported higher self-efficacy and lower distress during crises.

Translation?
Planning ahead can actually make you feel more in control, more capable, and less crushed by uncertainty.

As someone who is often referred to as a little bundle of anxiety I can tell you, when shit gets real, and lets face it, if nothing else in life, you’re promised those ‘shit gets real’ moments, (my most recent I think was the school calling me telling me they lost my kid, AGAIN, and asked if I knew where she was! I was thankful my anxiety always makes me have like 20 back up plans lol) prepared people can stand up in times of crisis and fall apart much later after its all taken care of.

Another study in The Journal of Anxiety Disorders found that taking small action steps (like stockpiling shelf-stable foods or creating a “bad day backup” list) built measurable resilience — even in people dealing with ongoing chronic illnesses. Sound familiar? It boils down to an expression I have heard and will try not to butcher from Dr Martin Luther King Jr. “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

Even micro-actions matter.
Even thinking ahead counts.

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🛠️ Solutions for the Hard Days (A Tiny Toolkit)

Because let’s be real: Some days are still going to suck.
But we can stack the deck a little bit in our favor.

Here are a few things that help when it feels like you’re drowning:

• “Shelf Stock” Meals: Build a few meals that live completely in your pantry — no fresh ingredients needed. (Cooked chicken + pasta + jar sauce = emergency lasagna.)
• Backup Spoon Days: Have 3-5 emergency meals that you could make half-asleep with one hand. (Instant rice + microwaveable veggies + rotisserie chicken, anyone? They have individual rice cups, or you can nuke a pouch in 90 seconds and they have a number of flavors, and at our local store whatever rotisseries don’t sell the next day they strip and sell the meat per pound, its amazing to keep on hand, throw it into pasta or rice. I usually do that with sausage and peppers too, makes good dirty rice)

• Permission Slips: Give yourself permission, in writing if you need to, to just survive some days. “Not today” is a full sentence.
• Grabber Tools & Adaptations: They might feel frustrating, but they’re not failure — they’re gear. Gear up like the warrior you are.
• “I’m Still Here” Reminders: Keep a list somewhere visible of the things you have accomplished — even the tiniest wins. Every day I write lists and lists just so I can check them off then never worry about them again.
  Some days? “I fed myself and stayed alive” deserves a damn standing ovation.

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💬 Final Word (From One Battle-Scarred Soul to Another)

Maybe I can’t build the world I dreamed of today.
Maybe my body won’t let me build anything at all.

But I’m still here.
I’m still planning.
I’m still stubbornly, fiercely, stocking a pantry, preparing a home, building a future — even if some days, all I can build is a grocery list and a whispered prayer.

And friend, if you’re reading this?
You’re still building too.
Even if no one else can see it.
Even if it hurts like hell.
Even if today looks small.

You’re still fighting for yourself.
And that’s enough.
That’s always enough. Til next time gang. Take care of yourselves, and each other!