Tag: ADHD

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“Wait, Why Did I Walk in Here Again?” — The Silent Rage of Forgetting Everything and Blaming Yourself for It

JoLeave a comment

I walked into the kitchen and immediately forgot why. So I stood there. Just… stood there. Like maybe the answer would jump out and bite me in the ass. Sometimes it does. Other times I start spinning like a loading screen stuck at 3%, muttering to myself, “No. I came in here for a reason. We are not leaving until we figure it out.”

And then I see the dishes. Maybe that’s why I came in? No… but might as well do them, right? But the water jug needs filling first. So I fill that. If I’m going to do the dishes I should grab my cup. So I go to grab my cup — and by the time I get to my room, the real reason I went into the kitchen finally slaps me in the face. I spin around and race back in before I forget again… but it’s too late. Whatever it was is gone. I sigh. I fill my water. I forget the dishes. And the next time I look up, it’s lunchtime and I have nothing to show for my entire morning but frustration, a full water jug, and a brain that feels like it’s made of mashed potatoes.

You already know I’ve written about executive dysfunction — and this, my friends, is a prime example. Forgetting what you were doing in the middle of doing it? Classic brain chaos.

But the part that really gets me? The rage at myself afterward.

It’s not just forgetfulness. It’s that instant gut-punch of anger when I realize I’ve wasted another 30 minutes chasing my own tail around the kitchen like a confused Sims character. It’s looking up at the clock and realizing that despite all my effort, I have nothing to show for it. Again.

And I know — I know — this isn’t a moral failure. I’ve read the books. I’ve written the posts. But logic doesn’t stop that voice in my head from whisper-screaming:
“Why can’t you just remember one simple thing?”

📚 You’re Not Broken. You’re Wired Differently.

Here’s the thing: this is common for people living with ADHD, bipolar disorder, and fibromyalgia — especially when you’ve got more than one working against you. We’re out here trying to be productive while our brains are basically running Windows 95 during a thunderstorm.

Let me throw you some validation, science-style:

  • A study in Psychiatry Research (2017) found that adults with ADHD often report intense frustration and self-directed anger after forgetful moments — especially when they’re trying to keep up with everyday tasks.
  • Another study in Bipolar Disorders Journal (2020) confirmed that even between episodes, people with bipolar disorder experience ongoing memory lapses and cognitive fog, which can trigger shame and feelings of incompetence.
  • Oh, and let’s not forget fibro fog, which isn’t just a cute nickname — it’s real cognitive dysfunction tied to chronic pain and fatigue. Researchers at the University of Michigan linked fibromyalgia with slower information processing, memory issues, and impaired attention — aka, the holy trifecta of “why am I like this?”

🧠 It’s Not a Lack of Effort — It’s a Lack of Mental Gas

We aren’t failing because we’re lazy or not trying hard enough. We’re just running on fumes while carrying twenty invisible backpacks full of mental weight.

Sometimes we remember. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we get furious with ourselves for not being able to hold all the tabs open, even though the mental browser has clearly crashed and is asking us to send an error report.

And the worst part? We carry that anger all day. It builds. It compounds. It turns into guilt, then into a shutdown. That’s the cost no one sees — and too many of us pay it in silence.

When the Tabs Crash – How to Forgive Yourself for Having a Human Brain

So what do you do when your brain throws a blue screen of death during your breakfast routine?

You don’t white-knuckle it through the guilt spiral, that’s for damn sure. Here’s what I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that might actually help when your brain taps out mid-task:

🔁 1. Reboot, Don’t Rage

When you realize you’ve just lost 20 minutes chasing nothing, pause. Literally. Sit down. Sip your coffee. Give your brain a hot minute to defragment.

Say something to yourself like: “That was frustrating. But it’s not a character flaw. It’s a symptom.”

📝 2. Use External Memory — Sticky Notes Are Your Friends, Not an Admission of Failure

Put a dry erase board in the kitchen. Use a Sharpie on your hand. Talk to yourself out loud like you’re your own helpful assistant.

It’s not “cheating.” It’s adaptive. Athletes wear gear. We write shit down.

🧍‍♀️ 3. Anchor the Space

If you forget why you walked into the room, try narrating the space to yourself.

“I’m in the kitchen. Here’s the sink. I see the water jug. I hear the fridge.”
Sometimes giving your brain cues can help reset the context and recall the task.

🧠 4. Remember: Brains Use Energy. Yours Just Uses More.

You wouldn’t blame your phone for dying if you’d been using GPS, streaming music, and checking Instagram at the same time, right? You’d say, “Yeah, that makes sense.” Your brain is the same. ADHD, bipolar, fibro — they all eat cognitive battery life like candy.

💬 5. Talk Back to the Inner Bully

When that voice says “You’re useless,” respond with your voice:

“Nah. I’m just tired. My brain is tired. I’m still worthy. I’m still showing up.”
Even if you only showed up to stare into the fridge and forget what cheese was for a second — you still showed up.

💗 Final Words: You’re Not Alone. And You’re Not the Only One Forgetting Why You Opened the Fridge.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only person yelling at yourself in the middle of the day for forgetting why you walked into a room — you’re absolutely, 100% not.

And if you’ve been carrying that anger, thinking it means you’re weak or broken or lazy?

Let me tell you something:

You are doing Olympic-level thinking while carrying diagnoses and still remembering your kid’s snack preferences. You are doing fine. Better than fine.

Let the damn dishes wait. You’ve got enough on your plate. Til Next time guys, take care of yourselves, and each other.

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The ADHD Energy Crash: Why It Happens and How to Navigate It

JoLeave a comment

If you live with ADHD, you’re likely familiar with the phenomenon of feeling mentally and physically drained by mid-afternoon. This isn’t just about being tired; it’s a distinct experience tied to the unique ways ADHD affects energy regulation.

🔍 Understanding the ADHD Energy Crash

ADHD is characterized by challenges in executive functioning, which means tasks that require planning, focus, and organization demand more cognitive effort. This heightened effort can lead to quicker depletion of mental energy. Additionally, individuals with ADHD often struggle with interoception—the ability to recognize internal bodily cues—making it harder to notice signs of fatigue until they’re overwhelming.

✅ Practical Strategies to Combat the Crash

Here are several evidence-based strategies to help manage and mitigate the afternoon energy slump:

  1. Incorporate Regular Physical Activity: Engaging in physical exercise can boost energy levels and improve focus. Even short walks or light stretching during breaks can make a significant difference. If you have a fitbit, the get up once an hour and do 250 steps setting, turn it on and stick to it.
  2. Prioritize a Protein-Rich Breakfast: Starting your day with a meal high in protein can stabilize blood sugar levels and provide sustained energy, reducing the likelihood of an early crash. Breakfast isnt a great meal on the go but if nothing else have a protein shake.
  3. Utilize Power Naps Wisely: Short naps, ideally between 10–20 minutes, taken in the early afternoon, can rejuvenate your mind without affecting nighttime sleep. This is a rule of thumb but not one I follow. I found my best nap is between 30 minutes to an hour, it gives me the perfect alertness when I get up. Experiment on your own and listen to your body.
  4. Practice Energy Pacing: Monitor your energy levels throughout the day and plan tasks accordingly. Scheduling demanding activities during peak energy times and allowing for rest during low-energy periods can enhance productivity. I tell people after dinner don’t ask me shit because once the last dish is done I am off the clock lol
  5. Engage in Body Doubling: Working alongside someone else, either in person or virtually, can increase accountability and focus, making tasks feel less daunting. This is seriously magic I don’t get why it works but it does.
  6. Stay Hydrated and Eat Balanced Meals: Dehydration and poor nutrition can exacerbate fatigue. Ensure you’re drinking enough water and consuming meals that balance carbohydrates, proteins, and healthy fats. Water water water. I hate it but it affects more than you’d think.
  7. Maintain Consistent Sleep Patterns: Establishing a regular sleep schedule helps regulate your body’s internal clock, leading to improved energy levels during the day. I’m up at 3. It was upsetting as I tried to change and mold it to conform with the usual hours, when I accepted that my body wanted to set its own schedule and started planning my days around that I was a great deal happier.
  8. Limit Caffeine Intake: While caffeine can provide a temporary boost, excessive consumption may lead to energy crashes later in the day. Moderation is key. HAHAHA! I can hear everyone who knows me heads whipping around. I’m a coca-cola girl, and maybe you arent overly sensitive to caffeine but thats where I’d make adjustments first.
  9. Create a Stimulating Work Environment: Incorporate elements that keep you engaged, such as background music or varying your workspace, to maintain interest and energy. They sell fidget mats that have all these things but your better off getting a fidget spinner, those are portable.
  10. Seek Professional Support: If energy crashes are significantly impacting your daily life, consider consulting a healthcare professional for personalized strategies and potential treatment options. Theres no shame in asking for help.

By understanding the underlying factors contributing to the ADHD energy crash and implementing these strategies, you can better manage your energy levels and maintain productivity throughout the day. Remember, it’s about finding what works best for you and being compassionate with yourself in the process. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves and each other.

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Parenting Through the Fog: ADHD, Fibromyalgia, and Showing Up Anyway

JoLeave a comment

Some mornings, the win is just getting pants on. Other mornings, it’s breakfast made, meds taken, laundry halfway done before noon, and a gold star for basic humaning. But when you live with both Bipolar and fibromyalgia, (with a little ADHD thrown in for good measure) parenting becomes less of a schedule and more of a survival sport.

And the thing no one tells you? Showing up imperfectly still counts.

The Day-to-Day: A Symphony of Chaos and Grit

On paper, it probably looks like we’re flaky. Late to the appointment, forgot the school form (again), still haven’t finished the laundry from last Tuesday. In reality, it’s brain fog, chronic pain, executive dysfunction, and a nervous system that acts like it’s sprinting from a bear… while we’re just trying to make dinner.

It’s the kind of exhaustion you can’t nap your way out of.

Some days you’re the mom who makes Halloween costumes from scratch. Other days you’re the mom who considers goldfish crackers and applesauce a win. You are both and neither — and you are enough.

💡 My Daily Routine (On a Good-ish Day):

I am up at 4. No reason for it, just can’t sleep any later ever since my heart when I was in the hospital, first thing they did was draw blood so I think I started getting up early to psych myself up for it lol/
I do my Duolingo (gotta get to exercising the brain) I ‘watch the news’, I listen to all the late night monologues and any interviews I wanted to catch, or just some music in my headphones when the news isnt interesting.
This is the quiet start to the day..
5:30 First attempt waking hubby
6 First attempt waking up monkey
Usually I watch the news or do my steps in between going room to room rousing people.
6:30 daughters not up start getting irritated.
7:40 I feed and medicate the furry children
8 I start on either post or making something.
10 I have to eat to take my meds
12 the cats get fed and medicated again
12-3 Always cleaning. Folding clothes, vacuuming and dishes usually round out my day.
4 I typically start either project or chat with daughter about her day, dinner
5:30 all my chores are done by now, or as I say to them ‘if it aint done it aint gettin done til tomorrow’
I watch tv til 8 and put myself into bed, usually falling asleep, when I don’t I get up and take a gummie, because I NEED sleep and no matter what time I go to bed I am up at 4, so might as well get some sleep you know?

This might be the hardest for me. Or it WAS, I’m finally letting go.

Spoonie-friendly routines. Simplify where you can. Wash days spaced out. Clothes that don’t need ironing. Outsource or automate what you can.
I have an every other day routine because I am honest with myself and I know I need a day to recover after a productive day LOL

Movement, but gentle. Stretching or chair yoga instead of pretending we’re still in our 20s with full cartilage and a pain-free morning.
Walking, so much walking lol

Let someone help. Even if it’s just asking your kid to throw their trash away. Micro-help still counts.
Stop feeling guilt, other people have hands and feet too!

Digital checklists or ADHD-friendly planners (visual, colorful, forgiving of missed days).
I might know somewhere to get them… LOL Seriously I love mine and feeling halfway organized.

The Numbers Behind the Fog

  • ADHD is underdiagnosed in women by huge margins. One study found girls are 50–75% less likely to be diagnosed than boys, often because they’re more “daydreamy” than disruptive.
  • Fibromyalgia affects 80–90% women, and often takes 5+ years to diagnose. Why? Because women’s pain is historically minimized or chalked up to anxiety.
  • Executive dysfunction isn’t laziness — it’s a brain-based difficulty in initiating, organizing, and following through on tasks. ADHD and fibro both contribute as does the Bipolar.
  • Bipolar disorder is frequently misdiagnosed in women, often as depression or borderline personality disorder. Studies show up to 69% of women with bipolar are initially misdiagnosed, and the average delay before an accurate diagnosis is 6 to 8 years.

So yeah… it’s not in your head. But even if it were, that would still be real.


You’re Not a Failure, You’re a Force

If all you did today was exist in your body and care about your kids, you’ve already done the hard part.

The parenting books didn’t cover flare days or mental fog. But we are writing the new manual: one honest, messy, beautiful chapter at a time.

You’re not alone, you’re not broken — and you don’t have to do this perfectly to be doing it well. Til next time guys, take care of yourselves, and each other

🔍 Sources to Back It All Up

  1. ADHD underdiagnosed in girls/women
  2. Fibromyalgia affects mostly women & takes years to diagnose
  3. Bipolar misdiagnosis in women
  4. Executive dysfunction is real (not laziness!)
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It’s Not Laziness, It’s Executive Dysfunction (And It Sucks)

JoLeave a comment

Let me just say this plainly: if I could get everything done that I want to get done, I’d be running the world, not Googling “how to un-shame clean your kitchen” for the fifth time this week. But thanks to my brain, I’m lucky if I remember why I walked into a room before I forget what day it is. Again.

ADHD Isn’t About Laziness. Period.

We’ve all heard it: “You just need to try harder,” or “If it mattered to you, you’d do it.”

But research—you know, those pesky facts—says otherwise. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that impairs the brain’s executive functioning system. That’s the part of your brain in charge of motivation, planning, prioritizing, and following through. Imagine if the project manager in your head was replaced by a hyperactive squirrel on espresso (GEORGE! George is fine by the way, he has a whole family now, hardly ever has time to say hello). That’s what we’re dealing with.

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Russell Barkley, one of the top researchers on ADHD, people with ADHD have impairments in “executive function” that make self-regulation incredibly difficult. It’s not about willpower; it’s about the wiring. Our dopamine systems are under-responsive to reward cues, which means motivation isn’t just low—it’s missing the GPS coordinates’. I’m not one to give myself excuses, because I don’t like it when others use them and I hate being a hypocrite, but its still true that we are wired differently going in a direction we dont know and are constantly getting redirected. I often liken it to a pinball in a machine.

Unreliable Doesn’t Mean Uncaring

One of the most brutal side effects of ADHD isn’t the mess or the missed appointments. It’s the shame that comes from being “that friend” or “that mom” who can’t follow through the way they want to. You know, the one with a big heart and the flakiest calendar. Do you know how much I’d do for others

People think you’re careless, selfish, or just plain rude. What they don’t see is the internal warfare: the notes, reminders, alarms, sticky tabs, pep talks, self-hatred, guilt spirals, and emotional crashes. You don’t skip coffee with a friend because you don’t care. You skip because your brain misfired three times trying to remember to get dressed and now you’re late and frozen in a shame spiral. Again.

Rejection Sensitivity and the Spiral of Doom

Ever heard of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)? It’s a common experience for people with ADHD and it means that even a hint of disappointment or criticism can hit like a sucker punch to the gut. So now you’re not just late, you’re convinced your friend hates you, you’re the worst human ever, and hey—why not just never make plans again?

This is where ADHD becomes more than a memory issue. It becomes a self-worth issue. You start doubting your ability to be dependable, to show up, to be enough. And when the world keeps reflecting that back at you, the damage compounds.

So What Helps?

  • Compassion (especially from yourself): You’re not lazy. Your brain has different settings. Start there.
  • External supports: Use them all. Alarms, timers, whiteboards, apps, body doubles. Build scaffolding around your brain. I write everything down. I have shit everywhere that I do not remember why I wrote it or sometimes come across the thing I wrote it down for. When I started breaking up every chore into little baby chores I was a lot more real with myself. Like setting the meals as I do. Less chance of me deviating and going into decision paralysis. Though I did mess up this week but it can’t be helped, I forgot and planned a meal on my birthday AND we had a prolonged power outage causing us to throw away a lot of things.
  • Micro-goals: Instead of “clean the house,” try “clear the table.” Progress feels good, if it feels good your brain will do more of it. I do one side of the sink then give myself a free break to write or just veg out for half an hour or whatever. YOU make the rules, there ARE rules though and when you give yourself little dopamine snacks through the day it will make you more even keel.
  • Community: ADHDers need each other. Not for advice—though that helps—but for validation. To always compare yourself against what YOU perceive to be a perfect normal person (though I PROMISE you everyone you meet has stuff bringing them down, some just have the advantage of a prettier package, inside its still the same shit) is pointless.

Here’s the Truth

You can be inconsistent and still be valuable. You can forget the thing and still be deeply caring. You can be unreliable sometimes and still be a good mom, friend, partner, person.

I don’t write this post as a PSA. I write it as someone who has been eaten alive by guilt more times than I can count. I want the world to stop equating productivity with worth. But until it does, I hope this helps someone—even just one person—feel a little less broken. Because I promise, you’re not. Til next time guys. Take care of yourselves and each other

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Why Telling Someone with Anxiety to ‘Just Relax’ Doesn’t Help—and What Actually Works

JoLeave a comment

In today’s fast-paced world, we’re constantly flooded with news from every direction—social media, TV, podcasts, and more. It can feel impossible to escape the nonstop flow of information, and for many, this leads to increased anxiety. As someone navigating a neurodivergent mind, I often struggle with how to handle this overwhelming surge of news. I always have. I remember my first existential crisis thought. I asked my Mom what happens when you die and while I don’t remember her reply the feeling of ice down my spine is burned into my soul. I was eight.

When anxiety levels rise due to the relentless news cycle, well-meaning friends and family often offer the same advice: “Just relax” or “Take a break from the news.” While this may sound simple and straightforward, it can feel dismissive to those of us who experience anxiety or ADHD. The implication is that we can simply switch off our feelings and concerns with a flick of a switch. I get the impulse to say it, it comes to mind for us too. Do you think I am not SCREAMING at myself on the inside to just relax? Did you think thats not a thought that has occurred to me in multiple scenarios in my life, NOTHING coming from my rational adult mind is saying lay on the floor in the fetal position and remember every single thing that could go wrong in life, and then here we are.

For many neurotypical individuals, taking a break from the news or engaging in self-care activities can be effective strategies for managing stress. They might find that stepping away from their screens allows them to recharge and regain perspective. This approach can help them feel more grounded and less affected by external chaos. I’ve seen the methods everyone has suggested work, a lot worked well with people I knew to have heightened anxiety, I have SEEN the benefits.

However, for those of us who are neurodivergent, the situation is often more complex. The advice to “just relax” can feel like a foreign language when our brains are wired differently. Anxiety can manifest as racing thoughts or an inability to focus on anything other than the distressing information we consume. This makes it challenging to simply “turn it off.”

For many neurodivergent individuals, there’s a compulsion to stay informed about current events—often driven by anxiety about missing crucial information. This need can lead to excessive news consumption, where checking updates becomes a ritual rather than a choice. Ironically, this behavior can exacerbate feelings of distress rather than alleviate them. Like I GET that the room is on fire, I can feel the heat of it, and you are RIGHT that the room will be on fire whether I’m looking at it or not, HOWEVER if I’m not looking at it how do I know if a spark will land on me. (That metaphor works on multiple levels, my high brain is giving itself a high five lol)

Hyperfixation is another common experience for those with ADHD or anxiety. When something captures our attention—like a troubling news story—we may find ourselves fixated on it for hours or even days. This rumination can lead us down a rabbit hole of worry and fear, making it difficult to engage in other activities or enjoy moments of peace. It follows you whether you want it to or not any the second you relax that control just a little in your mind the bad thoughts have the clearance they need to invade.

The sensory overload created by constant notifications and alerts can further complicate our ability to cope with anxiety. The barrage of sounds and visuals can feel overwhelming, leading to heightened stress levels and an increased sense of panic. It’s as if our brains are on high alert all the time, making relaxation nearly impossible.

Interestingly, the advice to avoid news altogether can create its own set of challenges. For some neurodivergent individuals (myself included) , avoiding distressing information doesn’t eliminate anxiety; instead, it may lead to increased worry about what we might be missing out on or how we might be unprepared for future events. If I don’t know whats coming at me how can I prepare for the inevitable pop up derailments that follow me around like a rain cloud.

The phrase “just relax” often comes from a place of care but can feel frustrating and invalidating for those dealing with anxiety or ADHD. It minimizes the complexity of our experiences and implies that we lack control over our emotions when, in reality, we’re navigating a much more intricate landscape. On top of that it makes me want to look at them and say ‘REALLY? OMG YOU’RE RIGHT THATS THE ANSWER! Thank you SO much now I am cured’

Ultimately, it’s essential for friends, family members, and healthcare providers to recognize that everyone experiences anxiety differently. Acknowledging these differences can foster better communication and support systems that allow neurodivergent individuals to express their needs without feeling judged or misunderstood.

Strategies to Help:

  1. Mindful Media Consumption: Set specific times during the day when you check the news instead of allowing it to infiltrate every moment.
  2. Curate Your Information Sources: Choose reliable sources that provide balanced reporting without sensationalism.
  3. Practice Grounding Techniques: Techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method (identifying five things you see, four things you hear, etc.) can help anchor you in the present.
  4. Engage in Absorbing Activities: Pursue hobbies that require focus—like painting or reading—to provide a healthy distraction from distressing thoughts.
  5. Seek Support: Talk openly with understanding friends or mental health professionals who respect your experiences and offer guidance tailored to your needs.

There’s little we can do for much of life beside hang on for the ride but distraction can work wonders. I throw myself into finding the best deals. My mind hasnt quieted enough to help me read which is my favorite down time activity, thoughts are too loud for the book words to penetrate the frustrating shell over my brain. Hang in there guys, lets build a community of people who listen and support rather than rush to judge. I’m always happy to hear what helps for you guys, lets share strategies! Til next time gang. Take care of yourselves, and each other.

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Navigating the Chaos of RSD: A Beautiful Disaster’s Guide

JoLeave a comment

So I talked the other day about RSD, which is a bastard that I’m currently fighting with RIGHT NOW in my head. If you experience RSD, save this post. Save my email. In particular save some of these solutions to help you when your brain tries to make you hate yourself.
Let’s dive into how to wrangle this RSD beast without completely losing our shit. These thoughts can hit like a freight train full of emotional baggage, making it a real bitch to keep your cool in social situations. But don’t worry, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve that might just save your sanity.



Self-Compassion (AKA Don’t Be an Asshole to Yourself)
Cut yourself some slack, for fuck’s sake. Everyone gets rejected sometimes – it doesn’t mean you’re a walking dumpster fire. Try talking to yourself like you would to your best friend after a bad breakup. “Hey, you may be a mess right now but you’re still awesome even if that person didn’t see it.” Constant struggle, often you will have to love yourself for trying enough to let go.


Reality Check (Or: Is Your Brain Bullshitting You?)

Before you spiral into the abyss, ask yourself if there’s actual evidence for your fears or if you’re just being a drama queen. Maybe, just maybe, your brain is playing tricks on you. “Okay, they’re 5 minutes late. Does that really mean they hate me, or am I just catastrophizing again?” The only flaw in this logic is when your brain doesn’t let the logical side of your brain kick in because it actually believes the bad shit. You are not who you were and your value doesnt diminish based on what you can and can’t do for someone else.



Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation (Zen and the Art of Not Losing Your Shit)

Try some mindfulness crap to stay grounded. Deep breathing or muscle relaxation can help when you feel like you’re about to go off the deep end. It’s like hitting the pause button on your brain’s chaos for a hot minute. Again, the logical side of you will see this. Listening and believing that it will pass might take some intentional steps like sitting in front of the mirror multiple times a day feeling stupid but in kind words, let the feelings out. Alone even. But say the words out loud, meditate on them if you need to, the best you can do is only so much, sometimes you will fuck everything up, sometimes you CAN’T fix things, thats part of the process, you have to own it to let it go.


Reframe That Shit

Try to see rejection as a learning experience. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of saying “Not this asshole, try again.” Look back at times when rejection led to something better – they exist, I promise. Remember when that job rejection led you to an even better opportunity? Yeah, like that. One door closes but another one you couldnt see is waiting for you. Or maybe you just learn what not to do, everything is a lesson if you frame it as such.


Phone a Friend (Or a Therapist, We Don’t Judge)

Talk to someone who gets it. Sometimes you need an outside perspective to remind you you’re not actually the worst person ever. Join a support group and find your tribe of fellow beautiful disasters. Misery loves company, right? It helps to know you’re not alone in this.


Level Up Your Coping Skills

Find healthy ways to distract yourself or solve problems. Maybe take up kickboxing to punch out your frustrations, or learn to bake so you can stress-eat in style. Channel that energy somewhere useful instead of letting it eat you alive. I often stack on the hobbies, sometimes I have to be writing and listening to late night monologues on you tube and have the news or a game on just to shut up that nagging inner voice that says I’m not good enough. Most days that works


Get Real with Your Expectations

News flash: not every interaction is gonna be rainbows and unicorns. It’s normal to face some rejection in life, even if it feels like getting punched in the gut. Lower that bar a bit, and you might just find yourself pleasantly surprised. Nothing is ever perfect even if it feels like it at the time and thats not even factoring in the other persons reactions maybe they are as awkward as you!



Focus on You, You Magnificent Mess
Work on becoming the badass you want to be. Set some goals and crush them. Nothing builds confidence like proving yourself wrong. “Oh, I can’t do that? Watch me, bitch.” Start by taking account of what you have control over. Thats where you can start. Once you are cognitively aware of what is under your power to do, set a reminder daily to remind yourself, that will help a lot with the expectations and being grounded, but its something you have to commit to taking honest stock in yourself and situations impacting your life.


Curate Your Circle (AKA Ditch the Toxic Assholes)


Surround yourself with people who aren’t total jerks. Limit time with folks who make you feel like crap. Life’s too short for that bullshit. Find your people – the ones who get your brand of crazy and love you anyway. We all have to deal with people in the real world that just rub us the wrong way or are unpleasant. Limit your interactions and while you are not seeing them, think of things you have in common with them so that your next interaction stays controllable and tolerable on your end.


Consider Professional Help (Because Sometimes We All Need a Brain Tune-Up)


Therapy can be a game-changer. CBT might help you rewire that brain of yours to be less of an asshole to you. It’s like getting an oil change for your mind – sometimes you need a professional to keep things running smoothly. Its every few years instead of mileage and it never hurts to have a check in just to keep things running smoothly


Remember, rejection sucks donkey balls, but you’ve got this. You’re tougher than you think, you magnificent mess. These strategies won’t make rejection a walk in the park, but they might just help you navigate this emotional minefield without completely losing your marbles. And hey, if all else fails, there’s always wine and Netflix. No judgment here. Maybe a gummie for me since I don’t drink Til next time guys, take care of yourself, and each other

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Updates and Sleep Tips

JoLeave a comment

Hello out there friends! The past few weeks have been nuts with doctors appointments (I got a new diagnosis and med, go me! Insert sarcastic eye roll here) and the back to school chaos (my baby is getting SO big! She reads this sometimes so I love you beautiful!) So theres a video in the works currently, as you guys know I’m trying this out as I go so it takes me a bit to get everything synced up the way I want it, and I want to do a regular video soon! I have a double eye infection and am super self conscious right now, and in my mental state I know I wouldnt be able to handle the criticism or comments so those more personal ones will be coming your way after my eye doctor appointment next week. I think its next week. I am the worst. Its soon LOL. Until then, lets chat a bit about sleep, and why we should prioritze it.

If you’re juggling more health conditions than a circus clown juggles balls, then getting proper sleep isn’t just important—it’s as crucial as oxygen, you hear me? Quality sleep isn’t some fancy-ass luxury; it’s a damn necessity for us walking pharmacies. (Is it just me? The way I’m popping pills every few hours I feel like I spend more time at Walgreens than some of the employees LOL actually at our Walgreens I likely have been lol their employee retention efforts are not working as they were intended)

Why Sleep Matters Even More for Us Sorry Suckers

When you’re dealing with a smorgasbord of conditions, sleep becomes more important than ever :

Pain Management: Good sleep can make you feel less like you’ve been hit by a truck. Hallelujah! (notice I said LESS)

Immune Function: Sleep boosts your immune system. Because let’s face it, you need all the help you can get, you delicate flower.

Mental Health: Proper sleep might just keep you from losing your shit completely. Anxiety and depression, meet your nemesis!

Cognitive Function: Sleep sharpens your mind. You know, so you can remember all those damn pills you have to take.

Inflammation Reduction: Quality sleep can help reduce inflammation. Because you’re not puffy enough already, right?

Tips for Achieving Better Sleep (You Know, If You’re Into That Sort of Thing)

Now that we’ve established why sleep is so fucking important, let’s talk about how to actually get some, you insomniac bastard:

Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine: Develop a pre-sleep ritual. Read a book, do some gentle stretching, or hell, talk to your plants. Whatever floats your boat. I try and shut small electronics off (phone and kindle) one hour before I intend to go to sleep. No doom scrolling before bed!

Stick to a Schedule: Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Yes, even on weekends, you party animal. People think I’m crazy, I’m up by no later than 5, weekends, vacations, whatever. Do I LIKE getting up that early? I didnt when it started, but once I adjusted and leaned into it and stopped trying to force myself to sleep when I wasnt tired enough to I’ve found I love my morning quiet time. Figure out your own circadian rhythm and learn to plan things around what your body tell you that you need. I find I need far less naps getting through life when I go to bed and get up earlier than everyone. Now I just nap if I know I have something I need to stay up late for lol.

Optimize Your Sleep Environment: Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and cool. Basically, turn it into a cave. A comfy cave.

Limit Screen Time: Put down the damn phone! Your Facebook friends can wait until morning.

Watch Your Diet: No midnight nachos for you, buddy. Your stomach will thank you later.

Exercise Regularly: Move your ass during the day so you can rest it at night. Just don’t go running marathons before bedtime, lol.


Manage Stress: Try some deep breathing or meditation. Even light stretching on the days when the pain level is high, just keep to keep moving. Or just scream into a pillow. We don’t judge.

Consider Sleep Aids: If all else fails, talk to your doc about sleep meds. But for the love of all that’s holy, make sure they play nice with your other meds. I always check with my doc to see, even if its over the counter meds.

Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a good sleep routine. Be patient with yourself, you beautiful soul. Your body and mind will thank you for prioritizing sleep—or at least hate you a little less. Sweet dreams, my friends. Be kind to yourselves, and each other and here’s to better sleep and not wanting to murder everyone tomorrow!

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Savings and Sanity

JoLeave a comment

Alright, you bargain-hunting badasses, let’s dive into the wild world of couponing with ADHD and bipolar mania. It’s like extreme sports for your wallet, but with more paper cuts and less adrenaline!


The Hyperfocusing Phenomenon: When Coupons Are Your Crack

Picture this: You’re drowning in a sea of Sunday papers, eyes darting like a caffeinated squirrel, hunting for that mythical 50% off coupon. Suddenly, time goes all wibbly-wobbly, and you emerge hours later, covered in newsprint and victory. Welcome to hyper focus hell, population: your impulsive ass! Strategic planning your every shopping trip to try and master your finances can be fun and advantageous, but it starts at minute one, giving us that sweet savings dopamine that washes over us when we find an amazing deal. And then we realize, we’ve been staring at the computer looking at these numbers for three hours. Three hours to save $2.00 doesn’t seem cost effective. Managing our time blindness here needs to be a priority. Set alarms and get up when they ring!


For us ADHD and bipolar folks, couponing isn’t just a hobby—it’s a full-contact Olympic sport. That dopamine hit when you score a killer deal? It’s better than sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll combined. Who needs a cape when you’ve got a binder full of BOGO coupons, am I right?

The Blessings: Saving Money Like a Boss
Let’s talk perks, you penny-pinching prodigies. Saving money feels fucking fantastic. You’re stacking coupons like a Jenga master on steroids, comparing prices like you’re cracking the Da Vinci code. Every cent saved is a middle finger to capitalism, and honey, that’s a beautiful thing.
Plus, you’re basically getting a Ph.D. in Bargain Economics. Warren Buffett, eat your heart out—we’re the real financial geniuses here. And outsmarting those retail giants? It’s like being Sherlock Holmes, if Sherlock was obsessed with clearance aisles instead of crime scenes.

The Curses: When Couponing Becomes Your Cruel Mistress
But hold onto your discount pants, because there’s a dark side to this bargain bonanza. Ever found yourself knee-deep in expired coupons at 3 AM, wondering where your life went wrong? Welcome to the hyperfocus hangover, baby. Your to-do list is gathering more dust than your grandma’s china, your relationships are more neglected than that gym membership you bought in January, and your bedroom looks like a paper mill exploded. And let’s not even start on the bipolar spending sprees. It’s all fun and games until your closet looks like you robbed a discount store blindfolded.

The Final Verdict: It’s Complicated AF
So, is couponing a blessing or a curse for us neurodivergent deal hunters? It’s both, darling. It’s about finding that sweet spot between saving money and keeping your sanity. Set boundaries tighter than your budget, use alarms (because your time-blindness isn’t doing you any favors), and remember: self-care is the ultimate BOGO deal.
Couponing isn’t just about hoarding deals—it’s about harnessing your hyperfocus for good. So clip on, you beautiful disaster, and may the savings be ever in your favor!
Stay sassy, stay savvy, and for the love of all that’s discounted, try not to buy another 50-pack of toilet paper just because it’s on sale. Your bathroom can’t take it anymore. Take care of yourselves and each other!

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The Science of Laughing: Why Your Inner Comedian is Your Best Ally

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Hey there, laughter junkies! Ever wonder why that ridiculous meme or goofy joke makes you feel like you just hit the jackpot? If you’re dealing with bipolar disorder, autism, ADHD, or just need a good chuckle, you’re in for a treat. Let’s break down why humor and belly laughs aren’t just for TikTok dances—they’re scientifically proven mood boosters that can change your life. And yes, we’ll keep it as entertaining as a tickle fight at a pajama party!

1. Laugh Your Way to a Better Mood

Picture your brain as a social club with two main sections: the “Party Zone” and the “Stress Central.” When you laugh, you’re basically getting VIP access to the Party Zone.
Here’s the scoop:
The Science Bit: Laughter releases endorphins, those magical little chemicals that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Think of them as your brain’s version of confetti—it’s like a mini celebration of joy.
The Funny Twist: So, next time someone cracks a joke, just remember: your brain is throwing a tiny party in your honor. It’s like having a party planner who never runs out of snacks or energy!

2. Stress? More Like Jest!

Ever noticed how a good laugh can make your worries seem like a joke? That’s because laughter is a natural stress-buster.
The Science Bit:  When you laugh, your body lowers cortisol levels, the stress hormone. It’s like having a built-in stress shield that deflects worries and boosts your overall sense of well-being.
The Funny Twist: If stress was a villain, laughter would be your superhero cape. Imagine your worries being sent flying by a tidal wave of giggles. Who knew saving the day could be this much fun?

3. Laughing is Like a Full-Body Workout

Believe it or not, laughing actually gives your body a mini workout.
The Science Bit: Laughing engages your diaphragm, abs, and even your heart. It’s like cardio without the sweat—unless you’re laughing so hard you snort!
The Funny Twist: So, forget the gym for a moment. Just watch a funny movie or read a joke book and let those giggles be your exercise routine. It’s the only workout where you can sit on the couch and still feel like a champ!

4. The Social Magic of Laughing

Humor isn’t just a solo act; it’s also about connecting with others. And for those with autism, ADHD, or similar conditions, this can be a game-changer.
The Science Bit: Shared laughter strengthens social bonds and improves communication. It’s like having an invisible bridge that connects you to others, making interactions smoother and more enjoyable.
The Funny Twist: Think of it as having universal “friendship glue” that sticks people together. One joke at a time, you’re building a network of chuckles and camaraderie. (Love builds the bridge but its paved with jokes anyway)

5. A Natural High That’s Always Available

One of the best things about laughter is that it’s free and always on tap.
The Science Bit: Laughter enhances overall emotional resilience. It’s like having an emotional Swiss Army knife that’s always ready to handle life’s ups and downs.
The Funny Twist: So, if life hands you lemons, just laugh and turn those lemons into lemonade—extra sweet with a side of giggles!

6. For Bipolar Disorder: Laughter as a Mood Stabilizer

Laughter can be particularly helpful for those managing bipolar disorder.
The Science Bit: During the highs and lows, laughter provides a grounding effect, helping to balance mood swings. It’s like having a funny friend who keeps you steady.
The Funny Twist: Imagine laughter as your mood’s personal GPS—guiding you smoothly from “Whoopee!” to “Phew, that was intense!” without losing your way.

In Conclusion

Laughter isn’t just a reaction; it’s a powerful tool for improving mental health and well-being. From reducing stress and boosting mood to enhancing social connections and offering a full-body workout, humor really is the best medicine. So go ahead, indulge in those silly jokes, funny videos, and laugh-out-loud moments. Your brain, body, and even your social life will thank you for it! Cat videos have saved my life on more than one occassion.
Remember: life might not always be a laugh riot, but finding the humor in it makes the ride a lot more enjoyable. So, grab your favorite comedy and let those laughs fly. After all, happiness is just a chuckle away!

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Mi Vida Loca (My Crazy Life)

JoLeave a comment

Why My ‘Organized Chaos’ Is Actually a Master Plan (And No, I Don’t Know Where the Plan Is)
Listen up, you neurotypicals and neat freaks. You might look at my desk and think a tornado had a love child with a paper factory, but let me tell you, there’s a method to this madness. Welcome to my world, where ‘organized chaos’ isn’t just a fancy way of saying “I’m a mess” – it’s a damn lifestyle.

The Art of Controlled Chaos
To the untrained eye, my workspace looks like a dumpster fire had a baby with a thrift store explosion. But let me assure you, there’s a system here. It’s like a game of 3D chess, except I’m playing against myself, and I’ve lost the rulebook.

  1. The Pile-Em-Up Principle

In my world, piles aren’t just messy heaps; they’re fucking archaeological digs waiting to happen. Each pile is a time capsule of procrastination and good intentions. The pile on the left? That’s shit I meant to file last year. The middle pile? That’s where dreams go to die. And the pile on the right? That’s where I put things that have mysteriously appeared from the ADHD void and will eventually be sorted by sheer dumb luck or divine intervention.

  1. The Lost-and-Found Game

Finding anything in my ‘organized chaos’ is like playing a twisted version of Where’s Waldo, except Waldo is that one crucial document I need for a meeting in five minutes. The rules are simple: if it’s important, it’s lost. The thrill is in the panic-induced search, unearthing long-lost treasures like that one sock I’ve been missing since Obama was president.

  1. The Mysterious Filing System

I don’t have a filing cabinet; I have a “file-ninja” system. Documents should appear where you least expect them – like in the fridge, under the cat, or in last year’s Halloween costume. It’s designed to keep you on your toes and ensure that you never, ever know where anything is. It’s the ultimate test of memory and how long you can go without having a meltdown.

  1. The Calendar Conundrum

My calendar is a masterpiece of chaos theory. It’s a tapestry of sticky notes, cryptic symbols, and reminders that might as well be written in ancient Sumerian. I have a color-coding system that makes perfect sense… when I’m high on caffeine at 3 AM.

  1. The Perpetual ‘To-Do’ List

My ‘To-Do’ list is longer than the credits of a Marvel movie and just as never-ending. It’s less a list and more a chronicle of good intentions and abandoned dreams. Some items have been on there so long they’ve developed sentience and are plotting a rebellion.

The Illusion of Control
Despite the seeming disorder, there’s a comforting illusion that I’ve got my shit together. Each misplaced item and chaotic pile is part of a grander scheme that only I can truly understand – mostly because I made it up as I went along.

Conclusion: Embracing the Clusterfuck
So there you have it: my ‘organized chaos’ is actually a master plan, a dazzling display of ADHD ingenuity. It might look like a disaster zone to the casual observer, but it’s a carefully curated mess that ensures I’m always engaged in the thrilling game of “Where The Fuck Did I Put That Thing?”

Next time someone looks at your desk and asks, “Isn’t that a bit messy?” just smile and say, “Oh, you mean my master plan? It’s a fucking work of art!” After all, in the world of ADHD, the real masterpiece is finding joy in the journey of organized chaos – and occasionally finding that one thing you’ve been looking for for three months.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go reorganize my piles. Or maybe take a nap. Whichever I get distracted by first. (Its nap, its always nap). Take care of yourself gang, and each other.