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Finding Your Tribe: When Life’s Dealt You a Crappy Hand

Let’s face it, parenting is hard enough without throwing mental health issues, chronic pain, or neurodivergence into the mix. It’s like trying to juggle flaming chainsaws while riding a unicycle – on a tightrope. Over a pit of hungry alligators.

First off, let’s address the elephant in the room: isolation. When you’re dealing with bipolar disorder, fibromyalgia, ADHD, or raising a kid with autism, it can feel like you’re on a deserted island. A really shitty deserted island where the coconuts are actually grenades and the sand is made of Legos. But you’re not alone. There are tons of us out here, fumbling through life, trying not to fuck up too badly. Alot of us out here that feel like we are one mistake or misunderstanding away from being ostracized by everyone we love if we say anything thats even remotely negative, and stuff it down, way down to our toes but every day theres more and more… Oh is that just me? If you relate to any of this, all of this, you are among friends.

But maybe you’re old school and want to see actual human faces. Local support groups can be a godsend. Picture this: a room full of people who don’t bat an eye when you say you forgot to pack your kid’s lunch because a depressive episode hit you like a freight train. No judgment, just understanding nods and maybe someone offering to carpool next time. It’s fucking beautiful.

Here’s a fun fact for you: Studies show that people with chronic conditions who participate in support groups report lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. It’s like group therapy, but without the hefty price tag and with more swearing.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking: “But what if I’m too anxious to meet new people?” or “What if my fibro flares (as its known to do especially when we get nervous, so that starts its own self destructive doom cycle) and I can’t make it?” Listen, we’ve all been there. The beauty of our fucked-up little community is that we get it. Can’t make it to the meetup because your body decided today was a good day to feel like you’ve been hit by a truck? Send a message. Chances are, someone else is in the same boat and you can commiserate virtually.

Remember, building connections takes time. It’s not like those cheesy rom-coms where you meet your best friend in a quirky coffee shop and suddenly you’re inseparable. It’s more like dating – awkward at first, with a lot of trial and error. But when you find your people, it’s worth all the cringe-worthy small talk and anxiety-induced sweating. I started my online fibro journey 20 years ago and am proud to say I have friends from a few countries and sometimes that is super helpful perspective wise. I like to think of it like a marathon. Only we arent racing, its not a sprint. There are people who will pull ahead or fall behind, theres some that will keep pace with you for a time its all welcome, you learn from every encounter, just trust and be open to the blessings and gifts and messages buried in pain, good or bad, there are always lessons to be learned.

So, here’s your homework, you beautiful dears: Reach out. Join a group. Send a message. Hell, start your own support group if you can’t find one that fits. Because at the end of the day, we’re all in this together. We’re all just trying to keep our heads above water while making this whole world spin. And remember, on those days when everything feels like too much, when you’re convinced you’re the worst person in the world, there’s a whole community out here ready to remind you that you’re doing just fine. We’ve got your back, even if we’re all a bit of a hot mess ourselves. Just do your best and we’ll pull each other up, one rung of the ladder at a time. Til next time gang,take care of yourselves and look out for each other. And George, look out for George he’s a shady little fucker …

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Finding Joy in Everyday Life: Cultivating Small Moments of Joy and Gratitude

Hey there! Life can sometimes feel like a whirlwind, especially when you’re juggling the ups and downs of mental health and family life. As a bipolar mama dealing with anxiety and ADHD and chronic pain, I totally get how tough it can be to spot joy amidst the chaos. But trust me, it’s those little moments that can help us cultivate gratitude and find some peace. So, let’s chat about how to invite joy into your everyday life, even when things get a bit bumpy.

Embrace the Power of Small Moments
Joy often sneaks in through the little things—a warm cup of coffee, a quick chat with a friend, or a giggle with your kid. So, hit pause for a sec and soak it all in. Take a deep breath, be present, and notice the little details around you. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay anchored in the moment and make it easier to see the beauty hiding in plain sight.

Create a Joy Jar
Here’s a fun idea: grab a jar and some slips of paper. Whenever something brings you joy or you feel grateful, jot it down and toss it in the jar. Over time, you’ll have a treasure trove of positive reminders to dig into whenever you need a little pick-me-up. It’s a great way to shift your focus from challenges to the bright spots that pop up throughout your day.

Celebrate Your Achievements
Big or small, every win counts! Set some manageable goals—like finally tackling that mountain of laundry or taking a stroll outside—and give yourself a high-five when you achieve them. Celebrating these little victories helps build momentum and reinforces the idea that joy can come from everyday accomplishments. Try and limit the unpleasant activities to one each day, we can all stomach a lot more if we break it off into bite size chunks.

Cultivate Gratitude
Gratitude is like magic for your perspective. Try keeping a gratitude journal where you jot down three things you’re thankful for each day. This simple practice helps shift your focus from what’s missing in your life to what you already have, nurturing a more positive mindset. If three sounds daunting, start with one. There is air in your lungs. Tomorrow it can be the baby that smiled at you in the check out lane. If you can’t find one thing to be grateful for, then be someone else’s reason to give thanks, then there will be two of you.

Connect with Nature
Nature is like a big hug for your soul. Even a short walk around the block or spending some time with your plants can lift your spirits. Pay attention to the sounds, colors, and textures around you—engaging with nature can really help ground you and reconnect you with yourself. Sunlight, and I am one of those people that hisses when light touches me, but 20 minutes of open air sunlight exposure every day will connect you, ground you to your surroundings and give you vitamins and minerals that light bulbs can’t replace.

Engage in Creative Activities
Get those creative juices flowing! Whether it’s painting, writing, gardening, or crafting, find something that sparks joy for you. Allow yourself to create without any judgment; just enjoy the process and let it be a source of happiness and self-discovery. A fifteen minute block of time with nothing but a piece of paper and a pen and just write or draw, whatever you feel.

Reach Out for Connection
Feeling isolated can be tough when you’re navigating mental health challenges. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups—sharing your experiences can lighten the load and remind you that you’re not alone in this journey. I’ve found a lot of help and information in message boards. I’ve considered setting up a small message board here, not with any centralized theme I just want somewhere anyone can come to not feel alone.

Practice Self-Compassion
We all have tough days; it’s part of being human! So, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a friend going through a rough patch. Remember that every step toward joy matters—even if it feels small. You don’t have to have it all together, you don’t have to have anything together and its ok to not be ok.

Make Room for Play
As busy mamas, we often forget how important play is! Carve out time for activities that bring you joy—whether it’s playing games with your autistic teen or trying out a new hobby. Play helps relieve stress and reminds us of the simple joys in life. If you can share the hobbies you enjoy with the ones you love it will give you both reasons to smile.

Find Meaning in Challenges
It might be hard, but try to find meaning in your struggles. Reflect on what you’ve learned from those experiences and how they’ve shaped you. This perspective can help build resilience and deepen your appreciation for the joy that follows tough times. Its lessons that shape us good or bad and its because of where we’ve been that we know where we ARE.

Conclusion

Finding joy in everyday life isn’t about pretending challenges don’t exist; it’s about embracing those small moments that light up our days. As someone navigating bipolar disorder, anxiety, and ADHD, I know how real the struggle is—but by cultivating gratitude and seeking out joy, we can tackle our journeys with more resilience and hope. Remember: it’s perfectly okay to seek support and take time for yourself. You deserve joy, and it’s often hiding in the simplest moments! Take care of yourselves, and each other!