Tag: bipolar depression

Uncategorized

The “I Can’t Move or Think” Days: Fibro Fatigue Meets Depression

JoLeave a comment

There are days where it’s not just tired.

It’s not “I didn’t sleep well.”
It’s not “I need more coffee.”

It’s:

I can’t move.
I can’t think.
And I don’t even have the energy to explain why.

When fibromyalgia fatigue and depression hit at the same time, they don’t take turns. They stack. And suddenly, even the smallest things feel impossible.

Getting out of bed feels like lifting weights.
Answering a text feels like solving a puzzle.
Making a simple decision feels like your brain just… shuts off.

What’s Actually Happening (and why it’s not “just in your head”)

Fibromyalgia isn’t just pain—it affects the nervous system in a way that can drain your energy at a deep, physical level. Research shows that people with fibromyalgia often experience central nervous system sensitization, which can amplify fatigue and make normal effort feel overwhelming.

Add depression into the mix, and your brain is dealing with low motivation, slowed thinking, and reduced energy regulation. Depression isn’t just emotional—it affects how your brain processes effort and reward.

So when both hit at once, it’s not a mindset issue.

It’s your body and brain both hitting the brakes at the same time.

What These Days Actually Look Like

These are the days where:

  • You stare at your phone and can’t process what you’re reading
  • You want to do something—anything—but can’t start
  • You feel heavy, foggy, disconnected
  • You start questioning yourself (“Why can’t I just get up?”)

And the worst part?

You know what you “should” be doing.
You just can’t access the ability to do it.

The Shift That Helps (even a little)

On these days, the goal can’t be productivity.

It has to be survival and support.

That might look like:

  • doing one tiny thing instead of ten
  • choosing rest before you crash harder
  • lowering expectations without guilt
  • letting “enough” actually be enough

Because pushing through this kind of exhaustion doesn’t build strength—it usually makes the next day worse.

A small truth worth holding onto

These days feel like failure, but they’re not.

They’re part of living in a body and brain that sometimes need more care than cooperation.

You’re not lazy.
You’re not weak.
You’re dealing with two very real things at once.

And if all you did today was exist through it?

That still counts. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.

Uncategorized

The Intersection of ALL My Illnesses… Yay…

JoLeave a comment

Buckle up, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the batshit crazy world of navigating bipolar mania, fibromyalgia, and ADHD all at once. It’s a three-ring circus of creativity, pain, and squirrel-like attention spans that’ll make your head spin faster than a fucking top.

Way Down We Go is right!

Let’s start with the highs of bipolar mania, shall we? Imagine your brain as a pinball machine on steroids, ricocheting from one grandiose idea to the next with the force of a supernova. Every neuron is firing PURE GOLD, you’re a veritable fountain of creativity, spewing out ambitious plans and innovative concepts like a deranged Dr. Seuss on crack. The energy is intoxicating, the possibilities endless, and you’re ready to conquer the world with your sheer force of will (and maybe a touch of delusion).

But just as you’re revving up to change the course of human history, fibromyalgia comes crashing in like a drunk party guest, often giving you the coordination of one as well. Suddenly, every movement feels like you’re being stabbed by a thousand tiny knives, and even the simple act of getting out of bed becomes a Herculean feat of endurance. It’s like your body is actively sabotaging your mind’s grand schemes, leaving you to navigate the treacherous waters of creativity while battling a constant companion of pain and fatigue.

And just when you thought things couldn’t get any more chaotic, ADHD decides to join the party, bringing its own special brand of chaos to the mix. Suddenly, your pinball brain is not only ricocheting from one idea to the next but also careening off in a million different directions at once. Focusing on a single task becomes a Sisyphean struggle, as your attention span rivals that of a caffeinated toddler on a sugar high. (I’m really pleased with how that graphic came out. Thats right folks, I pick something for each paragraph and find and customize it myself, I’m a nerd lol)

But fear not, my fellow warriors, for we are nothing if not resilient AF. We may be a hot mess of contradictions, but we’re also a force to be reckoned with when it comes to navigating this twisted labyrinth of creativity and challenges.

First and foremost, self-awareness is key. We’ve got to learn to recognize the signs and symptoms of each condition, so we can manage them like the badass bosses we are. When the mania starts veering towards impulsivity, it’s time to rein that shit in. When the fibromyalgia pain is threatening to derail our productivity, we adapt and conquer.

Next up, we’ve got to embrace our creative outlets while setting some damn boundaries. Sure, we’re bursting with ideas and ambitions, but we’ve also got to break that shit down into manageable steps. Bite-sized chunks of creativity, if you will, that our ADHD brains can actually focus on without getting distracted by the next shiny object that catches our eye.

And let’s not forget the importance of taking care of our physical and mental health, shall we? Proper rest, nutrition, and exercise can work wonders in mitigating the symptoms of both fibromyalgia and ADHD. Throw in some mindfulness practices like meditation and yoga, and we might just achieve a semblance of inner peace amidst the chaos.

But let’s be real, we can’t do this shit alone. That’s why we’ve got to enlist the help of professionals – therapists, specialists, and anyone else who can help us navigate this twisted labyrinth of conditions. They’re like our own personal Sherpas, guiding us through the treacherous terrain of our own minds and bodies.

At the end of the day, living with bipolar mania, fibromyalgia, and ADHD is a fucking testament to our resilience and strength. We’re a bunch of creative badasses who refuse to let our challenges define us. Sure, it’s a wild ride filled with ups, downs, and more twists and turns than a soap opera plot line, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. So let’s embrace the complexity, embody the resilience, and keep on creating our own unique brand of chaos – one delightfully twisted day at a time. Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other!

Uncategorized

New month new problems…

JoLeave a comment

Well not new, but now that fibro awareness month has passed and I’ve given you all a month of details about how shitty that is, lets talk about something else for a few days, its cool guys I have PLENTY of topics to discuss, today lets talk a bit about Bipolar. I’ve had Bipolar for longer than I’ve had fibro, but it always takes the backseat until it hits an extreme. I’m currently in the wild throes of a mixed episode, which means I’m as unpredictable as a bucking bronco at the rodeo after chugging a case of Red Bull. One second I’m crying hysterically, the next I’m trying to lasso and ride the ceiling fan.


My bipolar is like a pinball machine from hell – my brain is the shiny silver ball, ricocheting around at breakneck speeds. The flashing lights are my manic episodes, when I go careening off the paddles of mania, bouncing erratically with frenetic energy. Those paddles smash me from one extreme to the other, never letting me settle.

During the depressive lows, it’s like I get trapped in those draining holes and alleys at the bottom of the machine, the ball stuck in a dark void. I’ll roll listlessly for a while until the mania kicks back in, launching me back into the neon chaos. Thwack! There I go, pinging off the bumpers of delusion and grandiosity. Boing! Now I’m ricocheting off the impulse control ramp straight into a high-risk bender.

All the while, those bipolar mood swings work the flippers, smashing me back and forth between the extreme highs and lows. The tilt sensors are permanently triggered – one little nudge and I go wildly veering off course into an unstable episode. Half the time I’m draining down the hole of suicidal thoughts, the other half I’m smashing into the mania jackpot of reckless benders and bizarre schemes.

It’s a never-ending barrage of bright frantic mania, dark depressive corners, and jarring transitions in between. The only consistent thing is that I’m a pinball being beaten around my bipolar machine’s twisted playground of emotional extremes. The flippers are always primed to send me ricocheting in some manic new direction…until the game inevitably tilts into its next cycle. I go long periods of time in the dark, but I have to always remember there’s light on the other side of it at some point. Even if no one reads this, then 20 yrs from now its stumbled upon and one person feels just a little bit more understood and a little less alone, it’ll have been worth feeling it so I can for one second relate when someone feels their loneliest. Til next time guys, take care of yourselves, and each other.