Let’s talk about something as tough as politics at a holiday dinner: dealing with questions about your estranged child at festive gatherings. It’s like navigating an emotional minefield while balancing sugar cookies and a glass of eggnog. Here’s the deal, people are going to ask. They’ll ask because they care, or because they’re nosy, or because they forgot that small talk can sometimes be big talk. When they do, it’s like someone blasting “All I Want for Christmas Is You” right in your face – jarring and overwhelming.

But here’s the thing: you don’t owe anyone your full story. You’re allowed to protect your heart, even if Aunt Mildred thinks she’s entitled to the details. So, for the sake of your sanity (and to avoid ugly-crying into the punch bowl), it’s a good idea to have a few responses ready. Think of them as emotional armor or your invisibility cloak at the holiday party of life. These responses aren’t deflections; they’re self-care. They allow you to acknowledge the situation without turning the evening into a therapy session. Because, let’s be real, the only professional help we need during the holidays is from a chef or bartender.

Here are 10 responses that google thinks are easier to digest than dinner and won’t give you emotional indigestion, along with my opinion of each They are not lies or anything negative, just a subtle change of direction to avoid awkwardness and not be sitting there talking trash or anything but make you feel more prepared.:

“It’s been a year of changes. I’m learning to embrace the present moment. How are you handling the holiday bustle?

” This is fairly broad and could even be mundane, I like this for a more formal affairs.

“They’re on their own journey right now. How about you? How’s your family doing?”

I like this one for my extended family I think, it sounds more hippie live and let live man vibe that I try and live my life by

“We’re giving each other some space at the moment. I’d rather focus on the festivities today.”

Great to talk about whatever thing you are currently thinging lol either a celebration or something like other parents at other kids plays, concerts, choir whatever your children are a part of (also does anyone besides me get a little annoyed that choir is not spelled like it sounds ‘io, oi is different, I-OR? Just me?)’

“It’s a complicated situation, but I’m working on finding joy in other aspects of life. How are you enjoying the party?”

This is really cold I think, definitely suitable for a work gathering or something

“They couldn’t make it this year. I’m grateful for the loved ones who are here. Have you tried the appetizers?”

This is definitely for a family and its a good diversion, who doesnt love food lol, the only hesitation I would have is its kind of a lie, so not my favorite

“We’re navigating some challenges. I appreciate your concern, but I’d prefer not to discuss it today.”

Abrupt and kind of rude, so use this on someone who is persistent dogged in their pursuit of tea to spill

“They’re taking time for themselves this holiday. Speaking of which, do you have any exciting plans for the season?”

I don’t really like this one as it could be true or not but its not why they arent there and will probably just make more questions.

“It’s a sensitive topic for me right now. I hope you understand if I’d rather talk about something else.”

Most will take this subtle hint (more like knock on the head with a hammer) but the convo might sputter out quick because of the awkwardness, the other person probably reaching in their brain for a question that WOULDN’T involve , so use this if you want the person to become disinterested and walk away.

“We’re in a period of transition. But enough about that – how have you been?”

Just saying enough about that may lead them to think you are being modest or something and try and dig deeper. Best to avoid this one

“They’re finding their own way this year. I’m focusing on creating new traditions. What’s your favorite holiday tradition?”

I mean, finding their own way sounds like you were just mean and said find it yourself, or it sounds that way to me anyway

Using these doesn’t mean you’re in denial or don’t care—it means you’re choosing self-preservation. And if someone pushes for more info, feel free to disappear to the bathroom or suddenly become fascinated by the nearest houseplant. You’ve got this, holiday warriors. May your responses be smooth, your boundaries strong, and may there always be a distraction when you need one. Until next time guys, take care of yourselves, and each other