My body and winter are not in a partnership.
This is not a misunderstanding.
This is a formal complaint.
Here are the cold-weather offenses my body would like formally noted.
1. Cold Floors
The floor should not feel like it’s actively trying to steal my soul through my feet.
Socks help. Slippers help. BOTH preferred.
Nothing helps enough.
2. Wind That Feels Personal
Some wind is just weather.
Some wind shows up with intent.
If I wanted to be slapped by air, I would have made different life choices.
3. Joints That Suddenly Think They’re 90 Years Old
One normal movement.
One tiny twist.
And now my knee is filing paperwork.
Cold makes every joint feel like it’s been pre-injured in a previous life. Somebody borrowed my body for something fun then returned it all achey and broken.
4. The Way Cold Makes Pain Louder
Pain already exists.
Cold weather just turns the volume knob and snaps it off.
It’s not new pain — it’s amplified pain, which somehow feels ruder. Shut it off. Ok thats not practical, how about just a polite ‘can you turn that down please.’
5. Muscles That Refuse to Warm Up
Stretching?
Heating pads?
Positive thoughts?
My muscles respond with:
“No 💖” then it laughs and says no again and I could cry.
6. Static Electricity Betrayal
Nothing like being attacked by your own light switch.
Winter electricity has trust issues, and now I do too. It pairs well with skin so dry it’s legally kindling.
7. Getting Out of Bed
The bed is warm.
The air is hostile.
My body cannot be expected to make that transition peacefully. I wish I could be like Roman Emperors and have the business of the day brought to my bed. I’d hate it there too but at least I’d be comfortable.
8. Cold Air in My Lungs
Breathing should not hurt.
Yet here we are.
Why does cold air feel like inhaling disappointment?
9. The Lie of “Just Bundle Up”
Oh, sure.
Let me just add one more layer and magically override my nervous system. Adding more clothes means more weight, more seams, and puts me on a fast track to sweating.
10. The Way Winter Pretends This Is Normal
People will say:
- “It’s not that cold.”
- “You’ll get used to it.”
- “It’s just the season.”
My body disagrees. Loudly. Daily. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.
WannaBeNormal 