Tag: depression

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Memory… All Alone In The MOONLIGHT

JoLeave a comment

Our memories are not just static recordings of events; they are deeply intertwined with our emotions, perceptions, and personal histories. This intricate relationship often leads to a fascinating phenomenon: two people can experience the same event and yet remember it in vastly different ways. This divergence is rooted in the complex interplay of psychology, neuroscience, and personal interpretation. People think of memory like a computer, and you can pull up exactly what happened, exactly how you felt as you felt it, but it’s not, and our brains are weird, which is why the Mandela Effect is a well-known phenomenon where a large group of people remember an event or detail differently from how it actually occurred. This collective misremembering often leads people to believe in alternative memories that contradict factual evidence.

Psychologists and researchers attribute the Mandela Effect to a variety of factors, including false memories influenced by social reinforcement, misinformation, suggestion, and the brain’s reconstructive nature when recalling memories. It’s a fascinating example of how collective memory can be influenced and distorted over time.

I can personally attest to memories being unreliable. I have the most vivid memory; it was a recurring dream that I still have sometimes. My Dad, who died when I was 15, would get up EARLY for work. I have always been an early riser, but I had the bedroom off the kitchen, and I would sometimes hear him in the morning as he got ready for work and chat with him – nothing life-altering, just mundane stuff. I remember hearing him boil water for tea, get the milk out to put in it, hear the spoon clink the mug as he stirred it, then he’d slide it across the counter, silent as he drained his cup. Then I’d hear him push his stool back under the counter and put his mug in the sink, and I’d hear his chain of keys slide across the counter. Then, downstairs, I’d hear the door shut, the truck start, all of it. Still, sometimes I hear it in my dreams and wake up excited to talk to him, 30 years later. One problem: no one else remembers this. In fact, I’ve been told I have remembered nearly every part of it wrong. Apparently, we had a coffee maker, and Dad didn’t drink tea but drank coffee black. So, there is a significant discrepancy in my memory, and I’m clearly mistaken, but to me, it is incredibly real. But it’s not – I’m remembering something that is very loosely based in reality (I did have a bedroom off the kitchen and I DO FOR SURE remember going out in the morning and talking to him; he did for sure have a long chain his keys were on, etc).

You know how sometimes you and your friend remember the same event totally differently? Well, there’s a pretty cool reason for that. Our emotions act like filters for our memories, shaping our experiences. When we’re in a great mood, even ordinary things seem awesome because our happy emotions influence our perception. Conversely, feeling anxious or distracted can make us miss out on the good things around us. For example, at a party, a great time will result in fond memories, while feeling out of place may lead to recalling mostly awkward moments or forgetting most of it. It’s not about one person’s memory being right and the other’s wrong; it’s about how our emotions at the time affect the way we process and store memories. Our brains essentially create personalized highlight reels based on our emotions in the moment.

Now, throw in your personal baggage (we’ve all got it, don’t pretend). Our upbringing, cultural background, past traumas, and even current circumstances all contribute to our cognitive frameworks. Maybe you grew up in a house where yelling meant “I love you,” while your friend’s family communicated exclusively through passive-aggressive Post-it notes. Fast forward to adulthood, and suddenly you’re wondering why they’re freaking out over what you consider a “spirited debate” about pineapple on pizza.

Our brains are as unique as snowflakes, if snowflakes were really into overthinking and occasional existential crises. Neuroscientists have discovered that individuals can have varying levels of activation in brain regions responsible for memory formation and emotional processing. This variability can influence the vividness, detail, and emotional tone of memories, contributing further to differences in recollection between individuals who experience the same event. Some of us have memory centers that work overtime, while others… well, let’s just say they’re more “big picture” thinkers.

And here’s the kicker: every time you remember something, your brain basically plays a game of telephone with itself. Memories are not snapshots but rather dynamic constructs that are reconstructed each time we recall them. During this process, our brains may fill in gaps, emphasize certain details, or alter the emotional tone based on our current mindset and understanding. This phenomenon, known as memory reconsolidation, means that memories can evolve over time, becoming increasingly shaped by subsequent experiences and interpretations. By the time you’re recounting that hilarious story for the hundredth time, it’s probably evolved more than a Pokémon.

So, what’s the takeaway from this neurological circus? First, cut yourself some slack. Your memories are about as reliable as a weather forecast, but that’s okay. Second, maybe ease up on insisting your version of events is the gospel truth. Recognizing that someone’s memory of an event may differ from our own does not invalidate their experience; rather, it underscores the richness and subjectivity of human perception. Empathy, therefore, becomes essential in bridging these differences, allowing us to appreciate diverse perspectives and deepen our connections with others. And finally, next time your friend swears that karaoke night was a smashing success while you’re still trying to forget your off-key rendition of “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” remember: you’re both right, in your own beautifully flawed, human way.

Why do I have this sudden urge to bombard you with a bunch of random facts? Fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder, ADHD—yeah, these guys can really mess with your memory, and not in a fun way. Understanding how these troublemakers affect memory can give us some hilarious insights into the chaos they cause in our daily lives.

In the end, our differing memories aren’t just fodder for heated debates; they’re a reminder of how wonderfully weird and complex we all are. So embrace the chaos, laugh at the inconsistencies, and maybe, just maybe, listen to your friend’s version of events with an open mind. Who knows? Their rose-colored recollection might just brighten up your day. Maybe they have a spare pair of pretty glasses to share, maybe looking at the memory from their perspective would open your mind.
And remember, if all else fails, there’s always security camera footage.
Just kidding.
Maybe.
Take care of yourself, and each other (and happy Heavenly Birthday Daddy, love and miss you always)

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Roller Coaster of Rejection: Navigating RSD with ADHD

JoLeave a comment

Alright, you beautiful disasters, strap in for a wild ride through the shit show that is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) with ADHD. RSD refers to an intense emotional response or pain triggered by feelings of perceived rejection, criticism, or failure. It is commonly associated with conditions like ADHD and is characterized by an extreme sensitivity to perceived interpersonal rejection or negative feedback. This emotional response can be disproportionate to the situation and may manifest as feelings of deep hurt, sadness, anger, or even physical discomfort in response to what others might consider minor or routine interactions. It’s like emotional Russian roulette, but instead of a bullet, it’s loaded with crippling self-doubt and the overwhelming urge to crawl into a hole and die. I think to a degree we all fall somewhere in the grey area on RSD, none of us are exactly overjoyed with criticism, but for people with RSD, that critique doesn’t just glance off the ego like a missed catch, it bowls us over like a cannon ball to the gut.

Picture this: You’re strutting through life, feeling like hot shit, when BAM! Someone doesn’t immediately want to be your best friend, and suddenly you’re spiraling faster than a drunk squirrel on a merry-go-round. Welcome to the fucked-up world of RSD, where every minor setback feels like the universe is personally telling you to go fuck yourself. (This is George’s girlfriend Gracie. She likes to get a little bit tipsy)

RSD, or as I lovingly call it, the “Why Does Everyone Hate Me?” syndrome, is like having a superpower you never asked for and definitely don’t want. It’s not just feeling a bit bummed when things don’t go your way. Oh no, it’s a full-on emotional tsunami that leaves you wondering if you should just say “fuck it” and become a hermit in the woods.

The experts (bless their hearts for trying to understand our chaos) reckon RSD is our brain’s way of saying, “Hey, let’s make this bitch suffer!” It’s often found partying hard with its BFF, ADHD, like two drunk frat boys wreaking havoc on your emotional stability. Why? Because apparently, our brains are wired to be drama queens. So next time you’re ugly crying because your cat looked at you funny, remember – it’s not you, it’s your fucked-up neural pathways!

Living with RSD is like trying to navigate a minefield while drunk and blindfolded. You never know when some innocent comment will trigger a meltdown that makes soap opera stars look emotionally stable. But don’t worry, there are coping strategies! Take a deep breath (or chug a glass of wine, no judgment here), remind yourself that not everyone is plotting your demise, and maybe invest in a punching bag for those moments when you need to physically beat the shit out of your feelings.
In conclusion, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is the uninvited asshole at your emotional party – it shows up unannounced, drinks all your booze, and leaves you questioning your life choices. But hey, it’s a reminder that our brains are wonderfully fucked up, even if they sometimes make us feel like we’re starring in our own personal tragicomedy.So, the next time RSD comes knocking, tell it to fuck right off, grab some popcorn (or tequila), and enjoy the shitshow. Remember, you’re not alone on this batshit crazy roller coaster of rejection. We’re all in this together, you magnificent train wrecks!And that’s a fucking wrap! Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other! (BTW George asked if you’d keep an eye out for Gracie, he lost track of her after she put the lamp shade on her head and started singing Milkshake!)

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More Brain Battles

JoLeave a comment

Folks tonight, in the ‘if I don’t laugh I’ll cry category, welcome to ‘My brain is a sieve and I can’t remember shit’. I know you guys get it, it happens to all of us as we get older, but man you add fibro fog, mania, and ADHD and you’ve got a special kind of mush don’t you? Welcome to the club, where we’re all annoying as hell, but no one’s more pissed off about it than we are!

Let’s start with the classic “I Know Things But Can’t Remember Them When I Need To” syndrome. You know, that delightful phenomenon where your brain is like a squirrel hoarding nuts, except instead of nuts it’s random facts, and instead of finding them when winter comes, they’re lost in the abyss of your mind. It’s like having a library where all the books are constantly rearranging themselves. Fun times! Or how about when you sit straight up in bed some random Thursday at 1:25 in the morning and suddenly someone let the tap that keeps the fun facts all neat and tidy loose and you remember your 4th grade best friend’s dog’s name. Not at all needed or wanted info, but you’ve got that shit at the ready should it ever prove useful.

Then there’s the “I Just Met You And I’ve Already Forgotten Your Name” dance. Oh, the joys of introducing yourself to someone, having a whole conversation, and then realizing you have no clue who the hell they are five minutes later. It’s like your brain has a “delete recent history” button that gets hit every time you meet someone new. Sorry, not sorry, Karen… or was it Susan? Is it awkward to ask the name of someone? How about mid convo? How about for the fourth time? How about when you are so focused on remembering their name that you don’t listen to anything they said because you were too busy committing the name to memory? See? Annoying, well aware, but any way you look at it its going to be awkward so you just gotta pick your awkward lol.

This segues perfectly into our next category “Words Go In But Understanding Takes A Vacation” experience. You know, when someone’s talking to you and you’re nodding along like one of those bobblehead dogs, but your brain is still buffering like a 90s internet connection. By the time you’ve processed what they’ve said, they’re three topics ahead and you’re left wondering if you accidentally time-traveled.

Now, I don’t know the fancy scientific terms for these delightful quirks of cognition. Maybe it’s some flavor of ADHD, a dash of anxiety, or just good old-fashioned “my brain likes to fuck with me” syndrome. Whatever it is, it’s about as welcome as a porcupine in a balloon factory.

The real kicker? We know we’re annoying people. We see the eye rolls, the sighs, the “I just told you this five minutes ago” looks. But trust me, no one is more annoyed than we are. It’s like being trapped in a sitcom where you’re both the bumbling character AND the frustrated audience.

So, to all my fellow memory-challenged, slow-processing, name-forgetting comrades out there, I salute you. We may be annoying as hell, but at least we’re consistent about it. And hey, if people get too fed up with us, chances are we’ll forget about it anyway!

Remember (ha!), you’re not alone in this cognitive clusterfuck. We’re all just doing our best to navigate a world that expects us to remember things, process information quickly, and not look like a deer in headlights during casual conversation. So cut yourself some slack, embrace the chaos, and maybe invest in some name tags.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go figure out who the hell I was talking to earlier and why I have a reminder on my phone that just says “purple elephant banana split.” Notes only work if they make sense people lol. Wish me luck! Til next time, take care of yourself, and each other!

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The Intersection of ALL My Illnesses… Yay…

JoLeave a comment

Buckle up, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the batshit crazy world of navigating bipolar mania, fibromyalgia, and ADHD all at once. It’s a three-ring circus of creativity, pain, and squirrel-like attention spans that’ll make your head spin faster than a fucking top.

Way Down We Go is right!

Let’s start with the highs of bipolar mania, shall we? Imagine your brain as a pinball machine on steroids, ricocheting from one grandiose idea to the next with the force of a supernova. Every neuron is firing PURE GOLD, you’re a veritable fountain of creativity, spewing out ambitious plans and innovative concepts like a deranged Dr. Seuss on crack. The energy is intoxicating, the possibilities endless, and you’re ready to conquer the world with your sheer force of will (and maybe a touch of delusion).

But just as you’re revving up to change the course of human history, fibromyalgia comes crashing in like a drunk party guest, often giving you the coordination of one as well. Suddenly, every movement feels like you’re being stabbed by a thousand tiny knives, and even the simple act of getting out of bed becomes a Herculean feat of endurance. It’s like your body is actively sabotaging your mind’s grand schemes, leaving you to navigate the treacherous waters of creativity while battling a constant companion of pain and fatigue.

And just when you thought things couldn’t get any more chaotic, ADHD decides to join the party, bringing its own special brand of chaos to the mix. Suddenly, your pinball brain is not only ricocheting from one idea to the next but also careening off in a million different directions at once. Focusing on a single task becomes a Sisyphean struggle, as your attention span rivals that of a caffeinated toddler on a sugar high. (I’m really pleased with how that graphic came out. Thats right folks, I pick something for each paragraph and find and customize it myself, I’m a nerd lol)

But fear not, my fellow warriors, for we are nothing if not resilient AF. We may be a hot mess of contradictions, but we’re also a force to be reckoned with when it comes to navigating this twisted labyrinth of creativity and challenges.

First and foremost, self-awareness is key. We’ve got to learn to recognize the signs and symptoms of each condition, so we can manage them like the badass bosses we are. When the mania starts veering towards impulsivity, it’s time to rein that shit in. When the fibromyalgia pain is threatening to derail our productivity, we adapt and conquer.

Next up, we’ve got to embrace our creative outlets while setting some damn boundaries. Sure, we’re bursting with ideas and ambitions, but we’ve also got to break that shit down into manageable steps. Bite-sized chunks of creativity, if you will, that our ADHD brains can actually focus on without getting distracted by the next shiny object that catches our eye.

And let’s not forget the importance of taking care of our physical and mental health, shall we? Proper rest, nutrition, and exercise can work wonders in mitigating the symptoms of both fibromyalgia and ADHD. Throw in some mindfulness practices like meditation and yoga, and we might just achieve a semblance of inner peace amidst the chaos.

But let’s be real, we can’t do this shit alone. That’s why we’ve got to enlist the help of professionals – therapists, specialists, and anyone else who can help us navigate this twisted labyrinth of conditions. They’re like our own personal Sherpas, guiding us through the treacherous terrain of our own minds and bodies.

At the end of the day, living with bipolar mania, fibromyalgia, and ADHD is a fucking testament to our resilience and strength. We’re a bunch of creative badasses who refuse to let our challenges define us. Sure, it’s a wild ride filled with ups, downs, and more twists and turns than a soap opera plot line, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. So let’s embrace the complexity, embody the resilience, and keep on creating our own unique brand of chaos – one delightfully twisted day at a time. Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other!

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The Circus In My Head… A Manic Shitshow of Thoughts…

JoLeave a comment

I don’t hide where I’m at, smack dab in the middle of a mixed episode and HATING my brain SO MUCH. My mania is making me feel like I don’t have a brain in my head, I can’t retain anything. Imagine your brain is a circus, and the clowns are on a fucking bender. That’s what it’s like living with this bipolar bullshit, especially during these delightful episodes. My mind goes into hyperdrive, spewing out ideas faster than a fucking fire hose. It’s a shitshow, I tell ya.

When the mania hits, it’s like someone cracked open a can of crazy in my skull. Thoughts come barreling in like a herd of rabid elephants, trampling over any semblance of sanity. Business plans, artistic endeavors, get-rich-quick schemes—you name it, my brain vomits it out in rapid-fire succession. It’s a damn three-ring fuckery of creativity and chaos.

The ideas keep coming, faster than I can process them. It’s like trying to catch a swarm of angry bees with a butterfly net. By the time I’ve grasped one brilliant concept, ten more have already buzzed off into the ether. Some are pure gold, others are just steaming piles of shit, but who has the time to sort it all out?

In the midst of this mental maelstrom, I inevitably drop the ball. Brilliant ideas slip through the cracks, overshadowed by the constant barrage of thoughts. It’s like trying to pick out a needle in a haystack made of needles. Frustrating as hell, let me tell ya.
Sometimes, I’ll have a moment of clarity, a flash of pure genius that could change the world. But by the time I’ve finished patting myself on the back, that stroke of brilliance has already been flushed down the toilet of my mind, lost forever in the swirling vortex of mania.

So, how do I deal with this shitstorm of thoughts? Well, I’ve tried journaling, but half the time, I can’t even read my own damn handwriting. Routines and schedules? Yeah, right, like that’s gonna tame this wild beast of a brain. Nah, my coping strategy is simple: embrace the chaos, ride the wave of insanity, and hope I don’t drown in the process.

Look, living with bipolar disorder is a fucking rollercoaster ride through the depths of hell and the heights of mania. The racing thoughts are just one twisted loop in this crazy-ass journey. But you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sure, it’s a shitshow, but it’s my shitshow, and I’m gonna own it with all the creative, energetic moxy and humor I can muster.
So, buckle up, folks, and get ready for the ride of your life. It’s gonna be a wild one, but at least we’ll have a few laughs along the way. And who knows? Maybe amidst all the chaos, I’ll stumble upon the next million-dollar idea. Or maybe I’ll just end up talking to myself in a padded room. Either way, it’s gonna be one hell of a fucking adventure. Buckle up! Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other.

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Help From My Friends, yes YOU!

JoLeave a comment

Alright, listen up you badass warriors battling chronic health issues! We’re about to get real about why having a solid support system is crucial for not losing your fucking mind.

First off, let’s be honest – chronic health conditions are a colossal pain in the ass, both physically and emotionally. One minute you’re cruising along, feeling like you’ve got a handle on this whole “life” thing, and the next, your body is pulling some straight-up sabotage moves that leave you feeling like a hot mess express. That’s where your support squad comes in – those ride-or-die homies who get it, empathize with your situation, and offer the kind of emotional support that’s better than any overpriced therapy session.

But it’s not just about the warm fuzzies, folks. Your support system is also a lifeline when it comes to practical shit. Need someone to help with daily tasks that suddenly feel like climbing Mount Everest? Bam, your crew’s got your back. Need a ride to yet another doctor’s appointment where you’ll inevitably be poked and prodded like a human pin-cushion? Your support squad is there to chauffeur your ass and make sure you don’t get lost in the labyrinth of the medical-industrial complex. Not to mention the opportunity for some EPIC road trips!

Speaking of navigating that shitshow, having a support network can be a game-changer when it comes to knowledge and information. Chances are, someone in your crew has been through a similar health struggle or knows someone who has, which means they’ve got insider intel on treatments, therapies, and coping strategies that could make your life a whole lot easier. It’s like having a cheat code for managing your condition without having to spend hours scouring the depths of WebMD and scaring the crap out of yourself.

But wait, there’s more! Being part of a supportive community isn’t just about the practical perks – it’s also a lifeline for your mental health. Chronic health issues can be a lonely, isolating journey, especially when the people around you just don’t get it. Having a crew of fellow warriors who’ve been there, done that, and got the battle scars to prove it? That’s the kind of solidarity and mutual understanding that can make you feel like you’re not alone in this shitshow.

And let’s not forget the most important benefit of all: a support system can be the ultimate confidence booster and source of resilience. Dealing with chronic health issues often means navigating complex healthcare systems, advocating for your needs, and persevering through setbacks that would make even the toughest badass want to throw in the towel. But with your crew in your corner, cheering you on and reminding you of your inner strength, you’ll be unstoppable. It’s like having your own personal hype squad, but instead of cheering you on at a lame sporting event, they’re helping you slay the dragon that is chronic illness.

So, to all you warriors out there battling chronic health issues, remember: building and nurturing a solid support system isn’t just a nice-to-have – it’s a fucking necessity. Surround yourself with people who get it, lift you up, and remind you that you’re a total badass, even on your worst days. Because at the end of the day, having that crew in your corner might just be the secret weapon you need to conquer this shitshow and come out on top. Thats why we need to come together guys, this sick nonsense can be tackled alone but shouldn’t. Reach out. Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other!

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The fine line when you’re your own worst enemy

JoLeave a comment

Ah, the never-ending battle between self-care and self-sabotage – a war as ancient as time itself, and one that leaves us feeling like we’re constantly stuck in a deranged game of tug-of-war with our own psyche. Strap in, sunshine, because we’re about to dive headfirst into this delightful clusterfuck of contradictions.

On one side of the ring, we have self-care – that elusive state of being where we’re supposed to treat ourselves like precious little snowflakes, indulging in face masks, bubble baths, and all sorts of other bougie bullshit. And on the other side, we have self-sabotage – that devious little voice in our heads that whispers sweet nothings like, “Fuck it, let’s order an entire pizza and binge-watch trashy reality TV until our eyes bleed.” (Though if you indulge in this pass time on occasion its not sabotage, its critical to have some time to just not care for a few minutes but you get my meaning)

Now, in a perfect world, we’d all be able to find that magical sweet spot where we’re simultaneously treating ourselves like royalty and also not completely derailing our lives with reckless abandon. But let’s be real, that’s about as likely as spotting a unicorn dabbing under the full moon. (not this one, this is George’s friend Carl, he’s just doing me a favor lol)

Instead, we find ourselves ping-ponging between these two extremes, one minute basking in the glow of our own self-love, and the next, spiraling down a rabbit hole of poor life choices and regret. It’s like our brains are hardwired to sabotage any semblance of balance we manage to achieve, just to keep things interesting (or to torture us, who knows?).

Take, for instance, that time you decided to treat yourself to a luxurious spa day, complete with a full-body massage and a fancy-schmancy facial. You emerged feeling like a million bucks, ready to conquer the world with your newfound zen. But then, like a cruel twist of fate, you found yourself elbow-deep in a family-sized bag of chips, binge-watching “The Bachelor” until the wee hours of the morning, undoing all that self-care goodness in one fell swoop.

But fear not, my fellow self-care warriors! For in this endless cycle of indulgence and self-destruction, there lies a glimmer of hope – a path to that elusive equilibrium, if you’re willing to embrace the chaos. First and foremost, ditch the all-or-nothing mentality. Self-care isn’t a destination; it’s a journey filled with detours, pit stops, and the occasional wrong turn. Embrace the fact that you’re going to stumble, fall, and maybe even face-plant into a pile of your own poor decisions from time to time. It’s all part of the process, baby.

Next, I CANNOT stress this enough, learn to laugh at your own ridiculousness. Even when its not funny, even if you are the only one laughing. When you find yourself knee-deep in a pint of ice cream, having just binged an entire season of “Bridgerton” in one sitting, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, embrace the absurdity of the situation, and revel in the fact that you’re a delightfully flawed human being, capable of both self-love and self-destruction in equal measure.

Finally, remember that balance is a myth perpetuated by those who have yet to experience the true joy of embracing their inner chaos. With any of the ailments you are going to find additional obstacles to inner harmony.

– For those on the autism spectrum, sensory processing differences and difficulties with emotional regulation can make traditional self-care activities like meditation or relaxation techniques extremely challenging. At the same time, autistic burnout from masking and societal demands heightens the risk of self-sabotaging behaviors as a coping mechanism.

-Fibromyalgia’s chronic pain and fatigue create physical barriers to self-care, while the condition’s cognitive impacts like brain fog can derail routines, inadvertently enabling self-sabotage.
In bipolar disorder, the depressive and manic episodes inherently disrupt self-care routines. During manic phases, impulsivity and risk-taking behaviors verge into self-sabotage. Conversely, the lethargy of depressive periods makes basic self-care feel insurmountable. 

-Those with ADHD frequently struggle with self-care due to executive function challenges around planning, initiating tasks, and sustaining routines. Their propensity for hyperfocus can lead to cycles of self sabotage by neglecting their needs and responsibilities.

Across all these conditions, self-care is crucial yet enormously difficult. The mental and physical demands create a high risk of self-sabotaging behaviors, even when the intention is self-preservation. Establishing compassionate, sustainable self-care practices tailored to the specific needs of each diagnosis is vital for disrupting patterns of burnout and self-destruction. Lifestyle adjustments, therapy, medication, and strong support systems are often needed to strike that elusive self-care/self-sabotage balance.



So, go ahead, indulge in that face mask, but don’t be afraid to follow it up with a night of reckless abandon. Treat yourself to that fancy workout class, but don’t beat yourself up if you end up skipping a few sessions in favor of a Netflix binge. Til next time, take care of yourself gang, and each other!

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Is it blindness if we choose not to see it?

JoLeave a comment

Tonight lets talk about something SUPER fun for people who are NORMAL procrastinators, or people who are just chronically punctual, this shit makes my eye twitch. I want to be on time, but I am ALWAYS either embarrassingly early or unforgivably late, I just can’t find a way to strike a happy medium. I was surprised to learn of the other ways time blindness presents itself in my life, its not just about not being on time. So lets dive into the wild world of time blindness. You know, that delightful phenomenon where your brain treats the concept of time like a cruel joke? Yeah, for those of us with autism or ADHD, keeping track of the chronological flow of existence is about as easy as herding cats on meth.

Let’s start with our autistic homies. For them, time blindness can manifest in a few gloriously confusing ways:
First up, we’ve got the struggle to grasp the very concept of past, present, and future. It’s like the abstract notion of time is an ancient language only understood by neurotypical scholars. “What do you mean, this moment won’t last forever? Blasphemy!”

Then there’s the complete obliviousness to how much damn time has passed. You could be happily stimming away, lost in your own little world, only to emerge hours later wondering where the hell the day went. Time? What’s that? A construct created by the neurotypical elite to oppress us?

And let’s not forget the sacred routines. Stray from the schedule even a smidgen, and it’s like the world is ending. Spontaneity? Never heard of her. Rigidity and predictability are our jam, thank you very much.

But wait, there’s more! Our ADHD brethren also get to experience the joys of time blindness in their own unique ways:

Impulsivity and time management? What a delightful oxymoron! Thinking ahead and considering consequences is for the weak. We prefer to live life on the edge, making split-second decisions without a care for that pesky thing called “time.”

Procrastination is our middle name. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow, next week, or maybe even next year? Prioritizing tasks and meeting deadlines is so overrated when you could be hyperfocusing on reorganizing your sock drawer instead.

Speaking of hyperfocus, that’s another fun ADHD party trick. One minute you’re trying to be a productive member of society, the next you’re utterly consumed by whatever random interest has captured your brain’s fleeting attention. Time? What’s that again?

At the end of the day, both autism and ADHD involve executive function challenges that make time management about as easy as walking a tightrope while juggling chainsaws. But hey, at least we’re keeping things interesting, right?So embrace the time blindness, folks. Lean into the chaos and confusion. After all, who needs to follow the neurotypical construct of time when you can march to the beat of your own delightfully disordered drum? Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other!

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Auditory Processing Issues, AKA ‘wait… what?’

JoLeave a comment

Part of coming back from the abyss that has been so difficult for me is this new thing, that I’m told is common after head injuries, strokes, blood loss, high fever, basically a LOT, is something called Auditory Processing difficulties, and I’ve since learned thats also something ADHD-ers and Autism sufferers sometimes experience it as well. I will say for me, this mainly presents as I can look at you talking and forget what you are saying before you are even done saying it. Now a lot of times, I’ll ask a question to be 100% clear that I understood it, and you will get irritated thinking I wasnt paying attention, but its as if its just on a delay, my brain IS listening and it knows something important is being said, it just takes a minute to translate it to English from Galifreyan (Dr Who reference for nerds like me but if you are unfamiliar substitute any alien language). Its annoying to me just as much as it is to the person I am talking to, maybe more so for me because I know I’m not dumb so why do I need to be talked to like I’m 12 for me to process it?

So what are Auditory Processing difficulties? Auditory processing difficulties are like having trouble with how your brain understands and makes sense of the things you hear, even though your ears work fine. It’s sort of like trying to listen to someone talk when there’s a lot of background noise – it can be hard to pick out the words and understand what’s being said. People with auditory processing issues might struggle to follow conversations, remember spoken instructions, or tell the difference between similar sounds. These difficulties can make it challenging to learn, communicate, and engage in everyday activities that involve listening.

Imagine you’re in a noisy restaurant, and your friend is telling you a story. While you can hear their voice just fine, the background noise makes it incredibly challenging to follow the narrative. You keep missing crucial details or misinterpreting what they’re saying, even though you’re trying your best to focus. This is similar to the experience of someone with AP issues, where filtering out background noise and isolating the important sounds is a constant struggle.

Another example could be trying to follow a set of verbal instructions. Let’s say someone tells you, “First, take the blue folder from the cabinet, then make three copies of the document inside, and finally, staple them together.” For someone with AP issues, the order of these steps might get jumbled in their brain, leading them to make copies first, then retrieve the folder, and potentially forget the stapling part altogether.

Auditory memory is also affected in AP issues, making it challenging to remember things that were said, even just moments ago. This can be particularly problematic in classroom settings, where a student with AP issues might struggle to recall the teacher’s instructions or retain information from lectures or discussions.

In some cases, AP issues can also impact language development and comprehension. A child with problems with AP might have trouble learning nursery rhymes, songs, or even their own name, as the sounds and syllables get jumbled in their brain. This can lead to delays in speech and language acquisition, as well as difficulties with reading and writing later on.

It’s important to note that we are not talking about a hearing impairment and its important to get everything checked out when you start to notice these issues as they CAN be indicative of other more serious problem, or a neurological condition that affects how the brain processes and interprets auditory information. While there is no cure for AP issues, early intervention and specialized therapies can help individuals develop strategies to manage their symptoms and improve their auditory processing abilities.

There are some tips that can help this be more manageable:
1. Minimize background noise and improve acoustics
2. Use visual aids and cues  NOTES ARE MY BEST FRIENDS, I am never without a pen.
3. Use a recorder- even a notes app on your phone will work.
4. Always check that you are understanding and being understood. Its easiest to ask and repeat it to yourself
5. Know your weaknesses, if this is one of them, being upfront with save everyone headaches when you find something that works for everyone involved.

Be patient and supportive guys, believe me, most of the time these people are more frustrated with themselves than you are. You never know, this is incredibly hard to deal with if someone is struggling with it and then aware that everyone is getting irritated at the clarifying questions, the person won’t ask the questions, shit will get done wrong, and everyone suffers. Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other!

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ADHD Paralysis: When Even Your To-Do List Needs a Nap

JoLeave a comment

I know this happens with several different conditions, so I wanted to address it but it seems most prevalent with ADHD, so tonight we are diving into ADHD paralysis.

So who’s been here you know those moments when you’re supposed to be doing something important, but your brain decides to take an impromptu siesta instead? Yeah, that’s the wild world of ADHD paralysis in all its glory. It’s like your brain is a computer running too many damn programs at once, and suddenly, everything just crashes into a flaming pile of fuck-it-all.

Picture this nonsense: You’ve got a mountain of work to tackle, deadlines looming like hungry wolves at the door. But instead of diving in like a reasonable human being, you find yourself staring blankly at the screen, lost in a vortex of distraction and self-loathing. That’s ADHD paralysis in its full, unfiltered glory. It’s that frustrating feeling of being simultaneously overwhelmed and underwhelmed by the simplest of tasks, like your brain is playing a cruel joke on you.

For another example: You need to clean your damn room. Sounds easy enough, right? Wrong, you sweet summer child. For the ADHD brain, cleaning isn’t just a chore; it’s a Herculean feat requiring divine intervention and a partridge in a pear tree. You start with the best intentions, but then suddenly find yourself engrossed in a forgotten childhood photo album, three hours deep into a nostalgia spiral, and your room still looks like a tornado hit it after a night of binge drinking.

But fear not, my fellow hot messes, for there are ways to combat this sneaky paralysis and emerge victorious (or at least semi-functional). First off, embrace the power of breaking tasks into bite-sized chunks. Instead of staring down the behemoth of “clean the entire fucking apartment,” start with something manageable like “put away the dishes” or “tackle Mount Laundry, you filthy animal.”

Next up, leverage the magic of timers and alarms. Set yourself a time limit for each task, preferably with a snazzy countdown soundtrack to keep things interesting. It’s amazing how much more motivated you can become when you’re racing against the clock (even if you’re just racing against your own tendency to get distracted by shiny objects and squirrels, no offense George!).

Now, here’s a tip: Don’t be afraid to call in reinforcements, you stubborn as. Whether it’s a supportive friend, understanding family member, or a professional who specializes in wrangling ADHD brains, there’s no shame in asking for help. In fact, sometimes a fresh perspective or a gentle (or not-so-gentle) nudge in the right direction is all it takes to break free from the paralysis and get back on track. Let your loved ones know when you’re stuck in that funk, and let them be your lifeline to sanity and productivity.

And for all you wonderful, well-meaning loved ones! If you want to help someone with ADHD without turning into a helicopter parent or a nagging pain in the ass, here’s the lowdown: First, educate yourself about ADHD and its symptoms so you actually know what the hell you’re dealing with. Then, practice patience and understanding – remember, they’re not trying to piss you off on purpose. Help them set up organizational strategies like calendars and checklists, but don’t micromanage every damn thing. Encourage self-care and breaks when they’re overwhelmed, and most importantly, be their cheerleader. Positive reinforcement can work wonders. And for the love of all things holy, listen without judgment. Create a safe space for them to express their frustrations and emotions. Your support can make a world of difference without smothering their progress.

So there you have it, folks: a crash course in ADHD paralysis, served with a side of humor and a dollop of hope (and a whole lot of swears). Remember, you’re not alone in this wacky adventure called life with ADHD. With a bit of patience, perseverance, and maybe a strategically placed sticky note or two, you can conquer the paralysis and emerge triumphant. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a room to clean… or at least attempt to clean before getting distracted by the latest internet rabbit hole (or a mischievous but well meaning squirrel!) Til next time gang, take care of yourself and each other!