(Inductees Chosen for Outstanding Contributions to Missing the Point)
There are two kinds of advice in the world:
Useful.
Enthusiastically useless.
Today, we honor the second category.
Welcome to the Unhelpful Advice Hall of Fame — a carefully curated collection of statements that have survived decades despite helping absolutely no one.
Please hold your applause. Or don’t. It won’t change anything.
🏆 Inductee #1: “Have you tried yoga?”
Yes.
I have also tried stretching, resting, hydration, optimism, and briefly considering becoming a houseplant.
Yoga is lovely. It is not a firmware update for my nervous system.
Next.
🏆 Inductee #2: “You just need to push through it.”
Ah yes. The classic strategy of overriding biology with vibes.
If “pushing through” worked long-term, no one would burn out. No one would flare. No one would collapse two days later wondering why their body sent them a strongly worded letter.
I don’t lack effort. I lack unlimited reserves.
🏆 Inductee #3: “Everyone gets tired.”
Correct.
And everyone gets hungry. That doesn’t make famine a personality flaw.
There is a difference between “I stayed up too late” tired and “my cells are filing a union complaint” tired.
We can respect nuance.
🏆 Inductee #4: “You’re too young to feel this way.”
I wasn’t aware age functioned as a warranty.
Bodies are not cars. There is no mileage-based fairness system. If there were, I’d like to speak to management.
🏆 Inductee #5: “You just need to think positive.”
I do think positive thoughts.
I also think realistic ones.
Positivity is not a structural support beam. It’s a throw pillow. Decorative. Occasionally helpful. Not load-bearing.
🏆 Inductee #6: “At least it’s not worse.”
This one wins for optimism with a side of existential dread.
You’re right. It could always be worse.
It could also be better.
We don’t have to race to the bottom to validate discomfort.
🏆 Inductee #7: “Maybe it’s stress.”
Maybe.
And maybe stress is also a biological event, not a moral weakness.
Also, if the solution to stress were “simply relax,” the spa industry would have ended human suffering by now.
🏆 Inductee #8: “Have you tried cutting out gluten/dairy/sugar/joy?”
I appreciate the commitment to dietary experimentation.
However, if eliminating bread were the cure for complex medical conditions, Italy would not exist.
🏆 Inductee #9: “But you look fine.”
Thank you. I moisturize.
Looking fine is not the same as being fine. Packaging can be deceiving. Ask any online order I’ve ever received.
🏆 Inductee #10: “You just need more discipline.”
If discipline cured chronic illness, high-achievers would be immortal.
Sometimes the issue isn’t willpower. It’s capacity. And capacity does not respond to shame-based motivational speeches.
Honorable Mention: Silence
Sometimes the most helpful response is:
“That sounds hard.”
No fix. No pivot. No silver lining.
Just acknowledgment.
It turns out being believed is far more effective than being optimized.
If you’ve ever nodded politely while mentally nominating someone for this Hall of Fame, you’re not ungrateful. You’re tired.
Advice is easy. Listening is harder.
And if nothing else, at least we can laugh — carefully, responsibly, with proper hydration — about the fact that some phrases will apparently outlive us all. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!
I live in a time zone most people don’t know exists. It doesn’t follow clocks, calendars, or common sense. It does follow pain levels, fatigue spikes, and whether my nervous system has decided today is a “no thoughts, just vibes” kind of day.
Welcome to Fibromyalgia Time.
1. Five Minutes Can Take an Hour
In Fibromyalgia Time, a “quick task” is a bold lie.
Showering
Getting dressed
Answering one email
Each looks like it should take five minutes. In reality, it includes:
A rest break
A mental pep talk
Forgetting what you were doing
Another rest break
Time stretches when pain shows up, and shrinks when energy disappears.
2. “Later” Is a Vague Concept at Best
When I say “I’ll do it later,” I don’t mean today. I also don’t mean tomorrow. I mean when my body allows it.
Fibromyalgia doesn’t run on deadlines. It runs on:
Pain levels
Brain fog density
How hard my nervous system is spiraling
Later is not procrastination. It’s symptom-based scheduling.
3. Energy Expires Without Warning
Normal time assumes energy is steady.
Fibromyalgia Time says:
“Surprise! You had a 30-minute window and didn’t know it.”
You can wake up feeling okay and hit empty before lunch. You can plan carefully and still lose the day by 2 p.m.
Energy doesn’t taper. It vanishes. And when it’s gone, the clock stops mattering.
4. Recovery Time Is Not Predictable
In normal time, rest has a formula:
Do thing → Rest → Feel better
In Fibromyalgia Time:
Do thing → Rest → Still tired → Still tired → Still tired → Why am I still tired?
Recovery isn’t linear. Sometimes a nap helps. Sometimes it does nothing. Sometimes it makes things worse because now you’re groggy and in pain.
5. Past Me and Present Me Are Not the Same Person
Fibromyalgia Time has no memory continuity.
Past Me:
Made plans
Overestimated capacity
Was wildly optimistic
Present Me:
Is negotiating with joints
Has three spoons left
Is offended by Past Me’s confidence
Canceling plans isn’t flakiness — it’s time travel without consent.
6. The Clock Keeps Moving Even When I Can’t
This is the cruelest part.
The world doesn’t pause when your body does. Bills are still due. Appointments still exist. Expectations don’t magically adjust.
Fibromyalgia Time moves slower inside your body — but faster everywhere else. That disconnect is exhausting all by itself.
7. Productivity Happens in Weird Bursts
Fibromyalgia doesn’t believe in steady output.
Instead you get:
Sudden bursts of “must do everything NOW”
Followed by complete shutdown
It’s not a lack of motivation. It’s a nervous system that dumps all available energy at once and then clocks out.
8. Rest Is Not Wasted Time (Even If It Looks Like It)
In normal time, rest is a reward.
In Fibromyalgia Time, rest is maintenance.
Lying down isn’t laziness. Doing less isn’t failure. Pausing is how you stay functional at all.
The clock might say you did “nothing,” but your body knows better.
9. Fibromyalgia Time Requires Translation
“Just five more minutes” “Can you hurry?” “It won’t take that long”
These phrases assume a shared timeline.
We’re not on the same clock — and that’s not a moral failing. It’s a medical reality.
10. Surviving Fibromyalgia Means Redefining Time Entirely
Success isn’t measured in hours worked or tasks completed.
In Fibromyalgia Time, success looks like:
Listening to your body
Stopping before you crash
Adjusting expectations without self-blame
You’re not behind. You’re just operating in a different time zone — one that requires patience, flexibility, and a whole lot of self-compassion.
Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.
Cold doesn’t just make things uncomfortable. It changes how my body functions.
When temperatures drop, my muscles tighten automatically, my joints stiffen faster, my pain threshold lowers, and my nervous system shifts into protection mode. Even before I move, my body is already bracing — like it’s expecting something bad to happen.
What helps: I warm my body before I ask anything of it. Heat isn’t a treat, it’s a prerequisite. Heating pads, hot showers, warm drinks — anything that tells my nervous system it’s safe enough to stand down.
Cold also makes my muscles stay clenched — especially my shoulders, neck, hips, and lower back. That constant tension creates soreness that doesn’t feel earned and doesn’t go away with rest alone.
What helps: Targeted warmth and gentle movement. Not “bundling up,” but keeping the parts that guard the most actively warm. Slow stretching or light movement early prevents stiffness instead of fighting it later.
In winter, everything costs more energy. Getting dressed hurts more. Moving hurts more. Thinking hurts more. By noon, I’m exhausted and I haven’t even done anything impressive.
What helps: I move earlier and smaller. A little motion before the stiffness sets in keeps my body from locking up. This isn’t exercise — it’s lubrication. Waiting until later usually means paying interest.
Cold doesn’t just affect my body — it stresses my nervous system. That means higher pain, lower tolerance, and less emotional bandwidth, even if nothing “bad” is happening.
What helps: I treat cold days like high-stress days. Fewer plans. Fewer decisions. More quiet. Less pressure to perform. If my nervous system is already taxed, I don’t pile more on top of it.
Winter also messes with expectations. I want to function the same way I do in warmer months, and my body refuses. That gap between expectation and reality is where frustration lives.
What helps: I lower the bar before I hit it. Winter isn’t the season for pushing limits — it’s the season for pacing. Needing more support when the environment is harsher isn’t regression. It’s adaptation.
Cold doesn’t mean I’m failing. It means my body is responding to stress the way it was built to.
Winter raises the difficulty level — and I’m allowed to adjust how I play the game. Til next time guys, take care of yourselves, and each other.
When people hear “fibromyalgia,” they usually think of pain — aching joints, sore muscles, that constant feeling like you overdid it yesterday even when you didn’t. Pain is part of it, yes. But for many people with fibromyalgia, fatigue is the symptom that quietly dismantles daily life.
This isn’t the kind of tired that goes away with a good night’s sleep or a strong cup of coffee. Fibromyalgia fatigue is persistent, physical, and rooted in how the nervous system functions.
Common Fibromyalgia Symptoms (Beyond Pain)
Fibromyalgia is a multisystem condition, not a single-symptom diagnosis. Common symptoms include:
Chronic widespread musculoskeletal pain
Ongoing fatigue
Non-restorative sleep (waking up unrefreshed)
Cognitive difficulties (“fibro fog”)
Sensitivity to light, sound, temperature, or touch
Headaches or migraines
Gastrointestinal issues (often overlapping with IBS)
Muscle stiffness, especially in the morning
Mood changes linked to nervous system stress
Not everyone experiences every symptom, and severity can fluctuate — sometimes daily, sometimes hourly.
What Makes Fibromyalgia Fatigue Different?
Fibromyalgia fatigue isn’t simply being tired from doing too much. It’s tied to central sensitization, a process in which the brain and spinal cord become overly reactive.
In simple terms:
The nervous system stays partially “on alert”
Pain signals are amplified
The body burns energy just maintaining baseline function
Even rest can require effort when the system responsible for regulating stress, pain, and recovery isn’t working efficiently.
Think of it like running multiple background apps you can’t close. The battery drains faster — even on low activity.
Mayo Clinic explains that people with fibromyalgia commonly experience fatigue and disrupted sleep, noting that individuals often wake up tired even after sleeping for a long time, as pain and related sleep disorders can interfere with rest. Mayo Clinic
Why Sleep Doesn’t Fix Fibromyalgia Fatigue
One of the most frustrating aspects of fibromyalgia is that sleep doesn’t reliably restore energy.
Research shows that people with fibromyalgia often experience:
Disrupted sleep architecture
Reduced time in deep, restorative sleep stages
Alpha-wave intrusion during sleep, keeping the brain partially alert
Frequent micro-arousals caused by pain or nervous system activity
This means someone can be unconscious for eight hours and still wake up feeling unrefreshed, stiff, and exhausted.
Sleep happens — but rest doesn’t fully occur.
Sleep research indicates that people with fibromyalgia often experience abnormal sleep patterns, such as reduced deep sleep and brain activity resembling wakefulness during sleep stages, which helps explain why rest does not always feel restorative. Sleep Foundation
The Role of the Nervous System
Fibromyalgia is increasingly understood as a disorder of nervous system regulation, not muscle damage or inflammation alone.
When the nervous system struggles to downshift:
Muscles remain tense
Pain signals remain elevated
Stress hormones like cortisol can become dysregulated
Energy recovery is impaired
This is why fatigue in fibromyalgia often feels disproportionate to activity levels — and why pushing through it usually backfires.
Why “Just Rest More” Misses the Point
Well-meaning advice like “get more sleep” or “listen to your body” often falls short because it assumes the system responsible for rest is functioning normally.
In fibromyalgia:
Rest helps, but it’s not a cure
Sleep matters, but it’s not always restorative
Energy management requires strategy, not willpower
Understanding this difference matters — medically, socially, and personally.
The Bottom Line
Fibromyalgia fatigue is not laziness, lack of motivation, or deconditioning. It’s a nervous system issue that affects how the body processes pain, stress, sleep, and recovery.
Recognizing fatigue as a core symptom — not a side effect — is essential to understanding what living with fibromyalgia actually looks like.
Because when the system itself is misfiring, exhaustion isn’t a failure. It’s feedback. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!
When your energy comes with an expiration date, every choice becomes strategic.
We all know spoon theory. But let’s be real—most of the advice assumes you’re managing your energy for your own activities. What happens when you can’t just “rest when you need to” because someone else depends on you for dinner, rides, and emotional regulation? When your autistic teenager needs consistency but your fibromyalgia is flaring? When your ADHD brain forgot to save energy for the evening routine, but bedtime still has to happen?
I’m not trying to be a saint here—I’m trying to survive until bedtime without completely falling apart. And that requires a different kind of energy strategy than the basic spoon theory tutorials assume.
The Complex Reality: When Multiple Conditions Collide
These are my dancin spoons
Here’s what the basic spoon theory explanations miss: When you’re managing fibromyalgia, ADHD, and bipolar disorder simultaneously, your spoons aren’t just limited—they’re unpredictable.
My ADHD brain might hyperfocus and blow through six spoons organizing one closet. A bipolar mood shift can drain spoons faster than a phone with a cracked screen drains battery. And fibromyalgia? It’s like having a fluctuating baseline that changes without warning.
Add parenting an autistic teenager to the mix, and you’re not just managing your own energy—you’re strategically allocating it so everyone gets what they need, including you still being a functioning human by 8 PM. (Well I never claim to be a functioning human any time after 5 lol)
This isn’t about being selfless. It’s about being smart enough to pace yourself so you don’t crash and burn, leaving everyone (including yourself) worse off.
The Science Behind Why We Run Out of Spoons
Research backs up what we’ve always known: fibromyalgia isn’t just “feeling tired.” Studies show people with fibromyalgia experience disrupted sleep, increased pain sensitivity, and central sensitization—basically, our nervous systems are stuck in overdrive.
Key Research Findings:
Fibromyalgia and Central Sensitization: The National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal Diseases confirms fibromyalgia affects how the brain processes pain signals, leading to widespread pain and fatigue.
Sleep Disruption: 75–90% of people with fibromyalgia experience sleep disorders, creating a vicious cycle where pain disrupts sleep and poor sleep worsens pain.
ADHD and Executive Function: ADHD impacts energy regulation through executive dysfunction, making pacing activities harder.
But here’s what medical literature doesn’t capture: what happens when you can’t just “listen to your body” and rest whenever you need because someone else is counting on you?
Energy Pacing: The Research-Backed Strategy That Actually Works
The good news? There’s solid research supporting strategies beyond “just rest more.” Activity pacing is designed for people who can’t just stop when they’re tired.
Key Research Findings:
Activity Pacing Works: A 2023 systematic review found pacing—regulating activity to avoid post-exertional crashes—is one of the most effective strategies for chronic fatigue conditions.
Better Than Boom-Bust: People who learn pacing techniques report significantly improved quality of life compared to those who push through until they crash.
The Energy Envelope: Research shows staying within your “energy envelope” prevents the crash-and-burn cycle that leaves you useless for days.
The key insight? It’s not about doing less—it’s about doing things more strategically so you can sustain your energy over time.
My Real-Life Strategic Energy System
The Morning Energy Assessment
Every morning, I do a quick reality check: How’s my pain? Did I sleep? Is my brain foggy? This gives me a realistic count of my available energy for the day. A good day might be 15 units. A flare day? Maybe 8. The key is honesty about what I actually have, not what I wish I had.
The Triage System: Essential vs. Optional
I ruthlessly categorize tasks:
Essential: Medication, meals, safety, school pickup Important: Homework, emotional check-ins, sensory accommodations Optional: Fancy meals, deep cleaning, being the “fun mom”
On low-energy days, I focus only on essentials. My teen knows that sometimes we operate in “basic functioning mode,” and that’s just life—not failure. I have learned I am terrible at categorizing though lol.
The 80% Rule
Research shows staying within your “energy envelope” prevents crashes. For me, this means spending no more than 80% of my energy by 3 PM. Kids still need dinner, and I still need to exist as a person after sundown.
Practical Energy-Saving Strategies That Actually Work
Here’s where theory meets reality. These aren’t pie-in-the-sky ideas—these are battle-tested strategies for functioning for others while managing complex needs.
Batch Processing: Work Smarter, Not Harder
High-energy tasks happen on good days. Maintenance mode on the rest. Strategic, not lazy.
Examples:
Book medical appointments together to reduce recovery time
Meal prep when you’re energized, not hangry
Handle school stuff in batches
Environmental Modifications: Make Your Space Work for You
Our home reduces energy demands on purpose. Essentials are easy to reach, grab bars help, and my teen knows the layout.
Modifications:
Keep essentials within easy reach
Set up “stations” for meds, homework, decompression
Use timers and alarms because our brains aren’t built for mental tabs
The 20-Minute Rule
If it takes longer than 20 minutes, it gets chunked smaller or delegated. This prevents ADHD hyperfocus from burning my whole day’s energy.
When Your Teen Needs to Understand Your Reality
One of the hardest parts? Explaining to my autistic teen why I can’t do something today that I could yesterday. Consistency helps, but clarity wins. She’s gotten better since she goes to school based therapy, I’ve really been proud of her empathy lately.
What works:
Concrete language: “I have 3 energy units left. Dinner needs 2.”
Offer alternatives: “I can’t drive you, but I can order it.”
Honesty: “Energy changes daily. Not your fault or mine.”
Involve them: “How can we make this work with what I’ve got left?”
The Guilt Factor: Why Strategic Rest Isn’t Selfish
It took me years to accept this: protecting my energy isn’t lazy—it’s responsible. Proactive rest keeps me showing up tomorrow.
Saying no to extras isn’t shirking responsibility—it’s saving energy for what truly matters. Operating in “basic functioning mode” is how I keep us afloat without sinking out of stubbornness.
Next Week: Building your support network and emergency energy protocols—because even superheroes need backup plans. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.
Ok gang, let’s get real about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: medical PTSD. If you’ve ever left a doctor’s office feeling dismissed, doubted, or downright defeated, you’re not alone. For those of us with chronic illnesses and invisible conditions like fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder, autism, or ADHD, the healthcare system can feel less like a safety net and more like a minefield.
What Is Medical PTSD?
Medical PTSD is what happens when repeated negative experiences with healthcare providers leave you emotionally scarred. It’s not just about a bad appointment here or there—it’s about the trauma that builds up over time when your pain or symptoms are brushed off as “nothing” or “all in your head.” Spoiler alert: it’s not in your head. For many of us with invisible illnesses, this is an all-too-familiar story. Bloodwork comes back fine? Must be nothing. Physical exam looks normal? You’re probably exaggerating. And suddenly, you’re left questioning your own reality because someone with a stethoscope couldn’t see what you’re feeling every single day. The number of times I’ve left a doctors appointment shaking my head saying ‘well, I mean if it WAS something wouldn’t they see it?’ No, thats not true, some stuff is tricky and it hides behind stuff. Some times you have to poke around at stuff until you figure it out, that doesnt mean things arent there to find.
Truth Bomb: Invisible Doesn’t Mean Imaginary
Here’s the thing: just because something doesn’t show up on a test doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Fibromyalgia doesn’t light up on an X-ray. Bipolar disorder doesn’t leave a trail in your bloodwork. Autism and ADHD don’t come with flashing neon signs saying, “Hey, I’m here!” But that doesn’t make them any less valid—or any less debilitating. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked into an appointment armed with symptom logs, research, and sheer determination, only to be met with raised eyebrows and the dreaded “It’s probably just stress.” Or, ‘well you DO have Fibro’ Oh really? Because last time I checked, Fibromyalgia didn’t cause my hip to stage a full-blown mutiny (looking at you, early retirement hip).
The Emotional Toll of Being Dismissed
Let me paint you a picture: You’re already dealing with chronic pain, fatigue, mood swings—basically the greatest hits of invisible illness. Then you muster up the courage to seek help (because let’s be honest, even making the appointment feels like climbing Everest). You sit there, vulnerable and hopeful, only to be told your symptoms don’t add up or aren’t serious enough to warrant concern.
That kind of dismissal doesn’t just sting—it leaves scars. Over time, it can make you hesitant to seek care at all. Why bother if no one’s going to listen? But here’s the kicker: avoiding care can lead to worsening symptoms and even more complex health issues down the line. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to stop.
Breaking the Cycle: Advocacy and Awareness
So how do we fix this mess? For starters:
Trust Your Gut: If something feels wrong in your body, it probably is. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
Document Everything: Keep a symptom diary so you have concrete evidence to back up your concerns.
Bring Backup: Take a trusted friend or family member to appointments—they can help advocate for you when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Seek Second Opinions: If one doctor dismisses you, find another who will listen. Your health is worth fighting for. Though check with your doctors office or hospital system on policies, my doctor of 7 years dropped me because I got one.
And let’s not forget the role of healthcare providers in this equation. Doctors need better training on invisible illnesses—period. They need to understand that just because they can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. A little empathy goes a long way.
My Own Battle Scars
I’ve got plenty of stories I could share about being dismissed by doctors (and believe me, I will). Like the time I was told my fibro pain was just “overexertion” when I hadn’t done more than shuffle from my bed to the couch all week. Or when my bipolar symptoms were brushed off as “just moodiness” because I happened to be having a good day during my appointment. Yes its about highs and lows but there is so much nuance and theres no way to catalogue each patient’s symptoms into a graph saying which predominant symptom is worse from day to given day, I don’t even know a metric you could rate them on, its just too much. But perhaps the most frustrating moment was when my hip—yes, my actual joint—was screaming for help, and I was told ‘Well, fibro is painful.’ said sincerely with a hand on my shoulder (do not touch a fibro sufferer there and expect to be conveying sympathy or empathy, its like my BIGGEST tender point, which I never mentioned SPECIFICALLY so I let it go, but you wouldnt do that) Spoiler alert: it wasn’t just fibro; it was my hip waving its white flag and demanding replacement parts.
The Bottom Line
Medical PTSD is real, and it’s time we start talking about it. For those of us living with chronic conditions and invisible illnesses, advocating for ourselves isn’t just an option—it’s a necessity. So keep pushing for answers, keep telling your story, and never let anyone make you feel like your pain isn’t valid.Because at the end of the day? We know our bodies better than anyone else ever could. And who can tell your story and explain your pain better than you? Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!
Gather ’round fellow sufferers, for a tale of bodily betrayal that’ll make you laugh, cry, or maybe both – because let’s face it, sometimes that’s all we can do when our parts start throwing in the towel! Welcome to your 40s, folks – that magical decade when your body parts start sending out retirement notices faster than you can say “midlife crisis.” It’s like they all got together for a secret meeting (probably while I was napping – thanks, fibro!) and decided, “Hey, we’ve been busting our butts for decades. Time to clock out and let the young’uns take over.” Now, I’m no stranger to the ol’ body part eviction notice. My colorful past has led to more parts being removed than I care to count. I’m basically a walking “Lost and Found” box at this point. But just when I thought I was done playing Operation with my own body, my hip decides to join the exodus.
There I am, minding my own business (okay, probably complaining about something else hurting, cuz fibro), when BAM! My hip sends in its resignation letter. It’s done. Finito. Sayonara. My hip’s basically like, “Listen, lady, I’ve put in my hours. I’ve carried your sorry ass around for 40+ years. It’s time for me to hang up my hat and enjoy some R&R. Maybe take up golfing or start a hip-hop career. Get it? Hip-hop?”
This trusty joint of mine has been putting in some serious overtime, and let me tell you, it’s been doing it without so much as a coffee break or a “Hip of the Month” plaque. For years, it’s been the unsung hero of my body’s workforce, carrying me through my fibro flare-ups, cat-chasing adventures, and those days when getting out of bed felt like scaling Mount Everest.But somewhere between the thousandth grocery bag lift and the millionth “I swear I’m not limping, I’m just walking with style” stride, my hip started getting a bit… well, hip-ster. It began demanding things like “rest” and “proper alignment” – the nerve! It’s like it suddenly remembered it had rights or something
When it started troubling me I faced the obstacles that are sadly all too familiar to my fellow warriors, I take this new concern to the doctor, it was initially just brushed off with ‘yes fibro is chronic pain’. Then two years after that, with me consistently saying it hurt DIFFERENT than the fibro, she ordered an x-ray since it was such a weird but steadily getting worse pain and the scan showed moderate osteoarthritis. Not curable and one of those ‘just gonna hurt’ pains. Fast forward three years, finaly got another x-ray that reclassified my OA status is severe and severe enough to put me on the hip replacement list. Color me terrified.
Not every pain we have is fibro related. I understand how easy it can be to dismiss our symptoms as ‘just fibro’ or ‘just stress.’ But we know our bodies, and sometimes what feels like one condition is actually something more. Don’t let anyone invalidate your experience. If you feel something isn’t right, advocate for yourself and push for the care you deserve. Our voices matter, and we deserve to be heard when it comes to our health.
So here I am, facing down a hip replacement way too young thanks to fibro, and thanks to the car hitting me when I was walking. Because apparently, I’m an overachiever even when it comes to falling apart. But hey, look on the bright side – at least I’ll have a shiny new bionic part to add to my collection. Maybe I’ll even get a punch card: “10 surgeries and the next one’s free!” I’m probably up to that by now LOL.
The Moment of Truth: Cysts and No Hope for Fixing It
So, what happened next? Oh, just a little something called “The Moment of Truth: Cysts and No Hope for Fixing It
So, what happened next? Oh, just a little something called “subchondral cysts otherwise known as bone cysts.” Because apparently, my body wasn’t just aging gracefully—it decided to throw in some uninvited guests to make things extra fun. The cysts basically sealed the deal. My hip wasn’t just aging out; it was actively failing on me. After an x-ray, my ortho looked at me and said, “Oh honey, this is severe. There’s no saving this one.”
That was it. No shots, (and I had been putting off getting shots for the pain actually, was finally strong enough in my belief that I could do it and I had no more options since I won’t take narcotics) no pills, no more easy fixes. It was time for major surgery—a hip replacement. And honestly? It felt like a bit of a gut punch, but also a relief. I mean, I’d been working with a hip that was basically clocking out without telling me, so now it was time to send it into official retirement.”
Retirement Offer: The Hip Replacement Option
This is where things got real. I thought I could push through, maybe try some shots or other treatments, but nope, that wasn’t going to be enough. The hip sent a strong message that no amount of cortisone was going to keep it in the game any longer. And after consulting with my ortho, we discovered that my old hip wasn’t just tired—it was severe. So, we started the paperwork. A hip replacement is on the horizon.
I look forward to the end of March, that will be near the official day that my hip clocks out for good, and a shiny new joint will step in to take its place. So, What’s Next?
Aging might be inevitable, but a hip replacement can be a total game-changer. And while I’m not thrilled about the process (did I mention I almost passed out twice during the initial consult?), I’m ready to get that shiny new hip and hopefully say goodbye to some of this pain.
Here’s the thing: The body’s not like it used to be in your 20s and 30s when you could run full speed and wake up feeling like you just slept in a cloud. Nope, my body is now sending in its retirement applications early, and I’m here for it—with a little humor and a lot of prep work, of course.
In the upcoming posts, I’ll share more details about what the process actually looks like: from the pre-op checkups to the (probably highly entertaining) recovery phase. So, if you’re someone who’s looking down the barrel of your own hip replacement, or you just want to see how this unfolds (because who doesn’t love a good recovery journey?), stick around! Maybe my hip will send me a post card lol. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves. And each other.
1. Misconception: Fibromyalgia is just “in your head” or not real. Truth: Fibromyalgia is a real, chronic medical condition that affects the central nervous system. It’s characterized by widespread pain, fatigue, and other symptoms that are definitely not imagined. It’s scientifically recognized and impacts both physical and emotional well-being. Science backs us up on this one, folks.
I can sometimes understand why people might not get it—if I’m having a good day and I’m active, I probably look like your average Midwestern mom. I mean, maybe I should just get an “F” tatted on my forehead? I’ve thought about it. The number of doctors who’ve been dismissive of my very real condition is almost as high as the number of people who are shocked when they hear about my bipolar diagnosis. Clearly, they haven’t seen the rapid mood swings or heard me say, “But you’re sad?” to which I’ll reply, “Yes, amazingly, I can be both sad and manic at the same time, and trust me, it’s a million times worse.”
But I digress. Let’s keep up here—it’s 2025, and fibromyalgia has been a diagnosable illness since 1976. Before that, it was known as fibrositis in 1904, and even earlier, it was referred to as rheumatism. I mention this because, although no one knows exactly what causes it, I’ve been diving into my genealogy—yes, I’m a bit of a nerd—and checking birth and death records to compare what I know versus what I think I know. In the process, I’ve noticed that at least six of my direct ancestors had some form of fibro or rheumatism.
Do I think fibromyalgia will kill me? No—honestly, I have more pressing health concerns to worry about—but it’s been around for a long time. If you come across a medical professional who doesn’t think fibro is real, get a second opinion. And just to clarify: I’m talking about someone who doesn’t believe fibro even exists—not someone who doubts it’s what you’re suffering from. I’ll say it again: a second opinion never hurts… though, in my case, I had my doctor of 7 years drop me for getting one. So stay informed, don’t get discouraged, and keep pushing until you get the answers you deserve.
2. Misconception: Fibromyalgia is the same for everyone.
Truth : Fibromyalgia is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. Sure, we’ve all got the greatest hits – pain that feels like we’ve gone ten rounds with a heavyweight champ and fatigue that makes sloths look energetic. But beyond that? It’s a grab bag of fun surprises. Some of us are walking zombies thanks to sleep issues, while others are living in a fog so thick you’d think we’re extras in a horror movie. And don’t even get me started on the triggers. What sets off my fibro might not even tickle yours. This is why docs often treat fibro like the ‘rule it out’ illness. They run every test under the sun, and when everything comes back squeaky clean, they throw up their hands and say, “Must be fibro!” I wonder how many times that phrase was said by a doctor to a person who died from something that should have been caught. Wouldn’t it be peachy if we could all agree on what fibro looks like? Maybe then we’d have a magic pill or a cure. Hell, I’d settle for a flashing neon sign that says, “Fibro flare incoming!” But nope, that’s not how this beast rolls.
3. Misconception: People with fibromyalgia are just “lazy.”
Truth: People with fibromyalgia often experience extreme fatigue that is not relieved by rest. This can make daily activities feel overwhelming and exhausting, but it’s not a matter of laziness—it’s a physical condition that affects the body’s ability to generate energy and recover. Picture this: you’ve just “slept” for 10 hours, but you feel like you’ve been awake for days, You drag yourself out of bed, feeling like you’re moving through molasses, and even the simple act of making a cup of coffee feels like you’re scaling Mount Everest. That’s fibro fatigue, folks.
This isn’t about being lazy or needing an extra cup of coffee. It’s your body throwing a full-on rebellion, refusing to generate the energy you need to function like a normal person. And let me tell you, it’s beyond frustrating.
The kicker? This fatigue doesn’t play fair. It doesn’t care if you’ve rested, slept for 12 hours, or spent the day binge-watching your favorite show. It’s always lurking, ready to sucker-punch you when you least expect it. And no matter how mad I get at myself, once I’m in a funk its necessities only and they tend to relate to immediate family, so the things I don’t get done pile up until they become daunting to the point that I don’t know where to start so I just DON’T start. Executive dysfunction at its best folks.
So next time you see someone with fibro canceling plans or looking like they’ve been hit by a truck, remember: we’re not being flaky or dramatic. We’re just trying to navigate life with a body that’s forgotten how to recharge its batteries. It’s not laziness—it’s our reality, and we’re doing our best to push through it every single day.
4. Misconception: Fibromyalgia only affects older people. Fibromyalgia is also not limited to adulthood—children and adolescents can be diagnosed with it, though this is relatively rare. According to the American College of Rheumatology, fibromyalgia in children and teens often presents differently than it does in adults, with symptoms like widespread pain, fatigue, headaches, and difficulty concentrating (often referred to as “fibro fog”). The challenges with diagnosing fibro in younger individuals are compounded by the fact that many of these symptoms overlap with those of other conditions, making it harder to pinpoint fibromyalgia as the cause.
In younger patients, symptoms may be mistaken for growing pains or other childhood illnesses, which can delay a correct diagnosis. The National Fibromyalgia Association states that fibromyalgia in children may be underdiagnosed, partly because doctors may attribute symptoms like tiredness or pain to more common, non-chronic conditions. Additionally, children may struggle to articulate how they’re feeling, which can make diagnosis even more difficult.
Fibromyalgia can occur at any stage of life, and its symptoms vary widely. While some people may have mild discomfort, others experience debilitating pain and fatigue that severely impacts their daily lives. As the condition often fluctuates in severity, it can be hard to predict its long-term course.
It’s important to note that the cause of fibromyalgia is still not fully understood, though genetics, infections, physical trauma, and emotional stress are thought to contribute to its development.
5. Misconception: There’s no treatment for fibromyalgia.
You’ve probably heard there’s no treatment for this beast, right? Well, hold onto your hats, because that’s about as true as saying chocolate isn’t a food group. Sure, we don’t have a magic wand to make fibro disappear (believe me, I’ve looked). But we’ve got a whole arsenal of tricks to keep this monster at bay. It’s like playing whack-a-mole with your symptoms, but hey, at least we’re not sitting ducks! First up, we’ve got meds. From your garden variety pain killers to fancy-pants antidepressants and anti-seizure meds, there’s a buffet of options. These bad boys can help tame the pain and maybe even let you catch some Z’s without feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck. Then there’s physical therapy and exercise. I know, I know, the thought of moving when everything hurts is about as appealing as a root canal. But trust me, a little moderate exercise can work wonders. It’s like giving your body a tune-up.
And let’s not forget about the mind game. Cognitive-behavioral therapy isn’t just for when you’re feeling blue. It’s like a personal trainer for your brain, helping you outsmart the pain and stress. Now, for the lifestyle changes. Getting enough rest, eating right, and practicing good sleep hygiene might sound like advice your grandma would give, but don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. It’s amazing what a difference these can make. For those feeling a bit adventurous, there’s always acupuncture and massage. It’s like a spa day, but with actual health benefits. Who knew getting poked with needles could feel so good? The key here, my fellow fibro warriors, is to mix and match. It’s like creating your own personal fibro-fighting cocktail. What works for me might not work for you, and that’s okay. We’re all unique snowflakes in this blizzard of pain.So don’t let anyone tell you there’s no hope. We might not have a cure (yet), but we’ve got options. And in this fibro fight, options are our secret weapon. Now, go forth and conquer my friends, Until next time take care of yourselves, and each other.
Ah, fibromyalgia flare-ups—the unpredictable, uninvited guests that crash our daily plans with the grace of a bull in a china shop. One minute, you’re checking off items on your to-do list, and the next, you’re grappling with a tidal wave of pain, fatigue, and brain fog. If you’re living with fibromyalgia, you know all too well how these flare-ups can wreak havoc on your daily routines. But fear not! There are ways to manage the chaos with a mix of practical strategies and a touch of humor.
Understanding Fibromyalgia Flare-Ups (Or: Why Your Body Hates You)
Fibromyalgia is like that annoying friend who shows up uninvited and brings a bunch of rowdy guests – pain, fatigue, and brain fog. A flare-up is when these uninvited guests decide to throw a rager in your body. Triggers? Oh honey, it could be anything from stress to the weather changing its mind faster than a toddler in a candy store.
Key Insights:
Flare-Ups Aren’t Always Predictable: Research published in the Journal of Clinical Rheumatology highlights that fibromyalgia symptoms can vary significantly in intensity and duration, making it challenging to plan activities around them. Will today be a “I can conquer the world” day or a “I can’t even conquer putting on pants” day? Spin the wheel and find out!
Stress Plays a Major Role: According to the Fibromyalgia Syndrome: A Comprehensive Approach study, stress is a significant trigger for flare-ups. Managing stress through relaxation techniques can help mitigate the severity of symptoms. Turns out, stress is like fuel for your fibro fire. So try to relax… which is totally easy when you’re in pain, right?
Weather Sensitivity: The Arthritis & Rheumatology journal notes that some fibromyalgia patients are sensitive to weather changes, which can exacerbate pain. However, the exact relationship between weather and flare-ups remains an area of ongoing research. Some fibro warriors are walking, talking weather predictors. Who needs a meteorologist when your joints can tell you it’s about to rain?
Tips for Surviving the Fibro Fiesta
Embrace the Chaos: Plan A, Plan B, Plan “Fuck It, I’m Staying in Bed.”
Journal Like a Teen with a Crush: Document every twinge, ache, and “why me?” moment. It’s like detective work, but less fun and more painful. Keeping a symptom journal is also advisable because what if its not fibro? The more info you have when trouble hits, the more you can tell the doc maybe its a tweak in meds, maybe its something else entirely.
Self-Care is Not Selfish: Prioritize yourself. Take that nap, do that gentle yoga, or just stare at the wall contemplating the meaning of life. It’s all valid. The American College of Rheumatology suggests incorporating mindfulness and stress-reduction techniques into your routine.
Set Realistic Goals: Like “get dressed today” or “remember why I walked into this room.” Break tasks into smaller, manageable chunks. This way, you can achieve your goals without overexerting yourself. Celebrate small victories, and don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t accomplish everything on your list.
Pain Management Roulette: Hot baths, massages, meds – try them all and see what sticks. It’s like a spa day, but with more wincing. The National Fibromyalgia Association emphasizes that a combination of treatments often works best.
Find Your Tribe: Connect with other fibro warriors. Misery loves company, especially when that company gets why you’re canceling plans for the fifth time this week. Join a support group or online community where you can share experiences and gain advice from those who get it.
Stay Informed: Keep up with fibro research. It’s like following celebrity gossip, but the celebrity is your own body. This knowledge can empower you to make informed decisions about your health and treatment plan.
Communicate: Let people know when you’re having a bad day. Most people are understanding, and if they’re not, well, that’s what voodoo dolls are for. Let your family, friends, and colleagues know when you’re having a tough day. Most people are more understanding than you might expect.
A tale of grocery store glory gone wrong…
There I was, feeling like a damn superhero, armed with a shopping list and the misguided optimism of someone who’s forgotten they have fibromyalgia.I’m cruising through the aisles, tossing items into my cart like I’m on some twisted version of Supermarket Sweep. I’m on fire, baby! I’ve got a week’s worth of meals planned, and I’m actually remembering to buy vegetables that aren’t just potato chips. Look at me adulting like a boss!
But then, because the universe has a sick sense of humor, my right hip decides it’s the perfect moment to stage a revolt. It was as if my nerve on that side was a live wire that was getting repeatedly squeezed like a cartoon character. Out of fucking nowhere, it feels like a rabid badger has set up shop in my joint and is throwing a rave. One second I’m contemplating the merits of Frosted Flakes versus Froot Loops, and the next I’m clinging to my shopping cart like Rose clung to that door in Titanic.
Every step is like walking on Legos while being stabbed by a thousand tiny ninjas. The fluorescent lights are suddenly brighter than the sun, turning the store into a hellish disco of pain. My carefully crafted plan of “shop and go home to Netflix” is rapidly morphing into “try not to pass out in the cereal aisle.”
As I’m limping towards the checkout, looking like a drunk flamingo pushing a cart, I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity. Here I am, in the middle of Kroger, putting on a show that’s part wounded animal, part determined shopper. But hey, if you can’t laugh at your body’s betrayal in the frozen food section, when can you laugh?
So there you have it, folks. Another day in the life of a fibro warrior, where even a simple shopping trip can turn into an epic battle against your own rebellious body. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go home and ice my hip while eating the comfort snacks I panic-bought during my pain-induced haze. Because nothing says “self-care” quite like ice cream and ibuprofen, am I right? Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.
Buckle up, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the batshit crazy world of navigating bipolar mania, fibromyalgia, and ADHD all at once. It’s a three-ring circus of creativity, pain, and squirrel-like attention spans that’ll make your head spin faster than a fucking top.
Way Down We Go is right!
Let’s start with the highs of bipolar mania, shall we? Imagine your brain as a pinball machine on steroids, ricocheting from one grandiose idea to the next with the force of a supernova. Every neuron is firing PURE GOLD, you’re a veritable fountain of creativity, spewing out ambitious plans and innovative concepts like a deranged Dr. Seuss on crack. The energy is intoxicating, the possibilities endless, and you’re ready to conquer the world with your sheer force of will (and maybe a touch of delusion).
But just as you’re revving up to change the course of human history, fibromyalgia comes crashing in like a drunk party guest, often giving you the coordination of one as well. Suddenly, every movement feels like you’re being stabbed by a thousand tiny knives, and even the simple act of getting out of bed becomes a Herculean feat of endurance. It’s like your body is actively sabotaging your mind’s grand schemes, leaving you to navigate the treacherous waters of creativity while battling a constant companion of pain and fatigue.
And just when you thought things couldn’t get any more chaotic, ADHD decides to join the party, bringing its own special brand of chaos to the mix. Suddenly, your pinball brain is not only ricocheting from one idea to the next but also careening off in a million different directions at once. Focusing on a single task becomes a Sisyphean struggle, as your attention span rivals that of a caffeinated toddler on a sugar high. (I’m really pleased with how that graphic came out. Thats right folks, I pick something for each paragraph and find and customize it myself, I’m a nerd lol)
But fear not, my fellow warriors, for we are nothing if not resilient AF. We may be a hot mess of contradictions, but we’re also a force to be reckoned with when it comes to navigating this twisted labyrinth of creativity and challenges.
First and foremost, self-awareness is key. We’ve got to learn to recognize the signs and symptoms of each condition, so we can manage them like the badass bosses we are. When the mania starts veering towards impulsivity, it’s time to rein that shit in. When the fibromyalgia pain is threatening to derail our productivity, we adapt and conquer.
Next up, we’ve got to embrace our creative outlets while setting some damn boundaries. Sure, we’re bursting with ideas and ambitions, but we’ve also got to break that shit down into manageable steps. Bite-sized chunks of creativity, if you will, that our ADHD brains can actually focus on without getting distracted by the next shiny object that catches our eye.
And let’s not forget the importance of taking care of our physical and mental health, shall we? Proper rest, nutrition, and exercise can work wonders in mitigating the symptoms of both fibromyalgia and ADHD. Throw in some mindfulness practices like meditation and yoga, and we might just achieve a semblance of inner peace amidst the chaos.
But let’s be real, we can’t do this shit alone. That’s why we’ve got to enlist the help of professionals – therapists, specialists, and anyone else who can help us navigate this twisted labyrinth of conditions. They’re like our own personal Sherpas, guiding us through the treacherous terrain of our own minds and bodies.
At the end of the day, living with bipolar mania, fibromyalgia, and ADHD is a fucking testament to our resilience and strength. We’re a bunch of creative badasses who refuse to let our challenges define us. Sure, it’s a wild ride filled with ups, downs, and more twists and turns than a soap opera plot line, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. So let’s embrace the complexity, embody the resilience, and keep on creating our own unique brand of chaos – one delightfully twisted day at a time. Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other!
WannaBeNormal 