Sleep isn’t just about closing your eyes and drifting off. For some of us, it’s like trying to land a plane in a thunderstorm with three different copilots all fighting over the controls. ADHD, bipolar disorder, and fibromyalgia each mess with sleep in their own ways—and when they show up together, it’s no wonder rest feels more like a negotiation than a guarantee.
ADHD: A Brain That Won’t Clock Out
With ADHD, the brain doesn’t exactly come with an off-switch. Racing thoughts, late-night hyperfocus, or the dreaded “second wind” make it easy to miss sleep windows. Research shows people with ADHD often experience delayed sleep phase syndrome—meaning their internal clock is naturally shifted later.
What helps:
Keep a consistent bedtime routine (same order, every night, like brushing teeth → skincare → reading).
Use a “wind-down timer” alarm to remind you when to step away from screens.
Try body-doubling for bedtime (texting a friend “logging off now” helps hold you accountable).
Bipolar Disorder: Sleep as a Mood Swing Marker
Sleep disruption isn’t just a symptom of bipolar disorder—it’s also a warning sign. During manic episodes, people may need little to no sleep and still feel wired. In depressive episodes, hypersomnia (sleeping too much) or insomnia are both common. Clinicians even track sleep patterns as a way to gauge where someone is on the bipolar spectrum, because sleep disturbance is that central to the condition.
What helps:
Stick to a strict sleep/wake schedule—even on weekends.
Limit caffeine, alcohol, and late-night stimulation, since they can trigger swings.
Track sleep with an app or journal to catch changes early (your future self and your doctor will thank you).
Fibromyalgia: The Non-Restorative Sleep Thief
Fibro brings its own brand of sleep sabotage. Studies point to “alpha wave intrusion,” where the brain doesn’t stay in deep, restorative stages of sleep. Combine that with pain flare-ups and restless legs, and even if you technically sleep for eight hours, you wake up feeling like you pulled an all-nighter.
What helps:
Prioritize pain management before bed—stretching, warm baths, or heat pads can calm flare-ups.
Create a cozy sleep space: blackout curtains, white noise, supportive mattress.
Try gentle sleep hygiene aids, like calming teas or magnesium (if your doctor approves).
The Triple-Whammy Effect
Now imagine all three at once: ADHD pushing bedtime later, bipolar flipping the switch between insomnia and oversleeping, and fibromyalgia making whatever sleep you do get feel useless. No wonder mornings feel brutal and exhaustion never really leaves.
Why It Matters
Poor sleep isn’t just a nuisance—it worsens mood swings, flares up pain, and makes executive function even harder. But knowing the “why” behind your exhaustion is powerful. It means you can stop blaming yourself and start stacking small, realistic strategies that give you a fighting chance at rest. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves and each other.
Some mornings, the win is just getting pants on. Other mornings, it’s breakfast made, meds taken, laundry halfway done before noon, and a gold star for basic humaning. But when you live with both Bipolar and fibromyalgia, (with a little ADHD thrown in for good measure) parenting becomes less of a schedule and more of a survival sport.
And the thing no one tells you? Showing up imperfectly still counts.
The Day-to-Day: A Symphony of Chaos and Grit
On paper, it probably looks like we’re flaky. Late to the appointment, forgot the school form (again), still haven’t finished the laundry from last Tuesday. In reality, it’s brain fog, chronic pain, executive dysfunction, and a nervous system that acts like it’s sprinting from a bear… while we’re just trying to make dinner.
It’s the kind of exhaustion you can’t nap your way out of.
Some days you’re the mom who makes Halloween costumes from scratch. Other days you’re the mom who considers goldfish crackers and applesauce a win. You are both and neither — and you are enough.
💡 My Daily Routine (On a Good-ish Day):
I am up at 4. No reason for it, just can’t sleep any later ever since my heart when I was in the hospital, first thing they did was draw blood so I think I started getting up early to psych myself up for it lol/ I do my Duolingo (gotta get to exercising the brain) I ‘watch the news’, I listen to all the late night monologues and any interviews I wanted to catch, or just some music in my headphones when the news isnt interesting. This is the quiet start to the day.. 5:30 First attempt waking hubby 6 First attempt waking up monkey Usually I watch the news or do my steps in between going room to room rousing people. 6:30 daughters not up start getting irritated. 7:40 I feed and medicate the furry children 8 I start on either post or making something. 10 I have to eat to take my meds 12 the cats get fed and medicated again 12-3 Always cleaning. Folding clothes, vacuuming and dishes usually round out my day. 4 I typically start either project or chat with daughter about her day, dinner 5:30 all my chores are done by now, or as I say to them ‘if it aint done it aint gettin done til tomorrow’ I watch tv til 8 and put myself into bed, usually falling asleep, when I don’t I get up and take a gummie, because I NEED sleep and no matter what time I go to bed I am up at 4, so might as well get some sleep you know?
This might be the hardest for me. Or it WAS, I’m finally letting go.
Spoonie-friendly routines. Simplify where you can. Wash days spaced out. Clothes that don’t need ironing. Outsource or automate what you can. I have an every other day routine because I am honest with myself and I know I need a day to recover after a productive day LOL
Movement, but gentle. Stretching or chair yoga instead of pretending we’re still in our 20s with full cartilage and a pain-free morning. Walking, so much walking lol
Let someone help. Even if it’s just asking your kid to throw their trash away. Micro-help still counts. Stop feeling guilt, other people have hands and feet too!
Digital checklists or ADHD-friendly planners (visual, colorful, forgiving of missed days). I might know somewhere to get them… LOL Seriously I love mine and feeling halfway organized.
The Numbers Behind the Fog
ADHD is underdiagnosed in women by huge margins. One study found girls are 50–75% less likely to be diagnosed than boys, often because they’re more “daydreamy” than disruptive.
Fibromyalgia affects 80–90% women, and often takes 5+ years to diagnose. Why? Because women’s pain is historically minimized or chalked up to anxiety.
Executive dysfunction isn’t laziness — it’s a brain-based difficulty in initiating, organizing, and following through on tasks. ADHD and fibro both contribute as does the Bipolar.
Bipolar disorder is frequently misdiagnosed in women, often as depression or borderline personality disorder. Studies show up to 69% of women with bipolar are initially misdiagnosed, and the average delay before an accurate diagnosis is 6 to 8 years.
So yeah… it’s not in your head. But even if it were, that would still be real.
You’re Not a Failure, You’re a Force
If all you did today was exist in your body and care about your kids, you’ve already done the hard part.
The parenting books didn’t cover flare days or mental fog. But we are writing the new manual: one honest, messy, beautiful chapter at a time.
You’re not alone, you’re not broken — and you don’t have to do this perfectly to be doing it well. Til next time guys, take care of yourselves, and each other
Goldberg, J. F., & Ernst, C. L. (2002). Features associated with the delayed initiation of mood stabilizers at illness onset in bipolar disorder. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12425278/
Recovering from hip replacement surgery sounds daunting, so why not make the most of your downtime? I’m a week out and I’m SO bored. I’ll probably knock out at least five of these this week. If you guys have ideas let me know EDITED TO ADD: Mother in law sent me a message letting me know that when her hubby had a hip replacement he built models and thats how she ended up with a curio case full lol. I hadn’t thought of them until she reminded me of Grandpa Greg’s recovery but thats also something tangible so I’d absolutely work on that. Legos too after I thought about it.
1. Binge Watch TV Shows Until You Forget What Day It Is
HBO, Netflix, Hulu… I feel like this one goes without saying… summon the entertainment gods! Start a show so long you’ll still be watching it when you can finally walk without looking like a baby giraffe. I’m planning to re watch this season’s Law and Orders, and Greys, and all the Chicago shows. Then I’ll branch out to see if there are any finished shows, or finished seasons of shows that I have on my to watch list.
2. Perfect the Art of Asking for Everything
This is your time to shine as the supreme monarch of laziness. Channel your inner diva and ask others to fetch you water, snacks, blankets, and everything else. I’ve started calling my husband into the room to do little things once I lay down. I start by justifying it as he’s walking in the room he’s like ‘just tell me, I know you’d do it if you could’. But half the fun is making up the justifying stuff. Make an argument they can’t say no to
3. Assemble a Throne of Pillows
You’re going to be sitting a lot, so why not create the most luxurious pillow fort for your recovery? Bonus points if you make people call you the Pillow Queen. I don’t just want a pillow throne, I want a pillow empire that I may sit atop and be fanned and fed grapes LOL
4. Write a Memoir Called “Titanium and Tantrums”
Chronicle your hip replacement journey in all its glory—include your emotional highs, your many Netflix binges, and the awkward moment you dropped a crutch down the stairs. Kidding, steer clear of stairs for the duration of your recovery. I didnt do crutches, I did a combo of walker and cane but it sucks to drop your cane. I have a grabber that I also drop, so I play pick up sticks with my toes lol. My memoir would be boring, mostly about how I try doing things myself, fail, then wait for someone to *gulp* help.
5. Invent an Alter Ego for Your New Hip
Name your new hip something badass like “T-800” or “Iron Justice.” Refer to it exclusively in the third person. “Iron Justice doesn’t approve of stairs today.” LOL I havent named mine yet, but I did notice I didnt have any bionic powers yet. Super Speed???? Maybe but I wont find that out til its magically activated and I am summoned to my rightful place instead of seated here atop my pillow throne.
6. Train Your Pets to Assist You
Turn your dog into a furry nurse or your cat into a reluctant butler. Teach them to fetch your slippers, deliver snacks, or at least sit next to you and look cute. I’ve been working SO HARD at this one, so far I have gotten two of the four to sit in my vicinity and grace me with their presence, I’ll continue working at it, it will be slow going but I’ve got time.
7. Learn to Swear in Different Languages
You’ll need new words for when physical therapy makes you want to throw something. Imagine shouting “Merde!” or “Scheisse!” to spice up your frustrations. I should look into the swear words, I don’t think they have a section for it in Duolingo lol, but I’ve been doing Duolingo more. Make yourself fluent in a language of your choosing. Thats using your time constructively
8. Create a Playlist Called ‘My Hip Don’t Lie’
LOL You knew a playlist had to be on the list somewhere! Honestly my soundtrack has been senate hearings and stand up comedy, but now that I’m feeling good enough not to sit on my ass today it’s Shakira time. Include other bangers like “Can’t Stop This Feeling” and “Walk This Way.” Dance from the couch (or gently sway if you’re not quite there yet).
9. Become a Professional Napper
If naps were an Olympic sport, you’d be going for gold. Nap at odd hours. Nap mid-conversation. Nap just because you’re bored. Recovery requires rest, after all. I seriously love me a good nap. I havent been sleeping well because I have to elevate my hip and I’m uncomfortable on that side, so if I’m in my chair and the moment calls for it I can be sound asleep in under 3 minutes.
10. Plan Your Post-Recovery Dance Routine
Once your new hip is ready, you’ll obviously want to celebrate with a victory dance. Sketch it out now: a little cha-cha, a hip thrust (carefully), and a triumphant lean. I have actually thought about this a fair amount, I love to dance. I love to move, I hate sitting still so its driving me crazy, but I know I’ll be able to dance soon and feel much better while doing it, so thats what I’m holding on to.
Final Thoughts:
Recovery is hard, but humor makes it bearable. Whether you’re inventing alter egos for your hip or perfecting your dramatic limping skills, the key is to stay entertained and keep smiling (or rolling your eyes). You’ve got this—Iron Justice (or Titanium Tina ooohhh, I like that one) will be back on the dance floor in no time. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.
Ok gang, let’s get real about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: medical PTSD. If you’ve ever left a doctor’s office feeling dismissed, doubted, or downright defeated, you’re not alone. For those of us with chronic illnesses and invisible conditions like fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder, autism, or ADHD, the healthcare system can feel less like a safety net and more like a minefield.
What Is Medical PTSD?
Medical PTSD is what happens when repeated negative experiences with healthcare providers leave you emotionally scarred. It’s not just about a bad appointment here or there—it’s about the trauma that builds up over time when your pain or symptoms are brushed off as “nothing” or “all in your head.” Spoiler alert: it’s not in your head. For many of us with invisible illnesses, this is an all-too-familiar story. Bloodwork comes back fine? Must be nothing. Physical exam looks normal? You’re probably exaggerating. And suddenly, you’re left questioning your own reality because someone with a stethoscope couldn’t see what you’re feeling every single day. The number of times I’ve left a doctors appointment shaking my head saying ‘well, I mean if it WAS something wouldn’t they see it?’ No, thats not true, some stuff is tricky and it hides behind stuff. Some times you have to poke around at stuff until you figure it out, that doesnt mean things arent there to find.
Truth Bomb: Invisible Doesn’t Mean Imaginary
Here’s the thing: just because something doesn’t show up on a test doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Fibromyalgia doesn’t light up on an X-ray. Bipolar disorder doesn’t leave a trail in your bloodwork. Autism and ADHD don’t come with flashing neon signs saying, “Hey, I’m here!” But that doesn’t make them any less valid—or any less debilitating. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked into an appointment armed with symptom logs, research, and sheer determination, only to be met with raised eyebrows and the dreaded “It’s probably just stress.” Or, ‘well you DO have Fibro’ Oh really? Because last time I checked, Fibromyalgia didn’t cause my hip to stage a full-blown mutiny (looking at you, early retirement hip).
The Emotional Toll of Being Dismissed
Let me paint you a picture: You’re already dealing with chronic pain, fatigue, mood swings—basically the greatest hits of invisible illness. Then you muster up the courage to seek help (because let’s be honest, even making the appointment feels like climbing Everest). You sit there, vulnerable and hopeful, only to be told your symptoms don’t add up or aren’t serious enough to warrant concern.
That kind of dismissal doesn’t just sting—it leaves scars. Over time, it can make you hesitant to seek care at all. Why bother if no one’s going to listen? But here’s the kicker: avoiding care can lead to worsening symptoms and even more complex health issues down the line. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to stop.
Breaking the Cycle: Advocacy and Awareness
So how do we fix this mess? For starters:
Trust Your Gut: If something feels wrong in your body, it probably is. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
Document Everything: Keep a symptom diary so you have concrete evidence to back up your concerns.
Bring Backup: Take a trusted friend or family member to appointments—they can help advocate for you when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Seek Second Opinions: If one doctor dismisses you, find another who will listen. Your health is worth fighting for. Though check with your doctors office or hospital system on policies, my doctor of 7 years dropped me because I got one.
And let’s not forget the role of healthcare providers in this equation. Doctors need better training on invisible illnesses—period. They need to understand that just because they can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. A little empathy goes a long way.
My Own Battle Scars
I’ve got plenty of stories I could share about being dismissed by doctors (and believe me, I will). Like the time I was told my fibro pain was just “overexertion” when I hadn’t done more than shuffle from my bed to the couch all week. Or when my bipolar symptoms were brushed off as “just moodiness” because I happened to be having a good day during my appointment. Yes its about highs and lows but there is so much nuance and theres no way to catalogue each patient’s symptoms into a graph saying which predominant symptom is worse from day to given day, I don’t even know a metric you could rate them on, its just too much. But perhaps the most frustrating moment was when my hip—yes, my actual joint—was screaming for help, and I was told ‘Well, fibro is painful.’ said sincerely with a hand on my shoulder (do not touch a fibro sufferer there and expect to be conveying sympathy or empathy, its like my BIGGEST tender point, which I never mentioned SPECIFICALLY so I let it go, but you wouldnt do that) Spoiler alert: it wasn’t just fibro; it was my hip waving its white flag and demanding replacement parts.
The Bottom Line
Medical PTSD is real, and it’s time we start talking about it. For those of us living with chronic conditions and invisible illnesses, advocating for ourselves isn’t just an option—it’s a necessity. So keep pushing for answers, keep telling your story, and never let anyone make you feel like your pain isn’t valid.Because at the end of the day? We know our bodies better than anyone else ever could. And who can tell your story and explain your pain better than you? Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!
1. Misconception: Fibromyalgia is just “in your head” or not real. Truth: Fibromyalgia is a real, chronic medical condition that affects the central nervous system. It’s characterized by widespread pain, fatigue, and other symptoms that are definitely not imagined. It’s scientifically recognized and impacts both physical and emotional well-being. Science backs us up on this one, folks.
I can sometimes understand why people might not get it—if I’m having a good day and I’m active, I probably look like your average Midwestern mom. I mean, maybe I should just get an “F” tatted on my forehead? I’ve thought about it. The number of doctors who’ve been dismissive of my very real condition is almost as high as the number of people who are shocked when they hear about my bipolar diagnosis. Clearly, they haven’t seen the rapid mood swings or heard me say, “But you’re sad?” to which I’ll reply, “Yes, amazingly, I can be both sad and manic at the same time, and trust me, it’s a million times worse.”
But I digress. Let’s keep up here—it’s 2025, and fibromyalgia has been a diagnosable illness since 1976. Before that, it was known as fibrositis in 1904, and even earlier, it was referred to as rheumatism. I mention this because, although no one knows exactly what causes it, I’ve been diving into my genealogy—yes, I’m a bit of a nerd—and checking birth and death records to compare what I know versus what I think I know. In the process, I’ve noticed that at least six of my direct ancestors had some form of fibro or rheumatism.
Do I think fibromyalgia will kill me? No—honestly, I have more pressing health concerns to worry about—but it’s been around for a long time. If you come across a medical professional who doesn’t think fibro is real, get a second opinion. And just to clarify: I’m talking about someone who doesn’t believe fibro even exists—not someone who doubts it’s what you’re suffering from. I’ll say it again: a second opinion never hurts… though, in my case, I had my doctor of 7 years drop me for getting one. So stay informed, don’t get discouraged, and keep pushing until you get the answers you deserve.
2. Misconception: Fibromyalgia is the same for everyone.
Truth : Fibromyalgia is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. Sure, we’ve all got the greatest hits – pain that feels like we’ve gone ten rounds with a heavyweight champ and fatigue that makes sloths look energetic. But beyond that? It’s a grab bag of fun surprises. Some of us are walking zombies thanks to sleep issues, while others are living in a fog so thick you’d think we’re extras in a horror movie. And don’t even get me started on the triggers. What sets off my fibro might not even tickle yours. This is why docs often treat fibro like the ‘rule it out’ illness. They run every test under the sun, and when everything comes back squeaky clean, they throw up their hands and say, “Must be fibro!” I wonder how many times that phrase was said by a doctor to a person who died from something that should have been caught. Wouldn’t it be peachy if we could all agree on what fibro looks like? Maybe then we’d have a magic pill or a cure. Hell, I’d settle for a flashing neon sign that says, “Fibro flare incoming!” But nope, that’s not how this beast rolls.
3. Misconception: People with fibromyalgia are just “lazy.”
Truth: People with fibromyalgia often experience extreme fatigue that is not relieved by rest. This can make daily activities feel overwhelming and exhausting, but it’s not a matter of laziness—it’s a physical condition that affects the body’s ability to generate energy and recover. Picture this: you’ve just “slept” for 10 hours, but you feel like you’ve been awake for days, You drag yourself out of bed, feeling like you’re moving through molasses, and even the simple act of making a cup of coffee feels like you’re scaling Mount Everest. That’s fibro fatigue, folks.
This isn’t about being lazy or needing an extra cup of coffee. It’s your body throwing a full-on rebellion, refusing to generate the energy you need to function like a normal person. And let me tell you, it’s beyond frustrating.
The kicker? This fatigue doesn’t play fair. It doesn’t care if you’ve rested, slept for 12 hours, or spent the day binge-watching your favorite show. It’s always lurking, ready to sucker-punch you when you least expect it. And no matter how mad I get at myself, once I’m in a funk its necessities only and they tend to relate to immediate family, so the things I don’t get done pile up until they become daunting to the point that I don’t know where to start so I just DON’T start. Executive dysfunction at its best folks.
So next time you see someone with fibro canceling plans or looking like they’ve been hit by a truck, remember: we’re not being flaky or dramatic. We’re just trying to navigate life with a body that’s forgotten how to recharge its batteries. It’s not laziness—it’s our reality, and we’re doing our best to push through it every single day.
4. Misconception: Fibromyalgia only affects older people. Fibromyalgia is also not limited to adulthood—children and adolescents can be diagnosed with it, though this is relatively rare. According to the American College of Rheumatology, fibromyalgia in children and teens often presents differently than it does in adults, with symptoms like widespread pain, fatigue, headaches, and difficulty concentrating (often referred to as “fibro fog”). The challenges with diagnosing fibro in younger individuals are compounded by the fact that many of these symptoms overlap with those of other conditions, making it harder to pinpoint fibromyalgia as the cause.
In younger patients, symptoms may be mistaken for growing pains or other childhood illnesses, which can delay a correct diagnosis. The National Fibromyalgia Association states that fibromyalgia in children may be underdiagnosed, partly because doctors may attribute symptoms like tiredness or pain to more common, non-chronic conditions. Additionally, children may struggle to articulate how they’re feeling, which can make diagnosis even more difficult.
Fibromyalgia can occur at any stage of life, and its symptoms vary widely. While some people may have mild discomfort, others experience debilitating pain and fatigue that severely impacts their daily lives. As the condition often fluctuates in severity, it can be hard to predict its long-term course.
It’s important to note that the cause of fibromyalgia is still not fully understood, though genetics, infections, physical trauma, and emotional stress are thought to contribute to its development.
5. Misconception: There’s no treatment for fibromyalgia.
You’ve probably heard there’s no treatment for this beast, right? Well, hold onto your hats, because that’s about as true as saying chocolate isn’t a food group. Sure, we don’t have a magic wand to make fibro disappear (believe me, I’ve looked). But we’ve got a whole arsenal of tricks to keep this monster at bay. It’s like playing whack-a-mole with your symptoms, but hey, at least we’re not sitting ducks! First up, we’ve got meds. From your garden variety pain killers to fancy-pants antidepressants and anti-seizure meds, there’s a buffet of options. These bad boys can help tame the pain and maybe even let you catch some Z’s without feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck. Then there’s physical therapy and exercise. I know, I know, the thought of moving when everything hurts is about as appealing as a root canal. But trust me, a little moderate exercise can work wonders. It’s like giving your body a tune-up.
And let’s not forget about the mind game. Cognitive-behavioral therapy isn’t just for when you’re feeling blue. It’s like a personal trainer for your brain, helping you outsmart the pain and stress. Now, for the lifestyle changes. Getting enough rest, eating right, and practicing good sleep hygiene might sound like advice your grandma would give, but don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. It’s amazing what a difference these can make. For those feeling a bit adventurous, there’s always acupuncture and massage. It’s like a spa day, but with actual health benefits. Who knew getting poked with needles could feel so good? The key here, my fellow fibro warriors, is to mix and match. It’s like creating your own personal fibro-fighting cocktail. What works for me might not work for you, and that’s okay. We’re all unique snowflakes in this blizzard of pain.So don’t let anyone tell you there’s no hope. We might not have a cure (yet), but we’ve got options. And in this fibro fight, options are our secret weapon. Now, go forth and conquer my friends, Until next time take care of yourselves, and each other.
WannaBeNormal 