Let’s talk about intuition. That little voice in your head that says, “Maybe don’t send that text,” or “You don’t actually need to reorganize your pantry at 2 a.m.” For people with Bipolar sometimes that voice gives conflicting advice
Mine’s been screaming for years, but I usually answer with, “Shh, I’m busy ignoring you while doing exactly what you told me not to.”
So, here’s a list of ten times I absolutely should’ve listened to my gut — and how my new pendulum board helps me keep my chaos at least moderately guided now.
1. When I Thought “One More Load of Laundry” Was Harmless
My back disagreed. My spoons evaporated. Should’ve trusted the gut that said, “Sit down, you maniac” and not got back up repeatedly.
2. When I Answered That Text From My Ex
Intuition: “Don’t.” Me: “Maybe he’s changed!” Spoiler: He had not.
3. When I Said “Sure, I Can Handle That Project”
What I meant was: “I will spiral into a stress coma and regret everything.” Not sure if thats any illness talking I think we all over promise sometimes, even to ourselves lol.
4. When I Ignored the Weird Rattle in My Car
Turns out the “ghost” was a very real, very expensive muffler issue. Of all the times my gut cost me, this was an EXTRA pricey one lol. Gut: 1. Me: $600.
5. When I Thought I Could Skip My Meds “Just for a Day”
LOL. Never again. My brain chemistry is not DIY-friendly. Most of them arent shy about telling me I forgot them either. Not just for a day, not even just for an afternoon lol.
6. When I Tried To Explain My Chronic Illness to a Facebook Comment Section
Intuition said log off. Ego said educate. Result: chaos and regret.
Lately, I’ve been using this pendulum board I made — not as some mystical fortune-teller thing, but as a quick way to ground myself. Watching it swing back and forth slows my thoughts down enough to actually hear what my gut’s saying.
7. When I Said “It’s Just a Little Pain”
…and three days later I’m Googling “can you die from ignoring your body?”
8. When I Thought “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” Was a Vibe
SO MANY people say this! Turns out it’s… not great health advice.
9. When I Ordered the Giant Craft Supply Haul “For Business Purposes”
I mean, it was technically business-related. Just… maybe not this month’s business. Maybe I wanted to not be rude, gotta get something for everybody!
10. When I Ignored My Gut About Taking a Break
(aka any time I have been up out of my chair for over 5 minutes)
Every time I push through instead of pausing, my body yells louder next time. Now I ask my pendulum, and if it swings toward “Sit down,” I listen. (Okay, fine, I try to listen.)
🌙 Moral of the Story: Trust Yourself, Babe.
Intuition isn’t mystical nonsense—it’s your nervous system whispering what it already knows. The pendulum just helps quiet the noise long enough for you to actually hear it.
If you want a gentle nudge toward trusting yourself again (or just something gorgeous and witchy for your nightstand), my new 3D-printed Pendulum Board Kit is going to be perfect for you. It includes:
A black + purple board engraved with intuitive answers
A matching pendulum
A mini guide for using it (with question prompts!) I can make custom ones with special colors. Coming to you in the next few days, keep an eye out for it
✨ Perfect for the overthinker who’s spiritually curious but still skeptical (hi, it’s me). Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and eachother!
There’s a terrible little superpower I’ve developed: I can watch myself overreact.
It’s the worst seat in the house — front row, center stage — where my brain is performing a full-throttle disaster musical and I’m sitting there with the program, thinking, “Yep. That’s… dramatic.” Meanwhile my chest is doing interpretive dance, my throat is tight, and my hands have decided to be useless for the foreseeable future.
I know the script. I know the facts. I know that my kid is safe, that no one is angry enough to leave forever, that the noise outside is probably just traffic, not the arrival of doom. I can literally name the thoughts as they happen: This is a sign. This is going to spiral. Everyone will leave. I am unfixable. And I know, in a rational, calm part of my brain, that the thought is an alarm that’s been stuck on repeat. I also know that knowing it — intellectually — doesn’t flip a switch and make my body stop treating it like an emergency.
That’s PTSD after medical trauma for you in a sentence: your mind is both the actor and the audience. The rest of your life keeps going. You keep getting up, you keep making tea, you keep paying bills. But some invisible part of you stays backstage, rewinding and replaying a scary scene, making sound effects, and refusing to let the house lights come up.
Why the “I know it’s not true” feeling is its own kind of hell
It’s isolating. Because the knowledge that your thoughts are lying should be freeing, right? In theory. But being the person who can say, “This is irrational,” while your body screams “RUN” is exhausting and weirdly lonely. You end up apologizing to people for things they weren’t even upset about, or you cancel plans because you feel unsafe even though everything else says you’re fine. You blame yourself for being dramatic. You try to be the reasonable adult and the reasonable adult keeps getting ignored.
And then there’s guilt. If friends or family do help, you watch them pay attention and you feel both relieved and awful — because you think you’re costing them time and energy. You start to believe that self-sufficiency is the only moral option and asking for help is taking more than you deserve. Spoiler: that’s not the truth. It’s an emotional trap set up by fear.
Tiny, practical things that actually help when your brain runs the show
I’m not going to give you platitudes. Here are things that have helped me — small, honest, and doable even on the worst days.
Label the play: When the alarm starts, say out loud (or mentally): “That’s my PTSD talking. That’s the survival brain.” Naming it doesn’t make it vanish but it takes away some of its power.
Two-minute grounding: Five things you see, four things you can touch, three sounds, two smells, one thing you can taste (or one thing you like about the moment). It’s boring, and that’s the point. It pulls you out of the theater.
Breathe like you mean it: 4-4-6 breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 6) calms the vagus nerve faster than a pep talk.
Write the loop down: If a memory keeps looping, grab a notebook and write it until you’re bored of it. Then scribble one practical line: “Right now: I am home. Right now: I can breathe.” The page can hold the drama when your brain insists on replaying it.
Micro-asks for people: Don’t make others guess. Say, “Can you sit with me for ten minutes?” or “Could you text me at 7 to check in?” People who care usually want the script — they just don’t want to mess it up.
Make a tiny safety plan: three things to do if it spikes (call X, 2-minute grounding, favorite playlist). Tape it to the fridge if you have to. Pre-deciding reduces panic.
What to say — when you want to ask for help but hate feeling needy
Try something simple and specific:
“I’m feeling fragile today. I don’t need advice — could you just sit with me for 10 minutes?”
Or, if you need practical help:
“My energy is low; could you pick up milk on the way home? It would help more than you know.”
Short. Specific. Low drama. It gives people an easy yes.
The honest truth I remind myself (even when my brain screams otherwise)
I can hold two truths at once:
My mind is telling a bigger story than the facts support.
Needing help right now doesn’t make me a burden — it makes me human.
There’s a difference between the loudness of a feeling and the size of reality. Your feelings are not the final arbiters of truth. They are signals. Sometimes they’re reliable, sometimes they’re not. You don’t have to act on every alarm. You can notice it, honor it, and then choose what you do next.
A small support for the messy days
If you’re reading this while your chest is tight and your brain is staging a meltdown, I see you. I know how lonely it becomes to watch yourself react and feel like you’ve failed at being calm. You haven’t failed. You’ve survived things that rewired your alarm system. That makes your reactions loud — not your worth small. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.
When you’re preparing for surgery, the last thing on your mind is probably whether or not you’re drinking enough water. You’re probably thinking about your recovery plan, pain management, or even the growing pile of tasks to tackle before you go under the knife. But here’s the truth: hydration is undeniably one of the most important—and often overlooked—parts of your healing journey. And no, it’s not just a ploy from the water bottle companies (although, they’re not mad about it).
Let’s talk about why staying hydrated during surgery recovery is vital for your body, your mind, and your sanity—and why you might need a gentle nudge to actually drink the water.
Why Hydration Is Crucial: The Science Bit (I Promise It’s Short)
First, let’s get the dry facts out of the way. The body is made up of about 60% water, and every single cell, tissue, and organ in your body relies on water to function properly. When you’re recovering from surgery, hydration helps:
Boost Healing: Water helps to carry oxygen and nutrients to your cells, and since your body is focused on healing, it needs all the help it can get. When you’re dehydrated, your healing process could slow down. So if you want to be up and moving sooner rather than later, water’s your best friend.
Regulate Temperature: Post-surgery fever or chills? Keeping hydrated can help regulate your body temperature, which is especially important when your body is dealing with the aftermath of a big medical procedure.
Fight Fatigue: Surgery can leave you feeling tired, but being dehydrated only adds to that fatigue. If you feel like you need an extra boost, water can be your secret weapon.
Prevent Constipation: If you’re on pain medication, you’ve probably been warned about constipation, right? Well, water helps move things along. So, if you don’t want to deal with that during your recovery, your hydration levels need to stay up.
Before I had my heart issues, I was absolutely the worst at drinking water but when you are in a hospital for a month as a coke drinker where they only have pepsi I started trying to figure out how to incorporate it into my day. I have found ICE COLD makes it tolerable for me, but we are all different. I dont like flavored water but others swear by it. Play around there is no right way or wrong way. I also was told, and I don’t have the science on this one, but I have a needle phobia and being comfortable temperature and hydrated helped SO MUCH with my daily blood work.
Now that the science is out of the way, let’s get real for a minute. Staying hydrated during recovery isn’t always easy. For some, the thought of drinking plain water feels as exciting as watching paint dry. You might find yourself staring at that glass of water like it’s an ancient artifact or worse, like it’s a reminder of that one health trend you keep swearing you’ll stick to (but…don’t).
I have a mixed record when it comes to following trends. I’m on year 6 or 7 tracking my health with my fitbit (I think this is the 5th one I’ve had), so its safe to say I’ve stuck with that and I’d say I’m in the 80-90ish percentile with meeting my step goal daily. Of course getting up and moving is part of it, however a lot of the strength building efforts I don’t follow at all, and my diet is TERRIBLE. I try but have the taste buds of a picky toddler lol.
So How Do You Actually Drink More Water Without Feeling Like a Chore?
Let’s be honest, trying to drink 8 glasses of water a day can feel like a punishment, especially when you’re juggling surgery prep, recovery, and everything else that’s going on in your life. Here are some tricks to make hydration feel a little more doable and a little less like a never-ending task:
Make It Flavorful: Add some flair to your water! Try infusing it with lemon, cucumber, mint, or berries. Suddenly, it’s not just water—it’s a spa experience! (Well, almost.)
Use a Fun Water Bottle: If you’ve got a cute, reusable water bottle with a built-in straw, you’re already ahead of the game. It’s amazing how much more likely you are to drink water when it’s in something you love. Plus, those bottles that say “Drink More!” on the side? It’s basically a mini cheerleader reminding you to hydrate.
I think the bottle you choose plays a role in your enjoyment as well. What good is ice cold water from a warm plastic bottle? I prefer my water cold so I got an insulated bottle.
Set Reminders: Set a timer on your phone every hour to remind you to take a sip. It’s like having a personal assistant, but one that only cares about you staying hydrated. You could even get an app for hydration tracking if you’re the type who loves checking things off.
Use a Hydration Tracking App: There are apps designed to track your hydration. These apps send you reminders and give you points for every glass you drink, which adds a little game to the task. Because who doesn’t love a little reward for staying healthy?
Make It Part of Your Routine: Maybe drinking water could be your thing right after meals, or first thing when you wake up. It’s all about consistency. The more you make it a habit, the less likely you are to forget.
I really do drink extra water, because while I try and be healthy, I also drink coke. I let myself have 3 (it used to be 6 so I really did make it healthier) so to allow myself to feel ok about the coke I go hard at the water to push the soda through my system. Its an imperfect system I know, but my life is checks and counter checks in my head.
The Bottom Line: Drink More Water, Feel Better
Here’s the takeaway: your body is working hard to heal after surgery, and the best way to support that healing process is by giving it the one thing it can’t do without—water. It may sound basic, but staying hydrated will help you feel better, recover faster, and keep you functioning through the post-surgery haze.
So, next time you find yourself staring at that glass of water, remember—it’s not just a glass of water. It’s your partner in crime, your secret weapon for recovery. Don’t let it sit there untouched. Drink it. Your body—and your brain—will thank you.
And hey, if you’re still having trouble getting your daily water intake, just think of it this way: you’re one sip closer to being able to walk without crutches and dance like nobody’s watching. (Okay, maybe we’ll save the dancing for later, but you get the idea.) Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.
Ah, New Year’s Eve. That magical time when the clock strikes midnight, and we make a series of promises to ourselves. You know, those lofty promises we make to ourselves after one too many glasses of champagne on New Year’s Eve… (Well not for me I’d take a gummie, talk about LOFTY lmao, and some of THOSE promises are just insane lol)Promises that, let’s be honest, may or may not survive past January 3rd. Let’s get real for a second – are these resolutions actually helpful, or are we just setting ourselves up for a spectacular face-plant into the pool of disappointment? I approach New Year’s resolutions with the same enthusiasm I have for trying to put on real pants before noon: skeptical, exhausted, and overwhelmed. But hey, a girl can dream, right?
So, let’s dive in with a practical (and hopefully hilarious) look at New Year’s resolutions from my slightly chaotic, slightly messy perspective. Spoiler alert: This is all about striking a balance between healthy goals and embracing the reality of our squirrel-brained existence.
1. “I’m going to organize the entire house!”
You see it all the time—resolutions that are essentially a mental checklist of Pinterest boards gone wrong. “This year, I will Marie Kondo my entire house. I will have matching bins for everything, and the laundry will fold itself!” Sounds great in theory, right?
But as someone with ADHD, I can confidently say that my home often looks like a Lego set that exploded, then a hurricane hit, and then a random toddler decided to ‘help’ clean. I’ve got big dreams, but my focus flits from task to task like a squirrel on caffeine. A study in Psychiatry Research found that people with ADHD are more likely to underestimate the time it takes to complete tasks and feel overwhelmed by big goals. So, unless I plan on starting with a single drawer, then celebrating my small victory, I’ll be doing some serious mental gymnastics just to avoid crying over the sheer amount of clutter.
I finally found last weeks CVS receipt!
My personal experience: I once started cooking myself some lunch, simple enough but when I went in there and there were too many things on the counter so I try and put a few things away, damn it, everything is jumbled but not MY jumbled so of course I stop and ‘fix’ everything. So later after I found places for things I didnt know I had, I started to gather my ingredients, I don’t see the tomatoes. After running to all the spots I have my canned goods squirreled away, I can’t find them anywhere. I’m spending far too much time looking for them, I go sit down at the computer to try and see my receipt for that week because I just KNOW I bought them. When I prove myself right I’ll go back and RE check everywhere before I finally go ask hubby to see if he knows where they are. He comes out and finds them in seconds, where I JUST looked like some amateur magician, I mean around here people would say if I were any closer it would have bit me lol, However once I start to open it and its a bad hand day and I am too shakey so I take the can and can opener over to hubby’s desk only to realize he’s not there, hunting him down doesnt take too long the house is small but now I hear the shower running. Oh well I can wait, and I take the can and the opener to my desk and see I have a message to respond to.. Needless to say two hours later I end up ordering pizza because I forgot what I was doing and I’m starving. I’m hyper focused on things, some are super dumb to focus. Three hours later, I realized I forgot about the laundry, the dishes, and the food I need to live lol…oops.
2. “I’ll get my life together by being ‘healthier’.”
Ah, the classic resolution: get healthy. Maybe you’re aiming to drink more water, eat cleaner, or even start a workout routine. On paper, it’s the perfect plan. But for someone with fibromyalgia, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and a life full of sensory overload, “being healthy” can quickly feel like the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops.
Fibromyalgia makes me feel like a walking body ache, and some days I’m lucky to get out of bed, let alone hit the gym. I might be in the mood to work out (at 2 a.m. when the house is finally quiet), but then the next day I’ll be in a pain fog and realize that I can’t even lift my coffee cup without wincing.
The research: According to a study published in Frontiers in Psychology, self-compassion is a healthier approach to mental and physical wellness, especially for those with chronic conditions. Instead of stressing over being “perfectly healthy,” the goal should be about taking small, manageable steps and giving yourself grace when it doesn’t work out as planned.
My personal experience: I’ve set a goal to eat better, the NEXT DAY we went to an all you can eat buffet! Shortest diet I’ve ever done lol. I’ve yo-yoed my whole life I’d like to get myself right in the middle, a healthy weight, but I can’t get out of my head enough once I decide I want to lose weight, its a target goal and I will skip eating then get in the pattern of not eating, then start forgetting to eat, this is the progression of this damn cycle. Its a ride I’m trying to get off of.
3. “I will have a better morning routine.”
Let’s be real—mornings are chaos, especially when you have a neurodiverse kiddo in the house. I’ve tried every variation of a “better morning routine” that the internet offers. Wake up, drink water, stretch, make a smoothie, meditate… but when you have a child with autism who struggles with transitions, any routine can be in peril the second they decide that, today, the shirt you picked out is the worst one in the history of shirts. Also, you just got up at 4 a.m. to the sound of a small human announcing that they’ve had a bad dream and that all of your plans for personal growth are now irrelevant.
But guess what? A study from The Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders shows that predictability and structure in the morning are helpful for neurodiverse children. So, maybe my dream of getting a Zen-like morning isn’t as hopeless as it feels. (That’s not to say I won’t collapse into a heap of tears when my kid insists on eating a frozen waffle for breakfast, even though there’s a hot meal sitting in front of them.)
My personal experience: This one I’ve done a bit better at. I get up and do my morning stuff, a little duolingo, maybe watch youtube videos. Track your circadian rhythm, a fitbit or something that tracks your sleep, and experiment. I have found that I get the most done and be the most productive when I wake up before everyone else. The problem is that by 5 I am DONE lol. I’m usually ready to chill and watch tv until 8 or 9 when I give up the fight lol but everyone is different and you don’t know what works and fits into your life best until you experiment.
4. “I will learn to love myself.”
Self-love. The golden nugget of every resolution list. The heartwarming message that we should all aspire to love ourselves unconditionally. Except for the part where bipolar disorder hijacks my self-worth on a random Tuesday, and the fibro fog leaves me questioning whether I’m even a real person or just a walking pile of laundry. This kind of resolution, though well-intentioned, can feel like a setup for failure when your brain chemistry or chronic pain says, “Nope, not today.”
But here’s the thing: self-love isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about being kind to yourself, even when you’re exhausted, your house looks like a crime scene, and your child just spilled cereal on the dog. Research shows that self-compassion is tied to better mental health, better coping skills, and a reduction in anxiety and depression, especially for those with chronic conditions. So, maybe this year I’ll resolve to be less harsh on myself when I’m not able to check off everything on my to-do list.
My personal experience: I spent an hour yesterday trying to learn how to cook sausage and peppers like my mom used to make. I googled it and I’ve stuck to the exact recipe, three different exact recipes actually (I’m kind of known for not sticking to recipes because I am incredibly picky) and yesterdays attempt was so far beyond yuck it made me feel like I failed and then I was hungry and mad at myself and in an emotional state because of the mental energy required to not scream.
5. “I’ll be more present.”
This one is popular among all parents, but especially those of us who feel like we’re constantly in survival mode. Being present with my child (and in my life) sounds lovely, but it’s easier said than done when you’re hyper-focused on a million other things, like that email from school, that phone call you need to make, and oh, your brain is just running through a checklist of everything you didn’t get done today.
But there’s hope. A 2020 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that mindfulness—just focusing on one thing at a time—can have a positive effect on both children and parents, especially in neurodiverse families. So, maybe I won’t master mindfulness right away, but I can certainly try to be “present” while making sure my kid doesn’t eat the cat food.
My personal experience: This was actually a goal from last year that I didnt really accomplish, I’m ready tonow I think. I spent 20 minutes watching football with my daughter with us chatting back and forth but I couldnt tell you what she even said because I was busy troubleshooting problems and planning next week’s dinners. Maybe tomorrow?
In Conclusion: The Real Resolution
So, here’s the deal: New Year’s resolutions can be tricky when you’re managing a swirl of mental and physical health conditions, plus trying to be the best version of yourself for your family. And yes, I can get overwhelmed by the pressure of trying to “fix” everything at once. But it’s important to remember that any resolution—no matter how big or small—is about progress, not perfection.
So, what’s a chronically fabulous person to do? Well, I’m a fan of what I like to call “micro-resolutions” or “goals with training wheels.” Instead of vowing to run a marathon (unless that’s your jam, in which case, do you! But I’ll tell you now, you ever see me running you should run fast because I don’t run unless something terrifying is chasing me), how about committing to stretching for five minutes a day? Or instead of promising to overhaul your entire diet, maybe just aim to add one extra veggie to your plate each week. The key is to make your goals flexible and forgiving. Life with chronic illness is unpredictable, and our resolutions should reflect that. It’s okay to have bad days, weeks, or even months. The important thing is to keep moving forward, even if it’s at a snail’s pace.
Instead of aiming for flawless execution of some arbitrary goal, I’m going to focus on one thing: being kind to myself. And if that means taking a nap in the middle of the day, or not organizing my whole house, so be it. The New Year’s resolution I’m setting this year is simple: give myself grace. And hey, if I can learn to drink more water and finally clean out my fridge? Bonus.
Your worth isn’t measured by how many resolutions you keep or how many goals you crush. It’s measured by the strength it takes to keep going, even when your body feels like it’s staging a mutiny. Here’s to a new year filled with gentle progress, self-compassion, and maybe a few less doctor’s appointments (a girl can dream, right?). Happy New Year, fellow chaotic warriors! May this year be filled with fewer expectations and more moments of peace…and maybe fewer meltdowns along the way. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.
WannaBeNormal 