Tag: life
I’m a Fibro Patient, of course I…
Saw this trending on the socials as more of a generational thing but I figured it would be fun to see what we can come up with about Fibro, put our own ‘fibro flare’ on it if you will (I’m only funny to myself but sometimes its worth it LOL)
Loki of the medical world…
Much like Loki of Asgard (who was burdened with glorious purpose) that prankster fibromyalgia (who, for all we know is just doing this shit for funsies) just loves messing with us, doesn’t it? Its idea of a good time is replacing all the words in our brain with radio static for a rousing game of “What Did I Come Into This Room For?” Talk about a comedic fibro fog party trick!
And let’s not forget fibromyalgia’s classic prank of swapping out our skin for sandpaper while we sleep. Waking up feeling like we got a full-body exfoliation treatment from Edward Scissorhands? Chef’s kiss to that hilarious bit of tomfoolery!
Then there’s the ol’ random full-body ache for no damn reason gag. You’re just going about your day when BAM – it’s like you got hit by a truck carrying a cargo of pain and fatigue. Fibromyalgia’s version of the old “kick me” sign prank, but way less funny.
Sometimes it gets super creative by hiding all our energy reserves like George stashing nuts. Suddenly basic tasks like showering feel as exhausting as running a marathon. Thanks for that delightful prank, fibro – really keeps us on our toes!
But fibromyalgia’s pièce de résistance has to be the sensory overload prank. One minute you’re fine, the next it’s like all your senses got turned up to 11. Lights are blinding, sounds are deafening, and tags on your clothes may as well be made of cacti. Now THAT’S a practical joke that really sticks the landing!
Fibromyalgia really gets a kick out of the old “hide and seek” game with our energy levels. One minute we’ve got enough gas in the tank to run errands, the next it’s disappeared without a trace! Good luck trying to locate those missing spoons to accomplish basic tasks
And let’s not forget fibro’s classic bait-and-switch prank of luring us in with a decent night’s sleep, only to cruelly snatch it away with a morning of feeling more exhausted than if we pulled an all-nighter. Tricking us into thinking we’ve finally beaten insomnia is such a knee-slapper for this prankster condition
Prankster Fibromyalgia is out here giving Loki a run for his money. But we know all this. And knowing is power (knowing is half the battle? I don’t know, insert your own 80s slogan lol) Now if we could just fix these things, well, maybe we DID fix all the things and we forgot where we put the answers. That sounds like something we’d do. You guys go look for that, I gotta go see where George ran off to with that, I might need it. Take care of yourselves, and each other!
Come check out the latest…
SuperFibroman… fibroperson? Fibro super powers…
Let’s be real – living with fibromyalgia is basically like being bitten by a radioactive sloth. You get all these weird-ass “powers” that nobody asked for and just make everyday life more of a challenge. But since we fibro warriors are stuck with them, we might as well lean into the absurdity.
For starters, we’ve all developed a spidey-sense for detecting chairs from a mile away. Usually with our shins when we walk into them but also when we look for them upon entering a room. I always clock exits, then chairs. Our bodies are so desperate for relief that we could spot a La-Z-Boy in a Vegas casino from the parking lot. Now thats not an always thing, some days I’d rather stand because I need to walk or stretch, but I HAVE TO know where my options are.
Then there’s our superpower of confusing the absolute shit out of doctors. We walk into their offices presenting a cluster of bizarre symptoms that have them scratching their heads harder than a dog with fleas. “You’re a real medical mystery!” they proclaim, as if we should feel honored to be their personal enigma wrapped in brain fog and muscle knots. Thanks, I guess?
Of course, our most impressive feat is the ability to look totally normal while feeling like microwaved garbage on the inside. We’re masters of disguise, slapping on makeup and clean clothes to conceal the bone-deep exhaustion and full-body aches. Somehow we make it through work, social events, you name it – all while our bodies are practically screaming for a horizontal surface.
And let’s not forget our supercharged empathy and ability to sense others’ invisible suffering. One look at someone and we can decode the subtle signs of fatigue, pain, and the dreaded brain fog. We see you, fellow spoonies – our x-ray vision cuts through the smiles and pleasantries.
So sure, having fibromyalgia may not give us the coolest superpowers in the traditional sense. But if you think about it, we’re all low-key superheroes just powering through each day with these bizarre abilities nobody else wants. Who needs super strength when you have the power to baffle medical professionals? Til next time gang, take care of yourself and each other!
Fibro be makin me crazy… or crazy makin me fibro?…
Fibromyalgia, the condition that makes “chronic pain” seem like an understatement, often comes with a side order of psychological hurdles, courtesy of our good friend, solitude. Picture this: you’re in a constant battle with your own body, and just when you think you’ve reached an understanding, your social life decides to pack its bags and take a vacation to “nowhere in sight.”
Isolation, the VIP section of the fibromyalgia club, isn’t exactly a coveted spot. Between canceling plans last minute because your body decided to throw a tantrum and having to explain for the umpteenth time why you can’t just “shake it off,” it’s no wonder you’re left feeling like the lone wolf in a pack of social butterflies.
Loneliness, the emotional equivalent of trying to find Waldo in a sea of blank stares, becomes your not-so-trusty sidekick on this rollercoaster ride. Who needs friends when you have your trusty heating pad and a Netflix subscription, right? But let’s be real, even the most dedicated binge-watcher can’t fill the void of genuine human connection.
Feeling misunderstood? Welcome to the fibromyalgia Olympics, where everyone’s a gold medalist in the sport of not getting it. Because nothing says “fun” like trying to explain why you’re tired all the time to someone who thinks a good night’s sleep can cure anything from a broken heart to a broken leg.
In conclusion, the psychological effects of solitude on individuals with fibromyalgia are about as enjoyable as a root canal without anesthesia. But fear not, fellow fibro warriors, for in the midst of the chaos and the pain, there’s humor to be found. So, here’s to finding solace in laughter, camaraderie in shared experiences, and the occasional eye roll at well-meaning but clueless bystanders. After all, if you can’t laugh in the face of adversity, what’s the point? Take care of yourself, and each other.
Fibro and friends…
Ah, relationships and fibromyalgia, the ultimate test of love and patience. Because what better way to spice up your romantic life than with a chronic pain condition that’s about as predictable as the weather forecast in the Midwest in May?
Picture this: you’re all snuggled up on the couch, ready for a cozy night in with your significant other. But instead of Netflix and chill, it’s more like a game of “Find the Least Painful Position” as you try to avoid triggering a fibro flare-up every time they accidentally bump into you. Ah, romance.
Also, the timeless struggle of elucidating fibromyalgia to your significant other without coming off like a wannabe actor on Grey’s Anatomy. “Oh darling, I’m not merely exhausted—I’m ‘fibro-fatigued.’ It’s fatigue with a twist, a dash of theatrics, and a sprinkle of existential dread for flavor. Just your average day in the life of a medical drama, right?”” I’ve always wanted to be on Greys. Or, honestly I’m old school and ER was my jam. STAT! lol
Oh, and communication? That’s a whole other ballgame. Because nothing says “I love you” like trying to have a serious conversation about your pain levels while your partner’s eyes glaze over like they’re watching paint dry. Ah, the sweet sound of empathy. I love watching the light in my partners eyes dim when I talk tender points. I can see exactly when he tunes out and I’m always tempted to throw in extra random shit to see if he’s paying attention lol
But hey, if your relationship can survive the endless doctor’s appointments, the mood swings from pain medication, and the occasional meltdown in the frozen foods aisle because they’re out of your favorite ice cream (or just because its Tuesday), then you know you’ve found a keeper. So here’s to love, laughter, and navigating the minefield of fibromyalgia together. Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other.
Off with her head… or all the rest of the parts that hurt…
We’ve all been there, some social event that you drag yourself out of bed for, any big gathering that you’ve saved up your spoons for because you know how things get. You’ve managed to smile for most of the people and start to ache, thinking only of the inevitable crash that comes after having fun with others. You’ve clocked the exits, you’re making your rounds saying goodbye to everyone. Hand shakes, gentle hugs for the chosen few, when someone sees you trying to make your quiet farewell. A loud someone. A judgemental someone. A someone you’ve artfully managed to dodge for the entire event, and there they are blocking the door. You can hear it already, their complete dismissal of the monster that consumes your entire being most days. How much you wish you could just transfer the monster to this persons back for five minutes, maybe you’d get a little empathy. Of course not. Today is the day they get through to you that you’re not feeling what you think you’re feeling, you’re feeling what THEY think you are feeling, and with a lot less first hand knowledge. Rolling your eyes and thanking them won’t work, but you are not in the mood to debate it, some people will just never believe what they can’t see, touch, or feel themselves.
You are not going to change hearts and minds here. Your best bet is to leave before anyone’s feelings are hurt (including your own, some people are mean). BUTTTTTT, you see where this is going, so you square your shoulders and smile, hoping to minimize the interaction and get out of there before drawing a crowd and having to say goodbye to everybody all over again. Bracing for it, you are not at all surprised to hear, ‘You know, I read that fibromyalgia is 100% mental, have you ever thought about the possibility you’re just too sensitive? It’s all in your head, I bet’
Oh boy. He went there. Now if you’re like me and you are not completely depleted from peopleing at this point, this is when you laugh. Not the good funny ha-ha laugh, but the ‘listen here f*cktw@t’ chuckle of you loading up the heat to roast this fool. Get out your marshmallows and gather round…
Guys fibro is hard, and fibro fog makes thinking of quick witty comebacks a near impossibility, but if you are prepared, locked and loaded with the snark this comment deserves this can be the highlight of the evening not just for you but for all in the vicinity, especially those who don’t enjoy this tool’s company. I GOT YOU! Look no further, these comebacks are sure to have him feeling the heat of that burn until the next party (where I promise at least this dumbass won’t be providing color commentary on your health.)
‘Oh wow of course! All I need to do is flip the switch in my brain labeled pain sensitivity to the off position, why didnt I think of that!’ – Ironically thats what some of our meds actually do, but this person wasn’t trying to be helpful and you don’t owe him a science lesson.
‘Wow, why didn’t I think of that? Let me just tell these nerves to stop being so dramatic’ – That one works best with an eye roll and then a fast subject change, as if you have no time for his shit.
‘Great idea! I’ll just add ‘ignore chronic pain’ to my to-do list. I’ll put it right under solve world hunger and teach you how to find the g-spot’ – That one is savage and might need to be adjusted in accordance with their sexual orientation
‘Oh silly me, I forgot to unsubscribe to the feeling pain newsletter, and I forgot my imaginary pain repellent! Can I borrow yours?’ – You can add ‘never mind, I’ll find my own, I forgot you keep yours up your ass with your head’ it depends on who is around and how much you dislike this person.
The last one is best delivered with full eye roll and exaggerated ‘I’m over this’ hair toss – ‘Ah, the elusive solution: simply pretend it doesn’t exist. Thanks for the groundbreaking advice. Remind me to cancel my doctors appointment and just think happy thoughts, why did I forget I was going to get to see Dr. Obvious, first name Captain’ and swish on out of there.
None of these are ideal, but neither are the ignorant people with uneducated opinions. You won’t change anyone’s heart or mind because its exactly as two dimensional as any other illness that has never touched that persons life, so you might as well get a decent laugh out of it, maybe provide a witness with a funny story to tell. Until next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!
Responses to well meaning family and friends
Hydration and the Fibro population…
We all learn in school about how much we need water; after all, we’re practically human-sized water balloons walking around! But while Kevin Costner might have embraced the aquatic life in WaterWorld, us fibro warriors know that our relationship with H2O is a bit more… shall we say, complex.
So, here’s the deal with staying hydrated when you’ve got fibromyalgia. It’s like, you know when you forget to water your plants for a while and they start wilting? Yeah, your body’s kind of like those neglected plants.
First off, your muscles need hydration to keep doing their thing without cramping up or feeling like they’ve been through a blender. Plus, staying hydrated helps keep your joints lubed up and less creaky. Nobody wants to feel like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz, right?
Then there’s the whole temperature control situation. Fibro already messes with your thermostat, so why not throw dehydration into the mix? Staying hydrated helps keep your internal temperature in check, so you’re not sweating like crazy one minute and freezing the next.
Oh, and let’s not forget about the brain fog. You know when you’re parched, and suddenly you can’t remember where you put your keys? Yeah, that’s not fun. Hydration helps keep your brain sharp, or at least as sharp as it can be when fibro’s already playing tricks on it.
And hey, if you’re on meds for fibro, they might dry you out faster than a desert wind. So, drinking water is like giving your body a big ol’ thank you for putting up with all that medication nonsense.
Long story short, drink your water, folks. Honestly, nothing I can say will make it taste better but your body NEEDS it. I learned that the hard way in the hospital. Theres a reason why they bring you so much water and ice while you are in there. Your body will thank you, and hey, maybe you’ll even feel a little less like a wilted plant in need of some TLC. Take care of yourselves gang, and each other!
WannaBeNormal 