Tag: #MentalHealthJourney

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Medication Management When You Have More Than One Diagnosis

JoLeave a comment

Navigating medication when you live with multiple diagnoses—like ADHD, bipolar disorder, and fibromyalgia—feels less like healthcare and more like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube in the dark. Upside down. While juggling. There’s always a new prescription, a dosage change, or a side effect surprise. Add in the fact that I’m a mom, recently had hip surgery, and sometimes just plain forget things (hello, ADHD brain), and it’s a wonder I manage at all.

1. Keeping Track Is Basically a Full-Time Job

I’ve tried everything: pill organizers, phone alarms, sticky notes, calendar reminders. Some weeks, I’m a medication goddess. Other weeks, I realize at 3 p.m. that my morning meds are still sitting on the counter untouched. According to the CDC, about 50% of people with chronic illnesses don’t take their meds exactly as prescribed—so apparently I’m in good (if frustrated) company. I employ a triple check system, because I have a problem with short term memory, so I had a few times gotten confused and taken morning pills twice. Now I have an organizer, take them at designated time, and old school write it down on the really bad days.

And ADHD doesn’t help. Sometimes I forget to refill my prescription entirely, which means pharmacy texts have become my unofficial accountability partner.

2. Doctors Don’t Always See the Whole Picture

Every specialist has their own tunnel vision. My psychiatrist cares about mood stability, my rheumatologist about pain, and my primary care about blood pressure and labs. Rarely do they connect the dots between all of them. That’s on me.

I keep an updated list of every med, dose, and timing on my phone ON TOP OF the primary care doc who is supposed to monitor my meds. It’s not foolproof, but it’s saved me more than once when someone said, “Wait, you’re taking that too?” I sometimes wish my doctors had a group chat—but since that’s not happening, I play coordinator.

3. Side Effects and Interactions: The Uninvited Guests

Adding a new med always feels like a game of roulette. Will this one help? Will it mess up something else? Once, I started a pain medication that made my bipolar symptoms spiral. (Fun surprise. 0/10, do not recommend.) Recently I was talking to a new psych doc and SHE told me that I shouldnt take a med that I guess has an affect on people with CKD and my numbers put me right at the beginning of that. And yet neither the doc that prescribed the med nor any doc I have talked to ever said anything about it and I’ve been on it well over a year.

Fact check: studies show up to 30% of adults on multiple medications experience interactions or side effects significant enough to affect daily life. No wonder I sometimes feel like I’m trading one problem for another.

4. Forgiving Myself for the Fumbles



(I am SO excited football is back on, my Sundays have purpose now so excuse my metaphors lol)

Missed doses happen. Taking the night meds in the morning happens. Once I even double-dosed my muscle relaxer and took the best nap of my life (not ideal, but at least memorable).

I used to beat myself up for every mistake. Now I remind myself: this is hard, and I’m doing the best I can. Systems help, but expecting perfection is just setting myself up for failure. Its important to be dilligent and well informed and trying your best where meds are concerned but you will make mistakes, we all make mistakes so just be gentle with yourself.

5. Advocacy and Asking for Help

I’ve learned to speak up more at appointments, to say, “This isn’t working” without guilt. Being able to leave a message in the portal helps the minor hiccups I’ve had, but be honest with yourself and your doctor, because if you can’t take a med they might be able to give you another med that works just as good. I’ve asked my pharmacist about interactions that my doctors overlooked. And yes, sometimes I ask my teen to double-check if I actually swallowed my pills. Around here, med management is a team sport.

Final Thoughts

Managing meds with multiple diagnoses isn’t simple—it’s messy, frustrating, and often overwhelming. But with humor, alarms, sticky notes, family backup, and a good dose of self-compassion, I somehow keep moving forward. If you’re in the same boat, you’re not alone. We’re all just out here trying to make the chaos work. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.

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Land of Confusion

JoLeave a comment

Well, fuck me sideways, it’s happening again. You know that moment when life decides to throw everything at you at once, like some cosmic game of dodgeball? Yeah, that’s where I’m at right now. It’s like my brain suddenly turned into a washing machine on spin cycle, thoughts tumbling over each other in a chaotic mess. Bills, deadlines, family drama, health issues – they’re all doing the conga line in my head, and I’m just standing here like a deer in headlights, completely frozen. 

Probably the biggest thing of note, my cat, MY old lady cat Ding (or D or Dingers, depends on who was calling her) we had to have her put down last week. She’d been sick and for the last week she’d stopped eating, and every day I thought I’d wake up to find her passed away in her sleep, but I knew after she quit eating it was HER choice and she chose, she’d had cancer and had started only eating cat treats by the handful. For this reason, she was always ALWAYS by my right hand. She’d been sticking close by me the last few years, if I left her sight she’d come out and LOUDLY inform me that I needed to return post haste. I can’t tell you how many times since we had her put down that I’ve reached for her. I don’t think I’ll ever stop reaching.

The chaos wasnt ALL terrible. Everyone who knows me knows my love of animals, and Correy is just as bad. One day a week monkey goes to school early and Correy was getting out of the car when he heard crying. I thought he was taking a long time as I’d seen him pull up and hadnt come inside yet. He was out of the car just listening. So I listened too and encouraged him to go find the source of the crying. He hopped across the street just on a courtesy glance and lo and behold. This brought a new member into our family then and there. He was maybe 6-8 weeks old and  as I’m whisper yelling, WHAT IS IT? And he turned around with that little ball of fluff was in his hands and he looks nearly identical to a cat we used to have that I miss terribly. But I have taken control of him mostly because he can hide in my room, not that he hides, he is the cattiest cat we’ve had in a while very playful, but got sick last week, with what I think Ding had, so he’s been to the vet several times already,was all alone on the sidewalk just screaming for us to save him, and we did, his name is Fryday.



 You’d think with all this shit going on, I’d be a whirlwind of activity, tackling problems left and right. But nope, my brain’s brilliant response is to just… stop. It’s like my mental gears have ground to a halt, leaving me staring into space like I’m trying to decode the mysteries of the universe in my bed room wall.

Nope, still havent found an ideal plan but I came up with a number of new recipe ideas!

 I know it’s just my brain’s fucked up way of dealing with overload. When there’s too much input, it decides the best course of action is to do absolutely nothing. Thanks, brain. Real helpful. So here I am, caught in this ever-circling pit of despair, where thinking about any one problem feels like trying to catch a greased pig. All I can do is breathe and wait for my brain to reboot like some outdated Windows PC. 

Seriously guys, I lose whole days to this, I just sit there thinking of all I have to do, then I’ll turn to look something up, forget what I’m looking up and start down a rabbit hole about the new Reba show and if its the same blonde woman as the sassy friend as was in the last show Reba had and its time for monkey to get off the bus. I’ve lost the day with nothing to show for it except for some anger and frustration at my own damn brain’s rebellion like a teenager with a bad attitude ‘I DON’T WANNA’. Oh today we have to call the vet and do two loads of laundry and dinner, a light easy day, until I can’t talk on the phone because the words I am looking for won’t come to me so I say ok, well I can do that later, I should start the laundry. Well ok, I’ll do that at the next commercial. Hey that dude in the commercial looked familiar, I’ll google it. Oh shit my shows back on, I’ll go at the next commercial’


TWO HOURS LATER


Oh shit I havent started dinner. I wanted to use up the left over chicken with home made lemon glazed fancy pants thing thats super complicated but googled while high. Well we can’t do the brine today so fuck it, time for pizza.. 


20 minutes later

Still in paralysis in front of the computer refreshing The kicker? I know this is temporary. I know that eventually, my brain will decide to come back online, and I’ll be able to start tackling this mountain of crap one pebble at a time. But in the moment? It feels like I’m stuck in mental quicksand with no way out. If you’re reading this and nodding along, congrats! You’re part of the “My Brain Likes to Fuck with Me” club. We meet every time life decides to go batshit crazy. Membership is free, but the emotional toll is pretty steep. 

So here’s to all of us stuck in the freeze zone. May our brains eventually decide to cooperate, and may we find a way to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Because sometimes, when everything is going to hell in a handbasket, all you can do is take a deep breath, say “fuck it,” and wait for the storm to pass. 

I have no coping strategies or advice, I wish I had the answers. I try and keep my brain busy. I’m learning Spanish. I’ll binge  a show until my brain go fuzzy, or I’ll put both ear buds in and dance like no one is watching (because no one is lol)I’m writing when I can, slowly easing back into school routine. I’m going to work more on the site this week. I have two or three ideas that I’ve come up with my petting and spoiling D in her final days. I know life goes on. I’ve tried to not ask for help getting through it, I’ve tried to sit with my sad all contained but some days it ends spilling from my eyes so I’ve hid away, plus getting to know the new guy. But lets do this, I’m back and I’m going to try to promise to report here once a week even if its just ‘this sucks, can’t wait til this part is over’. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.

George says hey!

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Navigating the Chaos of RSD: A Beautiful Disaster’s Guide

JoLeave a comment

So I talked the other day about RSD, which is a bastard that I’m currently fighting with RIGHT NOW in my head. If you experience RSD, save this post. Save my email. In particular save some of these solutions to help you when your brain tries to make you hate yourself.
Let’s dive into how to wrangle this RSD beast without completely losing our shit. These thoughts can hit like a freight train full of emotional baggage, making it a real bitch to keep your cool in social situations. But don’t worry, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve that might just save your sanity.



Self-Compassion (AKA Don’t Be an Asshole to Yourself)
Cut yourself some slack, for fuck’s sake. Everyone gets rejected sometimes – it doesn’t mean you’re a walking dumpster fire. Try talking to yourself like you would to your best friend after a bad breakup. “Hey, you may be a mess right now but you’re still awesome even if that person didn’t see it.” Constant struggle, often you will have to love yourself for trying enough to let go.


Reality Check (Or: Is Your Brain Bullshitting You?)

Before you spiral into the abyss, ask yourself if there’s actual evidence for your fears or if you’re just being a drama queen. Maybe, just maybe, your brain is playing tricks on you. “Okay, they’re 5 minutes late. Does that really mean they hate me, or am I just catastrophizing again?” The only flaw in this logic is when your brain doesn’t let the logical side of your brain kick in because it actually believes the bad shit. You are not who you were and your value doesnt diminish based on what you can and can’t do for someone else.



Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation (Zen and the Art of Not Losing Your Shit)

Try some mindfulness crap to stay grounded. Deep breathing or muscle relaxation can help when you feel like you’re about to go off the deep end. It’s like hitting the pause button on your brain’s chaos for a hot minute. Again, the logical side of you will see this. Listening and believing that it will pass might take some intentional steps like sitting in front of the mirror multiple times a day feeling stupid but in kind words, let the feelings out. Alone even. But say the words out loud, meditate on them if you need to, the best you can do is only so much, sometimes you will fuck everything up, sometimes you CAN’T fix things, thats part of the process, you have to own it to let it go.


Reframe That Shit

Try to see rejection as a learning experience. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of saying “Not this asshole, try again.” Look back at times when rejection led to something better – they exist, I promise. Remember when that job rejection led you to an even better opportunity? Yeah, like that. One door closes but another one you couldnt see is waiting for you. Or maybe you just learn what not to do, everything is a lesson if you frame it as such.


Phone a Friend (Or a Therapist, We Don’t Judge)

Talk to someone who gets it. Sometimes you need an outside perspective to remind you you’re not actually the worst person ever. Join a support group and find your tribe of fellow beautiful disasters. Misery loves company, right? It helps to know you’re not alone in this.


Level Up Your Coping Skills

Find healthy ways to distract yourself or solve problems. Maybe take up kickboxing to punch out your frustrations, or learn to bake so you can stress-eat in style. Channel that energy somewhere useful instead of letting it eat you alive. I often stack on the hobbies, sometimes I have to be writing and listening to late night monologues on you tube and have the news or a game on just to shut up that nagging inner voice that says I’m not good enough. Most days that works


Get Real with Your Expectations

News flash: not every interaction is gonna be rainbows and unicorns. It’s normal to face some rejection in life, even if it feels like getting punched in the gut. Lower that bar a bit, and you might just find yourself pleasantly surprised. Nothing is ever perfect even if it feels like it at the time and thats not even factoring in the other persons reactions maybe they are as awkward as you!



Focus on You, You Magnificent Mess
Work on becoming the badass you want to be. Set some goals and crush them. Nothing builds confidence like proving yourself wrong. “Oh, I can’t do that? Watch me, bitch.” Start by taking account of what you have control over. Thats where you can start. Once you are cognitively aware of what is under your power to do, set a reminder daily to remind yourself, that will help a lot with the expectations and being grounded, but its something you have to commit to taking honest stock in yourself and situations impacting your life.


Curate Your Circle (AKA Ditch the Toxic Assholes)


Surround yourself with people who aren’t total jerks. Limit time with folks who make you feel like crap. Life’s too short for that bullshit. Find your people – the ones who get your brand of crazy and love you anyway. We all have to deal with people in the real world that just rub us the wrong way or are unpleasant. Limit your interactions and while you are not seeing them, think of things you have in common with them so that your next interaction stays controllable and tolerable on your end.


Consider Professional Help (Because Sometimes We All Need a Brain Tune-Up)


Therapy can be a game-changer. CBT might help you rewire that brain of yours to be less of an asshole to you. It’s like getting an oil change for your mind – sometimes you need a professional to keep things running smoothly. Its every few years instead of mileage and it never hurts to have a check in just to keep things running smoothly


Remember, rejection sucks donkey balls, but you’ve got this. You’re tougher than you think, you magnificent mess. These strategies won’t make rejection a walk in the park, but they might just help you navigate this emotional minefield without completely losing your marbles. And hey, if all else fails, there’s always wine and Netflix. No judgment here. Maybe a gummie for me since I don’t drink Til next time guys, take care of yourself, and each other

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Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: A Rollercoaster Ride Through My Messy Mind

JoLeave a comment

Time’s been flying, but not because of any fun reason Nah, I’ve been wrestling with my own brain, and let me tell you, it’s been about as much fun as trying to wrangle cats. Pissed off cats at that.
.So, RSD. is characterized by an intense emotional reaction to perceived rejection or criticism. People with RSD may feel overwhelming sadness, anger, or anxiety in response to situations where they believe they have been rejected or judged. This can lead to avoidance of social situations or extreme sensitivity to feedback. It’s like your brain decided to crank the “giving a fuck” dial up to eleven and then broke it off. Every perceived rejection or criticism feels like a punch to the gut, leaving you gasping for air and questioning your entire existence. It’s the emotional equivalent of stepping on a Lego in the dark – unexpected, painful as hell, and makes you want to curl up in a ball and cry.

When I try to explain this shit to people, they look at me like I’ve grown a second head. They don’t understand how some times that inner critic is far too loud to ignore Its hard for someone without these thoughts to understand why we know its irrational and try our best to correct things before we speak. People without these thoughts can wonder about why we feel the way we feel but if that voice is not in you, you won’t get why we end up being so fucked up we don’t know up from down right from left. They don’t get how how this is such a debilitating, all encompassing feeling that makes the bad little intrusive thoughts that you normally think, feel, and let go, end up more like think, feel, think some more about why this feeling won’t go away, argue with the sane reasonable side of yourself, lose all faith in yourself and motivation to do anything because you can’t get past this one intrusive thought as it gets louder and louder and harder and harder to reason with or ignore, cry until there’s no tears left, find more tears, eat ice cream and accept that you are unlovable and no one wants you around.

Wow, that was quick with the big feelings right? It really does go like that. It really does make you examine every interaction and put it in the frame of a failure Lets look at how impactful this is and next time I will talk about some possible help.

Self-Blame and Doubt:
I’m always on high alert for ways I can screw things up. It’s like I’m a disaster magnet, and no matter how hard I try to steer clear, I end up crashing headfirst into every emotional tree in sight. And yeah, I know it’s exhausting for everyone around me. Who wants to be a full-time firefighter for someone else’s emotional dumpster fires that seemingly never end?

Fear of Rejection:
The minute someone’s two minutes late, my brain goes into overdrive. “They hate me, I’m worthless, I knew this would happen.” It’s like I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, just so I can say “I told you so” to myself while I’m crying into a pint of ice cream.

Catastrophizing:
Every little hiccup feels like the end of the world. I’m the queen of “I’m sorry” – I’d probably apologize to a chair for bumping into it. I have in fact, and also a random shoe, a WALL, don’t know how I did that one.and probably five more crazy things, and thats only this month lol. People get tired of hearing it, but I can’t stop. It’s like my default setting is set to “Everything is my fault.” The sky isn’t falling Chicken Little!

Overgeneralization:
Sometimes in my head, every relationship is a competition, and I’m always coming in dead last. It’s like I’m playing a game where the rules keep changing, and I’m the only one who doesn’t know how to play.

Perfectionism and Self-Criticism:
I have mini freak-outs if I have to give anyone anything that’s not absolutely perfect. It’s like my brain only operates in extremes – either I’m the best, or I’m a complete failure. There’s no room for the messy middle ground where most of life actually happens.

Emotional Magnification:
The delusions during these moments are what really fuck me up. If I text three people and no one responds immediately, my brain convinces me they’re all off somewhere plotting my social demise. Rational me knows this is bullshit, but try telling that to my anxiety.

Personalization:
I’m a master at blaming myself for everything while simultaneously feeling like an arrogant ass for thinking I have that much impact on others. It’s a mind-bending paradox of self-importance and self-loathing.

But here’s the thing – I’m putting this out there because maybe, just maybe, someone else is feeling this way too. If even one person reads this and feels less alone, or understands why their thought pattern is more toxic than a radioactive waste dump, then it’s worth it.

Remember, you magnificent mess, you’re not alone in this. We’re all just trying to navigate this crazy existence, one emotional rollercoaster at a time. Til next time (which will be fairly quick since I’ve already written it) take care of yourselves, and each other.