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Reframing for Real Life: How to Shift Your Thoughts Without Gaslighting Yourself

AKA Why My Brain is Not the Boss of Me

Let’s be honest: brains can be drama queens. They catastrophize. They tell half-truths. They rerun that one embarrassing moment from seventh grade like it’s a Netflix Original. And when you live with chronic illness, ADHD, bipolar disorder, or you’re just a human being trying to function, those mental reruns can get extra spicy.

Enter: reframing. It’s a simple but powerful cognitive strategy that helps you shift how you view a situation or thought—without pretending everything is fine when it’s clearly not. This isn’t about toxic positivity. This is about mental judo.


What Is Reframing (And Why Should I Care?)

Reframing is the mental equivalent of turning the pillow over to the cool side. It’s rooted in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and helps you challenge automatic negative thoughts by looking at things from a different (and often more helpful) perspective.

It’s not about lying to yourself. It’s about finding a version of the truth that doesn’t punch you in the gut.


How Reframing Works (Spoiler: Science Says It Does)

Research shows that reframing, also called “cognitive reappraisal,” can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress. Two studies worth name-dropping at your next emotionally intelligent brunch:

  1. Gross & John (2003) found that people who use reappraisal are more emotionally balanced and less likely to explode or implode emotionally.
  2. Jamieson et al. (2012) showed that people who reframed their stress (as the body preparing to rise to a challenge) performed better and felt less overwhelmed.
    • Citation: Jamieson, J. P., Nock, M. K., & Mendes, W. B. (2012). Mind over matter. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 141(3), 417–422.
      https://doi.org/10.1037/a0025719

How to Reframe Without Losing Your Edge

  1. Catch the Thought
    Example: “I’m lazy. I didn’t get anything done today.”
  2. Reality Check
    Ask: Is this a feeling or a fact? Would I say this to a friend?
  3. Flip It Gently
    Reframe: “My energy was low, and I did what I could. Resting isn’t lazy.”
  4. Add Sass or Compassion (Optional but Recommended)
    Try: “Okay, Brain. Thanks for your input. Now please go sit in the back with Anxiety and Guilt.”

Everyday Reframes That Save My Sanity

Unhelpful ThoughtReframed Thought
“I’m falling behind.”“I’m moving at my own pace, and that’s valid.”
“I should be doing more.”“I’m doing what I can, and that counts.”
“Everyone else has it together.”“They’re probably also crying in their car.”
“I’ll never get it right.”“Progress isn’t linear, and effort matters.”

Closing Thoughts (AKA Why You Deserve a Brain That Isn’t Mean)

You don’t need to have perfect mental health to practice reframing. You just need to notice when your thoughts are dragging you under and say, “Actually, no thanks.”

Reframing isn’t pretending life is great. It’s realizing you don’t have to believe every thought your brain throws at you. Especially the mean ones. Especially the hopeless ones.

You are allowed to talk back.

And you deserve to hear yourself say something kinder. Til next time guys. Take care of yourselves, and each other

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The Power of Structure

Alright, you beautiful chaos machines, let’s talk about the magical world of structure – because nothing says “I’ve got my shit together” quite like a color-coded schedule and a to-do list longer than your last therapy session. The Power of Structure: How It Benefits Us Neurodivergent Disasters
Living with a brain that’s wired differently is like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded while riding a unicycle. But fear not, my fellow hot messes, because structure is here to save our collective asses. Let’s dive into why slapping some order onto our chaotic lives might just be the secret sauce we’ve been missing.

  • Predictability: Because Surprises Are Overrated
    For those of us who treat unexpected changes like a cat treats a bath, having a structured routine is like a warm, cozy blanket for our anxiety-riddled souls. Knowing what’s coming next means fewer chances for our brains to play the “What If?” game at 3 AM.
  • Time Management: Or, “How to Adult Without Losing Your Mind”
    Let’s face it, time management for us is like herding cats – theoretically possible, but usually a disaster. A structured schedule helps us pretend we’re responsible adults who don’t lose track of time scrolling through memes for three hours.
  • Focus: Squirrel! …Wait, What Was I Saying?
    Maintaining focus when your brain treats every thought like a new, shiny toy is a challenge. Structure gives us guardrails to keep our minds on track, or at least in the general vicinity of where they should be

  • Emotional Regulation: Because Feelings Are Hard
    For those of us who experience emotions like we’re on an endless roller coaster, having a structured routine that includes “Don’t Have a Meltdown” time can be a lifesaver. It’s like giving your emotions a nice, predictable map to follow.
  • .Independence: Fake It Till You Make It
    Structure helps us pretend we’re functioning members of society who can adult with the best of them. It’s like training wheels for life, but with less scraped knees and more “Holy shit, I actually remembered to pay my bills!”

Implementing Structure Without Losing Your Mind:
Now, before you run off to color-code your entire life, remember that structure doesn’t mean turning into a robot. It’s about finding a balance that works for your unique brand of chaos. Start small – maybe try setting a consistent wake-up time (and by consistent, I mean within a two-hour window). Schedule regular meals, because apparently, we’re supposed to eat more than just coffee and anxiety.
Remember, flexibility is key. Your structured routine should be more like yoga pants than a straitjacket – stretchy enough to accommodate life’s curveballs and the occasional “fuck it” day.

Final Thoughts
Structure might not cure our neurodivergence (and let’s be honest, would we want it to?), but it can make navigating this neurotypical world a bit less like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole while blindfolded and on fire. So embrace the power of structure, you beautiful disasters. Create a routine that works for you, even if that routine includes scheduled time for staring blankly at the wall. Because hey, at least you’re staring at the wall at the designated time, right?
Now go forth and structure the hell out of your life. And remember, if all else fails, there’s always coffee and sarcasm to get you through the day. Hope you beautiful people are all happy and had an awesome weekend, take care of yourself and each other!