Tag: PTSD

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When My Brain Picks a Fight, My Body Throws the Punches

JoLeave a comment

Sometimes I wake up already in pain, which feels rude considering I was unconscious and minding my business.

My jaw aches like I spent the night grinding concrete. My shoulders are locked halfway to my ears. My hands hurt like I’ve been stress-clenching imaginary problems in my sleep (which, honestly, tracks). I didn’t overdo it yesterday. I didn’t injure anything. I just… existed.

This kind of flare doesn’t start in my body — it lands there.

My nervous system wakes up feral.
Heart racing. Muscles braced. Skin overly dramatic.
Brain fog so thick I could lose a thought mid-thought.

It’s like my body heard a rumor that something bad might happen and decided to prepare for war before confirming the details.

When the nervous system is under prolonged stress, it can amplify pain signals even without new injury — a process called central sensitization. It’s common in fibromyalgia and chronic pain conditions, and it means the pain is real, measurable, and neurological — not imagined or exaggerated.

Here’s the annoying science part: emotional stress doesn’t stay politely in the “feelings” department. It rewires pain pathways, cranks up inflammation, and lowers the threshold for flares. My body doesn’t care if the threat is physical or psychological — it reacts with the same unhinged enthusiasm either way.

So when I say I’m in pain, I’m not being metaphorical.
I mean my body is cashing a check my nervous system wrote.

There’s research behind this, by the way. Emotional distress activates the same pain-processing pathways in the brain as physical injury. For people with fibromyalgia or trauma histories, the nervous system can stay stuck in high-alert mode — turning stress into very real, very physical pain.

It looks like moving slower. Canceling plans without guilt (or with guilt, but canceling anyway). It looks like heat packs, silence, and a deep distrust of anyone who suggests I “push through it.” It looks like exhaustion that sleep laughs at and pain that refuses to justify itself with visible damage.

This isn’t weakness.
This is a system that’s been on high alert for too long and forgot how to stand down.

Some days the goal isn’t fixing anything — it’s lowering the volume. Fewer demands. Softer expectations. Treating my body like it’s been through something instead of asking it to perform like it hasn’t.

Pain doesn’t always come from injury.
Sometimes it comes from carrying too much, for too long, with no off switch. Til next time gang, take gentle care of yourselves, and each other!

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When the Holidays Are Loud Everywhere Except Your House

JoLeave a comment

The holidays are noisy.
Not just with music and parties and people — but with proof. Proof that everyone else seems to be gathering, hosting, laughing, overflowing.

And then there’s your house.
Quiet. Still. Too still.

You can be grateful and lonely at the same time. Those aren’t opposites — they’re roommates who don’t speak to each other.

You can know you’re lucky, blessed, resourced, safe…
and still feel like something essential is missing. Like the volume of the world has been turned up everywhere else and muted where you are.

That disconnect messes with your head.

Because the messaging is relentless:

  • Be thankful.
  • Cherish this season.
  • Soak it all in.

But what if there isn’t much to soak in?
What if you’re not ungrateful — you’re just alone?

There’s a particular kind of loneliness that shows up during the holidays.
Not the dramatic kind.
The quiet, creeping kind that makes you feel unworthy of love, like if you were easier, better, less broken, someone would be here.

And that’s the lie.

The truth is:
Holidays magnify absence. They don’t create it.

Estrangement, distance, grief, illness, burnout — all the things you’ve been surviving all year don’t suddenly take December off. They just get wrapped in twinkle lights and judged harder.

If your house is quiet this season, it doesn’t mean you failed.
It doesn’t mean you’re unlovable.
It doesn’t mean you did something wrong.

It just means this season is asking something different of you.

Maybe survival instead of celebration.
Gentleness instead of gratitude lists.
Presence instead of performance.

You don’t have to force joy to prove you’re okay.
You don’t have to fake cheer to earn rest.
And you don’t have to minimize your pain just because someone else has it worse.

If the holidays are loud everywhere except your house —
your quiet is still allowed.
Your sadness still counts.
And you are still worthy of love, even when no one shows up with cookies and matching pajamas.

Sometimes getting through is enough.
Sometimes staying soft in a loud world is the bravest thing you’ll do all season. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

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Signs You’re Pacing Your Energy Correctly (Even If It Feels Like You’re Doing Nothing)

JoLeave a comment

If you live with chronic illness, neurodivergence, or both, pacing your energy can feel suspiciously like… failing. We’ve been conditioned to believe that productivity equals worth, and rest is something you earn after pushing yourself to the brink. Spoiler alert: that mindset is garbage — and it actively works against bodies and brains like ours.

Energy pacing isn’t about doing less because you’re “giving up.” It’s about doing what keeps you functioning tomorrow. And sometimes that looks like absolutely nothing from the outside.

Here are signs you’re actually pacing correctly — even if it doesn’t feel impressive.

1. You Stop Before You Crash

If you’re resting while you still technically could keep going, congratulations — you’re doing it right. Pacing means stopping at the “I should probably rest soon” stage, not the “I have made a terrible mistake” stage.

Ending an activity while you still have a sliver of energy left isn’t weakness. It’s strategy.

2. You Plan Rest on Purpose

Rest isn’t something that “just happens” anymore. It’s scheduled. Protected. Sometimes defended like a feral raccoon.

If your calendar includes intentional downtime — especially after appointments, errands, or social interaction — that’s not laziness. That’s advanced-level self-management.

3. Your Week Looks Boring but Survivable

A paced week doesn’t look exciting. It looks quiet. Repetitive. Underwhelming.

And that’s the point.

If you’re no longer stacking five demanding things in one day and calling it “normal,” you’re learning how to live within your limits instead of constantly bulldozing them.

4. You Say No Without a Full PowerPoint Presentation

You don’t owe anyone your medical history, trauma background, or a five-paragraph explanation for why you can’t do something.

If you’re starting to say “I can’t” or “That won’t work for me” without spiraling into guilt — that’s growth. Messy, uncomfortable, necessary growth.

5. You Recover Faster Than You Used To

Maybe you still flare. Maybe you still crash. But if the recovery time is shorter than it used to be — that’s pacing working.

Progress with chronic illness is often measured in less severe consequences, not total avoidance.

6. You’re Choosing the Easier Option Without Shame

Delivery instead of cooking. Grocery pickup instead of the store. Frozen food instead of scratch meals. Sitting instead of standing.

If you’re choosing accessibility over aesthetics, you’re not “giving up.” You’re adapting. And adaptation is how people survive long-term.

7. You Feel “Unproductive” but Less Destroyed

This one messes with people the most.

If you feel like you didn’t do much, but you also didn’t completely wreck yourself — that’s a win. A quiet one. An invisible one. But a real one.

8. You’re Thinking About Tomorrow, Not Just Today

Pacing means asking, “How will this affect me later?” instead of “Can I force myself through this right now?”

If future-you is part of your decision-making process, you’re playing the long game — and that matters.

Final Thought

Pacing doesn’t look heroic. It doesn’t get applause. It doesn’t fit hustle culture or toxic positivity.

But it keeps you alive, functional, and able to show up again.

You are not doing nothing.
You are managing a body and nervous system that require intention, restraint, and care.

And honestly? That’s not weakness.
That’s skill. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

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Fibromyalgia Isn’t Just Pain: Why the Fatigue Hits So Hard

JoLeave a comment

When people hear “fibromyalgia,” they usually think of pain — aching joints, sore muscles, that constant feeling like you overdid it yesterday even when you didn’t.
Pain is part of it, yes. But for many people with fibromyalgia, fatigue is the symptom that quietly dismantles daily life.

This isn’t the kind of tired that goes away with a good night’s sleep or a strong cup of coffee. Fibromyalgia fatigue is persistent, physical, and rooted in how the nervous system functions.

Common Fibromyalgia Symptoms (Beyond Pain)

Fibromyalgia is a multisystem condition, not a single-symptom diagnosis. Common symptoms include:

  • Chronic widespread musculoskeletal pain
  • Ongoing fatigue
  • Non-restorative sleep (waking up unrefreshed)
  • Cognitive difficulties (“fibro fog”)
  • Sensitivity to light, sound, temperature, or touch
  • Headaches or migraines
  • Gastrointestinal issues (often overlapping with IBS)
  • Muscle stiffness, especially in the morning
  • Mood changes linked to nervous system stress

Not everyone experiences every symptom, and severity can fluctuate — sometimes daily, sometimes hourly.

What Makes Fibromyalgia Fatigue Different?

Fibromyalgia fatigue isn’t simply being tired from doing too much. It’s tied to central sensitization, a process in which the brain and spinal cord become overly reactive.

In simple terms:

  • The nervous system stays partially “on alert”
  • Pain signals are amplified
  • The body burns energy just maintaining baseline function

Even rest can require effort when the system responsible for regulating stress, pain, and recovery isn’t working efficiently.

Think of it like running multiple background apps you can’t close. The battery drains faster — even on low activity.

Mayo Clinic explains that people with fibromyalgia commonly experience fatigue and disrupted sleep, noting that individuals often wake up tired even after sleeping for a long time, as pain and related sleep disorders can interfere with rest. Mayo Clinic

Why Sleep Doesn’t Fix Fibromyalgia Fatigue

One of the most frustrating aspects of fibromyalgia is that sleep doesn’t reliably restore energy.

Research shows that people with fibromyalgia often experience:

  • Disrupted sleep architecture
  • Reduced time in deep, restorative sleep stages
  • Alpha-wave intrusion during sleep, keeping the brain partially alert
  • Frequent micro-arousals caused by pain or nervous system activity

This means someone can be unconscious for eight hours and still wake up feeling unrefreshed, stiff, and exhausted.

Sleep happens — but rest doesn’t fully occur.

Sleep research indicates that people with fibromyalgia often experience abnormal sleep patterns, such as reduced deep sleep and brain activity resembling wakefulness during sleep stages, which helps explain why rest does not always feel restorative. Sleep Foundation

The Role of the Nervous System

Fibromyalgia is increasingly understood as a disorder of nervous system regulation, not muscle damage or inflammation alone.

When the nervous system struggles to downshift:

  • Muscles remain tense
  • Pain signals remain elevated
  • Stress hormones like cortisol can become dysregulated
  • Energy recovery is impaired

This is why fatigue in fibromyalgia often feels disproportionate to activity levels — and why pushing through it usually backfires.

Why “Just Rest More” Misses the Point

Well-meaning advice like “get more sleep” or “listen to your body” often falls short because it assumes the system responsible for rest is functioning normally.

In fibromyalgia:

  • Rest helps, but it’s not a cure
  • Sleep matters, but it’s not always restorative
  • Energy management requires strategy, not willpower

Understanding this difference matters — medically, socially, and personally.

The Bottom Line

Fibromyalgia fatigue is not laziness, lack of motivation, or deconditioning.
It’s a nervous system issue that affects how the body processes pain, stress, sleep, and recovery.

Recognizing fatigue as a core symptom — not a side effect — is essential to understanding what living with fibromyalgia actually looks like.

Because when the system itself is misfiring, exhaustion isn’t a failure.
It’s feedback.
Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

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7 Small Wins That Totally Count as Achievements in The Holiday Season

JoLeave a comment

Listen… December is basically the season finale of the year, and my brain is running on whatever scraps of battery life it can find between the couch cushions. So instead of pretending I’m a fully optimized human being, I’m embracing the tiny victories — the ones that actually count.

Because if December can be dramatic?
I can be delusional in a way that helps my self-esteem.

We all know (and we’ve talked about) December is an energy zapper so here are 7 small wins that absolutely deserve applause, confetti, or at least a slow clap from someone who isn’t judging your life choices:

1. Getting dressed in something that isn’t your “I Give Up” sweatpants

Bonus points if the outfit has textures like velvet and lace, because then you’re basically cosplaying as an enchanted woodland witch who is absolutely doing her best. I’m a cross between Stevie Nicks and a victorian ghost as far as style goes. I want people to see me and feel the energy shift because I am all about delivering the good vibes.

2. Remembering one (1) single appointment

In December? That’s Nobel Prize-level discipline. Congratulations on defeating the Calendar Boss. The other appointments are jealous but hey, you crushed that lunch date.

3. Feeding yourself something other than peppermint bark

Double win if it was an actual meal. Triple win if you didn’t eat it standing in the kitchen like a tired Victorian ghost. I want people to know I am absolutely not going to be a quiet ghost. No slipping in or out of places unnoticed. I’m going to be LOUD, think of my entrances and exits to resemble Kramer’s from Seinfeld.

4. Wrapping at least one gift without crying

Or using a gift bag instead of trying to precision-fold paper like Martha Stewart with a migraine. Embrace the bag. The bag is your friend. I havent wrapped a gift in forever, the muscle memory is gone.

5. Making it through a school concert, holiday party, or work event

Even if your soul left your body three minutes in, you showed up. Gold star. I make disassociating an Olympics level sport. If you see me at an event, think of that as a premeeting and I’ll be asking all my follow up questions when I see you next and might lag on a convo or two while my brain is processing.

6. Saying “no” to something your body and brain didn’t have the spoons for

This is Advanced Seasonal Adulting™. Look at you, protecting your peace like a tiny holiday dragon guarding its hoard. I will protect my peace, because I have to listen to me when everything is quiet.

7. Remembering joy is allowed to be small right now

A quiet night. A cup of cocoa. A silly ornament. Five minutes under a blanket with the lights off. Its unreal how long I could sit and watch the tree change color while memories play like a slideshow in my head.
Tiny joy counts — especially when December tries to steamroll you.

If you’ve done even one of these things?
You’re winning. Seriously. December doesn’t want us to succeed, and yet here we are — thriving at a very reasonable, spoon-conscious pace. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other. Holiday greetings from George!)

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A Message To My Friends

JoLeave a comment

Hi friends! If your reading this, you are a friend. As all of you know, I do have a chronic illness, in fact a number of them lol, but you all know this season zaps even the best of us. As I have detailed here, December tends to hit my body and brain like they’re part of an obstacle course on a game show I never signed up for. And when you’re running full throttle and still falling short, something’s gotta give.

I don’t want to fall short here, especially because none of you are demanding anything from me. I can practically hear you saying, “We know all this,” with a dramatic eye roll (mostly my teen doing the heavy eye-rolling, let’s be honest — the rest of you are far too polite)

So here’s the deal: while I’ll absolutely keep sharing my random stories, chaotic life lessons, and general nonsense you didn’t ask for but still graciously read, I’m hitting pause on the menu/recipe posts until the week after Christmas. The holidays take a lot out of me, and if I don’t give myself extra gentleness, I end up wobbling like a Jenga tower in a windstorm.

That said, don’t be shocked if a cookie recipe sneaks its way in — December is long, and sometimes sugar is a coping mechanism. And for those of you navigating estrangement or heavy emotions this time of year, you get it. This season gets to the best of us… and I am very much not the best of us, so it does a number on me.

Thanks for sticking around, for reading, for being here. I appreciate you more than you know.
There will be a George update soon as there is a family of them outside my window. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, for real be extra kind to yourselves, and each other!

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My December Brain Thinks It’s Being Chased by a Tiger

JoLeave a comment

A spoonie’s guide to understanding why this month feels like a boss battle

December arrives every year like it’s auditioning for a “Most Dramatic Month” award. Lights! Deadlines! Events! Family! Weather that makes my joints feel like they were installed backwards! I swear this month shows up wearing a sequined gown and holding a megaphone screaming, “SURPRISE, IT’S ME! LET’S CHAOS.”

And listen… I’m doing my best.
But my brain?
My brain is over in the corner rubbing two neurons together trying to make a spark like a Boy Scout with wet matches.

And that’s the thing: December is uniquely designed to absolutely obliterate neurodivergent and chronically ill people.

Let me explain — with actual science.
(But don’t worry, it’s me. I’ll keep it spicy.)

1. December is basically sensory overload in a trench coat.

Think about it: blinking lights, crowds, loud music, bells, scents, glitter everywhere like it escaped a containment lab… it’s a full assault on the senses.

For ADHD and autistic brains, the sensory load of ONE Target trip in December is equivalent to running a psychological marathon while someone throws cinnamon pinecones at your face.

When you see people calmly strolling through a decorated mall, please understand they are operating at a level of sensory privilege I can only dream of.

2. Our executive function gets hit with a holiday piñata stick.

Executive function — the part of the brain responsible for planning, organizing, remembering, transitioning, and not screaming into the void — already runs on 2% battery for a lot of us.

Then December rolls in and demands:

  • Coordination
  • Decision-making
  • Gift lists
  • Cooking
  • Routines changing
  • Socializing
  • Budgeting
  • TIME MANAGEMENT (okay calm down, this is a safe space)

It’s too much.
Neuroscience basically says: if your brain already struggles with dopamine, working memory, or task sequencing, December is like trying to juggle flaming swords with oven mitts on.

3. Chronic illness + cold weather = my body filing hostile complaints with HR.

Fibromyalgia loves the cold the way cats love knocking stuff off counters: it finds an opportunity and goes for it.

Scientific fun fact: colder temperatures can increase muscle tension and pain sensitivity, and reduced sunlight messes with serotonin levels, which can intensify fatigue and mood dips.

Scientific non-fun fact: my body reacts to December like someone unplugged it mid-update.

4. The holidays trigger “performance mode” whether we want it or not.

If you grew up in chaos, survived medical trauma, or just exist as a human with trauma baggage (hi, welcome, there are snacks), your nervous system may automatically shift into high-alert this time of year.

The brain hates unpredictability.
December is 90% unpredictability.

So your amygdala goes, “Heyyyy remember when things went bad before? Let’s be ready. Just in case.”

Which is cute.
Except it’s not.
Because suddenly everything feels urgent.

5. And then there’s the emotional landmines.

Family stuff. Estrangement. Loss. Loneliness. Pressure to be joyful on command.
This season brings things to the surface like the ghosts of holidays past showed up for a group project.

So if you’re exhausted?
Forgetful?
Behind on everything?
Crying at commercials about soup?
Shoving wrapping paper under the bed and pretending it’s not your problem?

Yeah. Same.
You’re not broken — you’re overloaded.

So what do we DO about it?

(You know… besides giving up and becoming a winter hermit.)

1. Drop the “holiday expectations” bar until it’s at ankle height.

You’re allowed to celebrate at your energy level, not Hallmark’s.

2. Use “do it the lazy way” as your December mantra.

If there’s an easier version of something? Do that.
Frozen food? Yes.
Gift bags instead of wrapping? Absolutely.
Paper plates? You’re doing amazing.

3. Build in tiny pockets of sensory calm.

Dark room + blanket + phone on silent = a spiritual experience.

4. If your brain is spiraling, label it.

“My nervous system is overwhelmed. This isn’t a failure; it’s a signal.”
Boom. Power move.

5. Accept that December brain is a special, limited-edition seasonal disorder.

It’s not you.
It’s the month.

And here’s the part I want you to hear the loudest:

You do not owe December a performance.
You don’t owe tradition your body.
You don’t owe the holiday season a curated, Pinterest-perfect experience.
You owe your life — your REAL life — kindness, rest, and honesty.

If you make it through the month fed, semi-warm, and not buried under gift wrap, congratulations: you won December.

Even if your brain thinks it’s running from a tiger. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

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Times My ADHD Turns Into a Whole Side Quest Every December

JoLeave a comment

Because nothing says “holiday spirit” like getting distracted by something shiny for 47 minutes.

1. When I go to wrap gifts and spend 20 minutes relearning how tape works.

I came here to be festive. I left with tape stuck to my elbow like a badge of incompetence. How’d it get on the cat?

2. When “cleaning for guests” becomes reorganizing a single drawer I haven’t opened since July.

Sure, the rest of the house is still a disaster, but hey — that one drawer is thriving. Bonus point if its a summer clothes drawer because of course I’m behind a whole season.

3. When I open my phone to check the weather and somehow end up reading a deep-dive on Victorian Christmas fruitcake crimes.

Do I know tomorrow’s temperature? Of course not.
Do I know 1800s pastry drama? Absolutely. Internet rabbit holes are my favorite places to spend time I should be using productively on something.

4. When I try to buy stocking stuffers but spend 40 minutes choosing between two nearly identical candles.

Both smell like cinnamon. Both smell like trauma. Why am I like this. I think part of my indecisive freeze up is the overwhelm of smells in that aisle.

5. When I start writing holiday cards and immediately get sucked into redesigning my handwriting.

Suddenly I’m practicing calligraphy like I’m auditioning for the Royal Court. My third cousin will appreciate the readable penmanship and heart doodles.

6. When I go to put leftovers away and end up cleaning the fridge shelf by shelf.

Because obviously THIS was the moment to reevaluate every condiment I own. Then get done and wash my hands only to find the thing I was making room for still there.

7. When one holiday decoration is crooked and suddenly I’m redecorating the entire room.

I blinked and now I’m elbow-deep in a “spontaneous redesign.” My ornaments are not hanging in a pleasing order as I am CONSTANTLY trying to rearrange them to ‘balance it out’.

8. When I sit down to finally relax and immediately decide the bookshelf needs color-coordinating.

My brain: “Rest.”
Also my brain: “Or… reorganize your entire personality via shelf.” Its chaos perfectly encapsulates my life.

9. When I go to pee and somehow come back holding a laundry basket, a snack, and the deep realization that time isn’t real.

Classic. And whats best is to sit down and immediately remember I didnt pee.

10. When a simple online search for a gift turns into reading reviews for products I will never buy.

“Why did I just spend five minutes learning about a blender?”

11. When I try to make a to-do list but end up with three half-lists, two doodles, and a sticky note that says ‘???’

A masterpiece of chaos.
Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.

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Brain Fog: Why Your Brain Suddenly Feels Like Dial-Up Internet

JoLeave a comment

Let’s cut the polite medical fluff and get to the truth:
Brain fog is real, it’s intrusive, and it can make you feel like you’re slowly losing your mind… even though you’re not. We not only deal with it within our illnesses but alot of us have Menopause or Perimenopause right along with these other intrusive issues

And the worst part?
Everything is affected.
Memory, focus, emotional regulation, sleep, language, motivation — pick a brain function, and menopause and Bipolar, ADHD, and Fibro toss a snow globe at it.

You’re not imagining this. And you’re definitely not “lazy” or “slacking” or “not trying hard enough.” What you’re feeling is neurological turbulence, courtesy of hormones that suddenly decided to jump ship without leaving a forwarding address.

Let’s break down what’s actually going on, in normal-human language.

🌡️ What Menopause Brain Fog Actually Is

Imagine your brain has a hype squad.
The leader of that hype squad? Estrogen.

Estrogen talks to your neurotransmitters — the little brain chemicals that run your mood, your focus, and your memory — and keeps them energized and coordinated.

Here are her three favorite teammates:

  • Serotonin → mood, emotional stability
  • Dopamine → motivation, attention, reward
  • Acetylcholine → memory, learning, focus

When estrogen starts dropping during perimenopause and menopause?
The hype squad gets tired. The music cuts out. Everybody forgets the dance.

Suddenly the whole system is like:

“Wait… what were we doing? Why did we walk into the kitchen? Where are my keys? Why can’t I think of that one word? Why does everything feel… slow?”

It’s not subtle. It hits like a grocery cart to the ankles.

🧠 So What Does This Look Like in Real Life?

You may notice:

  • Forgetting basic words you’ve used for 40 years
  • Losing your train of thought mid-sentence
  • Walking into a room and immediately forgetting why
  • Misplacing everything — phone, keys, glasses, sanity
  • Feeling mentally “slower” or foggier than usual
  • Struggling to switch between tasks
  • Needing instructions repeated
  • Finding it harder to learn new things
  • Getting overwhelmed faster than you used to

And then there’s the emotional layer:
You start wondering if you’re declining, losing your edge, or secretly broken.
(You’re not. You’re literally chemically glitching.)

😫 Why It Feels So Big and So Personal

Because menopause doesn’t just change estrogen — it changes sleep, stress hormones, and mood systems too.

Sleep becomes trash.
Night sweats and hot flashes interrupt the hours you do manage to get.
And sleep loss alone slows memory consolidation and attention — for anyone, not just hormonal women.

Add in drops in serotonin and dopamine, and suddenly:

  • You can’t regulate stress as well
  • Motivation takes a hit
  • Focus becomes slippery
  • Everything feels “harder” than it used to

So the fog isn’t coming from one place — it’s coming from everywhere at once.

That’s why it feels overwhelming. That’s why you feel unlike yourself.
That’s why it feels like your brain betrayed you.

🧬 The Science Behind It (In Actual Plain English)

Two big findings from research you can quote, cite, tattoo, whatever you need:

1. Menopause measurably affects memory and cognitive performance.

Large studies show that during the menopause transition, women experience real, trackable dips in memory, attention, and verbal fluency — especially when hormones fluctuate the most.
(SWAN Study – Greendale et al., 2010)

2. Estrogen plays a major role in protecting attention and memory systems.

Estrogen directly affects acetylcholine and dopamine — the same systems involved in memory, focus, and mental clarity.
When estrogen falls, those systems weaken, and cognitive symptoms follow.
(Sherwin, 2012)

This isn’t a personality flaw.
It’s biology.

❤️ You’re Not Failing — Your Brain Is Rewriting Its Operating System

Seriously — if your computer said “installing major update… do not shut down,” you’d expect things to be weird for a while.

That’s menopause.

Your brain is recalibrating.
Your hormones are rebalancing.
Your neurotransmitters are trying to remember their choreography.

You’re not broken.
You’re not incompetent.
You’re not “losing it.”

You’re adapting to a massive physiological shift that affects everyone going through it — but nobody talks about enough. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.

Greendale GA, et al. The menopause transition and cognitive performance: the Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation (SWAN). Menopause. 2010;17(4):910–917.

Sherwin BB. Estrogen and cognitive functioning in women: lessons we have learned. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2012;37(8):1287–1295.

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Small Joys That Keep Me (Barely) Functioning During the Holidays

JoLeave a comment
Look, every year someone says, “The holidays are magical!” and every year I look around like… For who?
Because for me, the season is a chaotic blend of twinkle lights, fatigue, sentimental panic, and 47 attempts at making the house smell like cinnamon instead of “I have cats.”

But I’ll give the holidays this much: for all the overwhelm, they also come with these tiny, perfect moments of joy that make me feel a little more alive, a little more grounded, and a little less like I’m being held together solely by caffeine and willpower.

So here are 10 small joys that genuinely keep me going this time of year — and yes, some of them sparkle.

1. The First Cup of Hot Coffee That Actually Stays Hot

A Christmas miracle. I guard it like it’s the last cookie at a family gathering and someone’s aggressive aunt is eyeing it.
When that steam hits my face, I swear my soul reboots and loads the “functional adult” software… well, the demo version.

2. Lights Everywhere

String lights make everything feel magical. Even the laundry basket. Even me at 2 a.m. wandering around like a caffeinated raccoon.
And honestly? The sparkle and soft colors genuinely lift my mood. Everything looks a little softer, a little gentler, like my house is wrapped in a sweet, glowy filter that kindly ignores the chaos.

3. A Candle That Smells Like “I Tried”

Anything labeled “Winter Forest,” “Holiday Hearth,” or “Doing My Best, Okay?” works.
One sniff and suddenly I’m imagining myself as a cozy cottage witch who has her life together… please do NOT break the spell by looking at the sink.

4. When One Gift Arrives Early and Makes You Feel ‘Ahead’

Do I use this false sense of competence to procrastinate everything else? Absolutely.
But for those few days, that single wrapped present on the counter is my trophy for “Attempted Adulthood.” I bask in it like a lizard under a heat lamp. The probably I encounter is I DO buy early…. but then either completely forget I did and rebuy the same item OR I find deals I can’t pass up because I don’t remember I have already done that dance lol.

5. That One Holiday Playlist That Lives Rent-Free in Your Brain

Mariah Carey has officially defrosted, and the world trembles.
Meanwhile, I’m badly harmonizing to “Last Christmas” like I’m auditioning for a musical no one invited me to. Still—serotonin is serotonin. George Michael melts my heart and always will. Wham for life lol.

6. A Cozy Blanket That Doubles as Emotional Armor

This blanket sees all. It absorbs tears, crumbs, and existential crises without judgment.
I wear it around like a cloak of comfort, a soft little shield against the overstimulation of December. Protection against any threat to my happiness and holiday warmth. I’m in my cocoon.

7. A Clean-ish Corner of the House

NOT the whole house — let’s stay realistic.
Just a single corner where I can take photos and pretend everything is under control. My personal “illusion of competence” corner. Everyone should have one. Family pics are problematic. Who cares if the blank wall make it looks like a hostage video, they are fine I promise LOL.

8. Snacks You Don’t Have to Share

Especially the good holiday snacks. These are mine, and I will defend them with dragon-level energy.
Peppermint bark? Hidden. Cinnamon rolls? Protected by divine right. Gingerbread cookies? You didn’t even see them.

9. A Hobby That Makes You Feel Like a Person

Whatever sparks joy — baking, knitting, reorganizing the spice cabinet alphabetically at 3 a.m., doomscrolling.
For me, having a little project or creative moment reminds me I’m an actual human being, not just a walking to-do list with feelings.

10. Cute Little Decorations That Make the Season Bright

Tiny things that glow or shimmer give me the same serotonin burst as finding money in an old coat pocket.
(And yes, this is where I casually mention I made some minimalist 3D printed ornaments that absolutely sparkle when the tree lights hit them — because even in chaos, a little shimmer helps.)

So yeah, the holidays are a lot. A lot a lot. But in between the exhaustion, the sensory overload, and the “why did I say yes to this?” moments, there are these small yet wildly comforting bits of magic that make the season feel survivable — sometimes even beautiful.

And if you’re someone who’s also living off tiny joys, caffeine, and chaos? Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.

(P.S. If you want to peek at the ornaments I mentioned, they’re right here — but no pressure. They just happen to look ridiculously pretty on a tree.)

Ornaments

https://www.etsy.com/listing/4410045095/minimalist-christmas-ornament