Tag: #RelatableAF

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7 Conversations I’ve Had With Myself This Week

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Look, I talk to myself. A lot. And not in the cute “oh, I’m just thinking out loud” way that neurotypical people do. I’m talking full-blown conversations, complete with tone changes, arguments, and occasionally losing said arguments to myself. If you have ADHD, chronic illness, or just a generally chaotic brain, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Here are seven actual conversations I’ve had with myself this week. I’m not proud of most of them, but I’m also not surprised by any of them.

1. The Medication Negotiation

Me at 8 AM: “Okay, time to take your pills.”

Also me: “But do I really NEED them today? I feel fine.”

Me: “You feel fine BECAUSE of the pills, you absolute potato.”

Also me: “But what if I’ve been healed by positive thinking and I don’t need them anymore?”

Me: “We’ve been through this. Take the damn pills.”

Also me: “Fine, but I’m not happy about it.”

[Takes pills]

Me, two hours later when brain fog hits: “Why didn’t I take my pills on time?”

Also me: “…We literally just had this conversation.”

2. The Food Decision Paralysis

Me, standing in kitchen: “I should eat something.”

Also me: “Agreed. What do we want?”

Me: “I don’t know, what sounds good?”

Also me: “Nothing sounds good.”

Me: “Okay, what do we HAVE?”

Also me: “Everything and nothing.”

Me: “That’s not helpful.”

Also me: “Neither is staring into the fridge like it’s going to solve our problems.”

Me: “What if we just eat cereal again?”

Also me: “We had cereal for dinner last night.”

Me: “Your point?”

[Grabs bowl]

3. The Task Initiation Battle

Me: “I need to start that thing.”

Also me: “Which thing?”

Me: “You know, THE thing. The important thing.”

Also me: “Oh right. When are we doing that?”

Me: “Now. We’re doing it now.”

Also me: “But first, let me just check my phone real quick.”

Me: “NO. We’re not doing this.”

Also me: “Just one quick scroll.”

Me: “It’s never one quick scroll and you know it.”

Also me: “But what if someone texted us?”

Me: “They didn’t.”

Also me: “But what if they did and it’s urgent?”

Me: “FINE. Five minutes.”

[Three hours later]

Me: “We never started the thing, did we?”

Also me: “…In our defense, we learned a lot about seahorse reproduction.”

4. The Sleep Schedule Delusion

Me at 9 PM: “We should go to bed.”

Also me: “But I’m not tired.”

Me: “We’re never tired at bedtime. That’s literally our thing.”

Also me: “What if tonight is different?”

Me: “It’s not. Go to bed.”

Also me: “But what if I just scroll for a bit and THEN go to bed?”

Me: “That has literally never worked.”

Also me: “There’s a first time for everything.”

[At 2 AM]

Me: “I hate us.”

Also me: “Same.”

5. The Executive Function Check-In

Me: “Have we showered today?”

Also me: “…Define ‘today.'”

Me: “The current 24-hour period.”

Also me: “Then no.”

Me: “What about yesterday?”

Also me: “I plead the fifth.”

Me: “We need to shower.”

Also me: “That sounds like a lot of steps.”

Me: “It’s literally just standing in water.”

Also me: “Yeah, but first we have to DECIDE to shower, then remember to shower, then actually GET IN the shower, then remember what order the shower things go in…”

Me: “Okay I see your point.”

Also me: “Plus we’d have to find a clean towel.”

Me: “Never mind. We’ll shower tomorrow.”

Also me: “Bold of you to assume tomorrow will be any different.”

6. The Pain Scale Debate

Me: “Ow.”

Also me: “What’s the pain level?”

Me: “I don’t know, like a 6?”

Also me: “Is it though? Remember that time we thought 7 was bad and then we had that 9?”

Me: “Good point. Maybe it’s a 5.”

Also me: “But if it’s a 5, should we take pain meds?”

Me: “I don’t know, what if it gets worse and we already used up our meds?”

Also me: “But what if we DON’T take meds and it gets worse anyway?”

Me: “What if we just suffer through it and prove we’re tough?”

Also me: “That sounds like internalized ableism.”

Me: “You’re right. Okay, taking meds.”

Also me: “Wait, did we already take meds today?”

Me: “…I don’t remember.”

Also me: “Cool, cool. This is fine. Everything is fine.”

7. The Bedtime Existential Crisis

Me at 1 AM: “Why are we like this?”

Also me: “Like what?”

Me: “You know… LIKE THIS. The chaos. The forgetting. The talking to ourselves at 1 AM.”

Also me: “It’s not our fault our brain is wired differently.”

Me: “I know, but sometimes I wish we were just… normal.”

Also me: “Normal people are boring.”

Me: “Normal people remember to pay bills on time.”

Also me: “Okay, fair point.”

Me: “Normal people don’t have to negotiate with themselves about basic tasks.”

Also me: “But would we really want to be normal if it meant losing our creativity? Our hyperfocus superpowers? Our ability to make connections nobody else sees?”

Me: “…Are you just trying to make us feel better?”

Also me: “Is it working?”

Me: “A little.”

Also me: “Then yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

Me: “We should probably go to sleep.”

Also me: “Agreed. Right after we Google one quick thing.”

Me: “We both know that’s a lie.”

Also me: “And yet here we are.”

The Conclusion I Didn’t Ask For

The truth is, talking to myself has become such a normal part of my life that I forget other people don’t do this. Or at least, they don’t do it out loud. Or with multiple distinct personalities arguing about whether cereal counts as dinner.

But here’s the thing: these internal (and sometimes external) conversations are how my brain processes things. It’s how I work through decisions, remember tasks, and occasionally talk myself into doing basic human functions like showering and eating vegetables.

Is it weird? Absolutely. Is it exhausting? You have no idea. Would I change it if I could?

Ask me again after I’ve had some sleep. And by sleep, I mean after I finish this one last Google search about whether other people have full conversations with themselves or if I should be concerned. Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other.

[Spoiler alert: I Googled it. It’s apparently normal. We’re fine. Probably.]

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Reasons I Walked Into This Room (Spoiler: I Still Don’t Know)

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An ADHD mystery in real time

Here I am, standing in my bedroom, looking around like I’ve never seen this place before in my life. I definitely had a purpose when I left the kitchen. I was very determined. I had INTENT.

Now? I got nothing.

What I Tell Myself It Might Have Been:

  1. To get my phone charger
    (Nope my phone is at 97%)
  2. To grab that important document I need
    (what document? for what? the mystery deepens)
  3. To put away that thing I left in here yesterday
    (what thing? which yesterday? time is a construct)
  4. To check if I left my coffee cup in here
    (I’m not even drinking coffee today)
  5. To get something for my kid who asked for… something
    (they’re at school. it’s Tuesday. I think.)
  6. To turn off a light that was bothering me
    (all the lights are off. it’s 2 PM. I’m questioning reality)
  7. To find my glasses
    (they’re on my head. they’ve been on my head this entire time)
  8. To get that book I was reading
    (I haven’t touched a book in three weeks, what am I even talking about)
  9. To look for my keys so I don’t lose them later
    (they’re in my pocket. jingling. mocking me)

The Actual Reason:

I followed the cat.

The cat had no destination either.

We’re both just standing here now, equally confused, staring at each other and wondering what we’re doing with our lives. At least the cat has an excuse – he’s a cat. His life goals include knocking things off counters, judging my life choices, and staring at invisible things on the wall.

I’m a grown adult who apparently takes navigation cues from a creature whose biggest daily decision is which sunny spot to nap in.

Current Status:

Still in the room. Still don’t know why. The cat has moved on to more important cat business (aggressive grooming of one specific paw). I’m considering asking him for directions back to whatever I was originally doing, but he’s giving me that look that says, “Figure it out yourself, human. I’m not your GPS.”

Maybe I’ll just stay here forever. Set up camp. Make this room my new home base. At least then when people ask “Why are you in here?” I can say “I live here now. This is my life. The cat is my roommate. We don’t ask questions.”

Anyone else take mystery tours of their own house, or is it just me and my feline guide to nowhere?

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Lessons from a Neurospicy Household

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(Or: Things I’ve Learned the Hard Way and Now Pass Off as Wisdom)

1️⃣ If you open the dishwasher to “just add one thing,” congratulations. You now live here.
Ownership transfers upon entry. If you can’t fill it, go check your room. I know you dont eat in there as a general rule but go look and see if the random missing spoon is hanging out with the stray socks in their hideout.

2️⃣ “We’ll deal with it later” is a valid strategy until further notice.
No one said when later is. Legally, you’re covered. Until 5 pm when all the things you were going to do catch up and your teenager is asking why something isnt done to their exacting standards.

3️⃣ Matching socks are a social construct.
As are bedtimes, sanity, and tidy junk drawers. For socks, maybe track some other missing stuff (like the spoon from before), I swear theres a Narnia or hiding dimension.

4️⃣ No one has ever truly recovered from stepping on a rogue Lego.
We carry these wounds in silence. And orthopedic inserts. My kitty in the sky Bonkers used to sleep on them, a full bucket without the lid, weirdo. Miss you little dude but thanks for sending me Fryday who amuses me endlessly, but I still miss you!

5️⃣ If you set something down ‘just for a second,’ it’s gone forever.
Gone to the shadow realm. Gone where keys and pens go to die. See narnia, also with socks and spoons. And the tupperware lids vs tupperware ratio is always uneven so I blame them too.

6️⃣ Your brain will retain the lyrics to a 1997 boy band hit but not why you walked into the room.
Priorities. We don’t make the rules. Its tearing up my heart that you don’t ‘remember the time’ you walked into a room and left with exactly what you walked in there for but honestly ‘bye bye bye’ to that dream because honestly we’re ‘never gonna get it no never gonna get it’

7️⃣ Snacks are sacred.
Do not touch another’s designated snack without first drafting a formal agreement and receiving notarized consent. I think it sucks so much worse when you crave a texture and have no food with that texture available. Like I hate it when I bring home fresh baked goods because I can only eat one every few days or I forget its there. I MIGHT get one. Vultures.

8️⃣ If the ADHD person in your house starts cleaning, DO NOT INTERRUPT.
You’re witnessing a natural phenomenon rarer than a solar eclipse. Often whats good is pulling up a rag and joining them, not that you need to do any of the cleaning, they’ll do it but they will do it alot faster if you join them.

9️⃣ We don’t do ‘normal’ here.
We tried. It was exhausting. Weird is cheaper and fits better. I have discussed this at length, I know the name is deceiving because I love being weird and don’t want any part of me normal lol. There was a time I did strive to an impossibly high level too. That me burned herself out a decade ago.

🔟 The motto remains: Lower the bar, keep the vibe.
Survival with style. That’s the goal. Often its just survival.

Closing Thought:

Some houses run on routine, others run on vibes and caffeine.
Guess which one we are. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

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Top 10 Things I’ve Googled This Week as a Chronically Ill, Neurospicy Parent

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(aka “This Is Not a Cry for Help, But Also… Send Snacks?”)

  • “Why does my hip make that sound?”
    Its not so much a pop as it is a crackle, I feel like the Rice Crispies guys are hiding somewhere.
  • “How to explain sarcasm to a teenager who is now more sarcastic than me”
    It took forever for her to ‘get it’ (she’d say, is that sarcasm? every time we laugh at a joke) now she is almost more sarcastic than me. Almost lol.
  • “Can I survive on toaster waffles and spite?”
    No? Coca cola and contempt? Those are my wheelhouse.
  • “What does executive dysfunction look like in adults asking for a friend (it’s me)”
    Pretty sure I dissociated so hard I time-traveled. I came to around dinner like, wait… where did the day go?
  • “Symptoms of burnout vs laziness vs demonic possession”
    Spoiler: It was burnout. But let’s be honest, if a demon was possessing me, they’d at least fold the laundry

  • “How to nicely ask your teen to shower without being emotionally attacked”
    “I tried ‘Would you like a shower now or in 10 minutes?’ and still got hit with the emotional equivalent of a boss battle I didn’t consent to

  • “How long is too long to wait for meds to kick in before giving up on the day?”
    Asking for science. But also for vibes. Because the vibes are off and so is my serotonin.
  • “How to turn rage-cleaning into a workout”
    If slamming laundry baskets and scrubbing with vengeance burned calories, I’d be shredded by now.
  • “Can fidget toys fix my life or is that false advertising?”
    Look, they may not fix it — but they do keep me from sending That Text™ or scream-cleaning my kitchen.
  • “Is it normal to cry over spilled resin?”
    Normal? No clue. But between the cost, the smell, and the emotional spiral? Yeah. Very on brand.


Living with chronic illness, ADHD, and a teenager is like being the main character in a sitcom written by the universe when it was feeling particularly chaotic. But hey — at least I’m not boring.

BRB, googling if emotional support waffles are a thing. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.

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My Brain Buffering: A Love Letter to the Thoughts I Forgot Mid-Sentence

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Let’s be honest: if forgetting what you were saying mid-thought was an Olympic sport, I’d have gold medals in every category. Freestyle Rambling. Synchronized Brain Fog. And my personal favorite: Disappearing Train of Thought With a Triple Mental Backflip.

People say “don’t be so hard on yourself,” and I’m like—buddy, I’m not. I’m just trying to remember what I came into this room for. And repeatedly. I’m not being ‘so hard’ on myself, I’d say I’m at least the appropriate level of hardness if not under lol

Somewhere between ADHD, fibromyalgia fog, bipolar whiplash, and a few hundred browser tabs in my brain, my inner monologue starts to sound like a dial-up modem trying to load a YouTube video. In 2003. On satellite internet. In a thunderstorm. A mile and a half down a country dirt road where theres NOTHING for miles

🧠 Exhibit A: “What Was I Saying?”

It’s not even a joke anymore. I’ll be mid-conversation, completely coherent, and suddenly—boom. Blank screen. I can literally see the words running off a cliff like cartoon lemmings.

“Wait—what was I saying?”

No really. What was I saying? I know its annoying to you, do you know how annoying it is and how much I absolutely hate the part of my brain thats supposed to remember things? Me and my brain are in an absolute love/hate relationship and we are definitely in our Hate each other era.

🤯 Fibro Fog: Not Just a Myth, Unfortunately

If you’ve never tried to function while your entire nervous system is on delay like it’s waiting for subtitles, congratulations—you’re not me. Fibro fog isn’t just forgetfulness. It’s walking into a room and standing there like you’re the main character in a slow-motion scene… except no one yelled “Action,” and you definitely missed your cue.

My body hurts, my thoughts hurt, my hair hurts, and occasionally my elbow forgets how to be an elbow. But hey, at least I still remember none of my passwords!

🎢 Bipolar Bonus: Now With Extra Whiplash!

Imagine being hyperfocused on color-coding your sock drawer one minute, then sobbing because your spoon fell on the floor the next. Now toss in some guilt about not replying to texts from 2017, and you’ve got the Bipolar Expansion Pack.

Highs that make you reorganize your pantry at 2 a.m., lows that make brushing your hair feel like a heroic feat. All while your memory plays musical chairs.

💁‍♀️ So What’s the Point?

The point is: if you’re out here trying your best with a glitchy brain, a misfiring mood system, and a body that acts like it was coded in beta—you’re not alone. You’re in deeply relatable, exhausted, beautifully chaotic company.

Some days I cry over spilled plans. Some days I laugh at my own internal commentary. And most days, I absolutely forget what I was saying.

But I’m still here. Still making stuff. Still showing up. Even if it’s ten minutes late and I forgot to put on pants. Til next time guys, take care of yourselves, and each other.

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When Words Go Whoosh:

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The Hilarious Hiccups of Auditory Processing

Hey, fellow brain-glitch aficionados! Ever find yourself nodding along in a conversation, when—BAM!—your brain decides to take an impromptu vacation? Welcome to the wild world of auditory processing mishaps!

What’s Happening Up There?
Picture your brain as a super-slick computer. It normally takes in sound, converts it to signals, and serves up meaning faster than you can say “What?” But sometimes, it’s like trying to untangle last year’s Christmas lights: messy and confusing.

The Science-y Bit (Don’t Worry, It’s Fun)
This little brain hiccup is known as Auditory Processing Disorder (APD). It’s when your brain’s sound system decides to prank you. One minute you’re fine, and the next, you’re wondering if everyone around you started speaking Klingon. This little brain hiccup is known as Auditory Processing Disorder (APD). When you have APD, your brain struggles to process the sounds it hears correctly. It’s like if you were listening to music and the song kept skipping, leaving you wondering what just happened.

The brain processes sound in a specific order: first, the ear detects sound waves, then sends electrical signals to the brain. The auditory cortex takes those signals and decodes them into speech and meaning. Simple, right? But when there’s a glitch in that system, you might hear everything perfectly fine, but your brain just can’t put it together the way it’s supposed to. I know for me, it just takes my brain a little extra time to make the words known to my brain. Like my husband can talk, and I swear to you it sounds like Charlie Brown’s adults ‘wha whaaa wha waa wha’ lol, so I will ask for repeats or clarifications, then as he is talking, I understand what they said a minute ago and I have a comment about it. I have a bad habit of interrupting people, I am trying to stop, but I KNOW if I keep my comment to myself theres a 95% chance I will forget (and if I do I’m sorry and that will make me even MORE mad at my misfiring brain, its a perpetual state of loathing)

Fun Fact: Studies suggest that around 5% of children have some form of APD, and it often goes undiagnosed, leaving kids (and adults) in a perpetual state of “Huh?”

Signs You’re Having an Auditory Adventure:

  • Words suddenly sound like gibberish. (Is this what babies feel like all the time?)
  • You catch yourself saying “Huh?” more than a confused owl.
  • You’re nodding and smiling, hoping no one realizes you’re lost in auditory space.

The Plot Twist: When You’re the One Speaking
Irony strikes! Sometimes, your own words decide to play hide and seek in your brain. It’s like your thoughts are sprinting while your mouth is stuck in quicksand. So embarrassing and happens at least once per conversation

Why Does This Happen?


Fatigue: When you’re running low on energy, your brain can’t work at full capacity. Studies have shown that fatigue can slow down the brain’s ability to process auditory information. It can slow down the brains ability to process any information actually. Essentially, your brain starts skipping steps in its usual routine—like a tired computer processing instructions slower than usual. According to research, lack of sleep (or chronic sleep deprivation) can decrease the brain’s ability to filter out irrelevant sounds, leading to auditory processing issues.


Stress: Ever notice how hard it is to concentrate when you’re stressed? Well, turns out your brain is sort of like a nervous multitasker. When you’re under stress, your brain’s focus shifts to dealing with the stressor (like an impending deadline or an important meeting) and less on the conversation happening around you. Research from the American Psychological Association has found that chronic stress can affect how the brain processes auditory stimuli by overloading the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for attention and processing language.


Sensory Overload: Your brain is constantly bombarded with sensory information—sounds, sights, smells, you name it. When too much sensory input floods in at once, your brain can have a “processing jam.” Think of it like trying to run too many apps at once on your phone. Research has shown that sensory overload, especially in noisy environments, can make it harder for your brain to filter and focus on the important sounds (like someone speaking to you), causing a breakdown in auditory processing. Studies also show that people with APD are more sensitive to background noise, which exacerbates this issue.

Coping Strategies (or “How to Pretend You’re Still on Earth”)

  • The classic “Could you repeat that?” (Works 60% of the time.)
  • Blame it on a sudden case of daydreaming (who doesn’t love a good daydreamer?)
  • Master the art of the vague response: “Wow, that’s really something!” Practice the smile and nod.

Remember, you’re not alone in this auditory obstacle course. So next time your brain takes an unscheduled break, just smile and laugh—it’s too short not to!

Take care, stay quirky, and make sure to be good to each other! Don’t forget to spread the kindness and love, to yourselves and each other! (George is around btw he says hi. I was going to post a picture of George and Georgina they are always playing with their kids in my yard, I’ll get one soon!)