Tag: rsd

Uncategorized

Navigating the Chaos of RSD: A Beautiful Disaster’s Guide

JoLeave a comment

So I talked the other day about RSD, which is a bastard that I’m currently fighting with RIGHT NOW in my head. If you experience RSD, save this post. Save my email. In particular save some of these solutions to help you when your brain tries to make you hate yourself.
Let’s dive into how to wrangle this RSD beast without completely losing our shit. These thoughts can hit like a freight train full of emotional baggage, making it a real bitch to keep your cool in social situations. But don’t worry, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve that might just save your sanity.



Self-Compassion (AKA Don’t Be an Asshole to Yourself)
Cut yourself some slack, for fuck’s sake. Everyone gets rejected sometimes – it doesn’t mean you’re a walking dumpster fire. Try talking to yourself like you would to your best friend after a bad breakup. “Hey, you may be a mess right now but you’re still awesome even if that person didn’t see it.” Constant struggle, often you will have to love yourself for trying enough to let go.


Reality Check (Or: Is Your Brain Bullshitting You?)

Before you spiral into the abyss, ask yourself if there’s actual evidence for your fears or if you’re just being a drama queen. Maybe, just maybe, your brain is playing tricks on you. “Okay, they’re 5 minutes late. Does that really mean they hate me, or am I just catastrophizing again?” The only flaw in this logic is when your brain doesn’t let the logical side of your brain kick in because it actually believes the bad shit. You are not who you were and your value doesnt diminish based on what you can and can’t do for someone else.



Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation (Zen and the Art of Not Losing Your Shit)

Try some mindfulness crap to stay grounded. Deep breathing or muscle relaxation can help when you feel like you’re about to go off the deep end. It’s like hitting the pause button on your brain’s chaos for a hot minute. Again, the logical side of you will see this. Listening and believing that it will pass might take some intentional steps like sitting in front of the mirror multiple times a day feeling stupid but in kind words, let the feelings out. Alone even. But say the words out loud, meditate on them if you need to, the best you can do is only so much, sometimes you will fuck everything up, sometimes you CAN’T fix things, thats part of the process, you have to own it to let it go.


Reframe That Shit

Try to see rejection as a learning experience. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of saying “Not this asshole, try again.” Look back at times when rejection led to something better – they exist, I promise. Remember when that job rejection led you to an even better opportunity? Yeah, like that. One door closes but another one you couldnt see is waiting for you. Or maybe you just learn what not to do, everything is a lesson if you frame it as such.


Phone a Friend (Or a Therapist, We Don’t Judge)

Talk to someone who gets it. Sometimes you need an outside perspective to remind you you’re not actually the worst person ever. Join a support group and find your tribe of fellow beautiful disasters. Misery loves company, right? It helps to know you’re not alone in this.


Level Up Your Coping Skills

Find healthy ways to distract yourself or solve problems. Maybe take up kickboxing to punch out your frustrations, or learn to bake so you can stress-eat in style. Channel that energy somewhere useful instead of letting it eat you alive. I often stack on the hobbies, sometimes I have to be writing and listening to late night monologues on you tube and have the news or a game on just to shut up that nagging inner voice that says I’m not good enough. Most days that works


Get Real with Your Expectations

News flash: not every interaction is gonna be rainbows and unicorns. It’s normal to face some rejection in life, even if it feels like getting punched in the gut. Lower that bar a bit, and you might just find yourself pleasantly surprised. Nothing is ever perfect even if it feels like it at the time and thats not even factoring in the other persons reactions maybe they are as awkward as you!



Focus on You, You Magnificent Mess
Work on becoming the badass you want to be. Set some goals and crush them. Nothing builds confidence like proving yourself wrong. “Oh, I can’t do that? Watch me, bitch.” Start by taking account of what you have control over. Thats where you can start. Once you are cognitively aware of what is under your power to do, set a reminder daily to remind yourself, that will help a lot with the expectations and being grounded, but its something you have to commit to taking honest stock in yourself and situations impacting your life.


Curate Your Circle (AKA Ditch the Toxic Assholes)


Surround yourself with people who aren’t total jerks. Limit time with folks who make you feel like crap. Life’s too short for that bullshit. Find your people – the ones who get your brand of crazy and love you anyway. We all have to deal with people in the real world that just rub us the wrong way or are unpleasant. Limit your interactions and while you are not seeing them, think of things you have in common with them so that your next interaction stays controllable and tolerable on your end.


Consider Professional Help (Because Sometimes We All Need a Brain Tune-Up)


Therapy can be a game-changer. CBT might help you rewire that brain of yours to be less of an asshole to you. It’s like getting an oil change for your mind – sometimes you need a professional to keep things running smoothly. Its every few years instead of mileage and it never hurts to have a check in just to keep things running smoothly


Remember, rejection sucks donkey balls, but you’ve got this. You’re tougher than you think, you magnificent mess. These strategies won’t make rejection a walk in the park, but they might just help you navigate this emotional minefield without completely losing your marbles. And hey, if all else fails, there’s always wine and Netflix. No judgment here. Maybe a gummie for me since I don’t drink Til next time guys, take care of yourself, and each other

Uncategorized

Roller Coaster of Rejection: Navigating RSD with ADHD

JoLeave a comment

Alright, you beautiful disasters, strap in for a wild ride through the shit show that is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) with ADHD. RSD refers to an intense emotional response or pain triggered by feelings of perceived rejection, criticism, or failure. It is commonly associated with conditions like ADHD and is characterized by an extreme sensitivity to perceived interpersonal rejection or negative feedback. This emotional response can be disproportionate to the situation and may manifest as feelings of deep hurt, sadness, anger, or even physical discomfort in response to what others might consider minor or routine interactions. It’s like emotional Russian roulette, but instead of a bullet, it’s loaded with crippling self-doubt and the overwhelming urge to crawl into a hole and die. I think to a degree we all fall somewhere in the grey area on RSD, none of us are exactly overjoyed with criticism, but for people with RSD, that critique doesn’t just glance off the ego like a missed catch, it bowls us over like a cannon ball to the gut.

Picture this: You’re strutting through life, feeling like hot shit, when BAM! Someone doesn’t immediately want to be your best friend, and suddenly you’re spiraling faster than a drunk squirrel on a merry-go-round. Welcome to the fucked-up world of RSD, where every minor setback feels like the universe is personally telling you to go fuck yourself. (This is George’s girlfriend Gracie. She likes to get a little bit tipsy)

RSD, or as I lovingly call it, the “Why Does Everyone Hate Me?” syndrome, is like having a superpower you never asked for and definitely don’t want. It’s not just feeling a bit bummed when things don’t go your way. Oh no, it’s a full-on emotional tsunami that leaves you wondering if you should just say “fuck it” and become a hermit in the woods.

The experts (bless their hearts for trying to understand our chaos) reckon RSD is our brain’s way of saying, “Hey, let’s make this bitch suffer!” It’s often found partying hard with its BFF, ADHD, like two drunk frat boys wreaking havoc on your emotional stability. Why? Because apparently, our brains are wired to be drama queens. So next time you’re ugly crying because your cat looked at you funny, remember – it’s not you, it’s your fucked-up neural pathways!

Living with RSD is like trying to navigate a minefield while drunk and blindfolded. You never know when some innocent comment will trigger a meltdown that makes soap opera stars look emotionally stable. But don’t worry, there are coping strategies! Take a deep breath (or chug a glass of wine, no judgment here), remind yourself that not everyone is plotting your demise, and maybe invest in a punching bag for those moments when you need to physically beat the shit out of your feelings.
In conclusion, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is the uninvited asshole at your emotional party – it shows up unannounced, drinks all your booze, and leaves you questioning your life choices. But hey, it’s a reminder that our brains are wonderfully fucked up, even if they sometimes make us feel like we’re starring in our own personal tragicomedy.So, the next time RSD comes knocking, tell it to fuck right off, grab some popcorn (or tequila), and enjoy the shitshow. Remember, you’re not alone on this batshit crazy roller coaster of rejection. We’re all in this together, you magnificent train wrecks!And that’s a fucking wrap! Til next time gang, take care of yourself, and each other! (BTW George asked if you’d keep an eye out for Gracie, he lost track of her after she put the lamp shade on her head and started singing Milkshake!)

Uncategorized

R.S.D….elightful!

JoLeave a comment

For years, rejection has been a constant presence and the fear of it hindered many important moments in my life, if only I’d known how common of a thing it was, maybe I could have talked with someone who would have understood, made myself feel a little less isolated. So tonight I wanted to talk a little bit about something I wish I knew then, maybe if someone else is aware of it they could be like OMG ME TOO! And feel at least a little less alone.

For many with ADHD, even minor incidents of perceived rejection can trigger an overwhelming flood of negative emotions that feel utterly unbearable. This phenomenon, known as rejection sensitive dysphoria or RSD, causes what should be a mild feeling of disappointment or sadness to escalate rapidly into intense emotional agony.

The dysphoria from RSD is described as a “wounded” feeling, where the emotional pain and hurt from the rejection consumes every thought. It’s not just being sad or upset – it’s a visceral, physical sensation of being acutely injured by the rejection. Small critiques or casual teasing that would roll off most people’s backs can send the ADHD brain spiraling into self-loathing, anxiety, depression and even anger or lashing out.

This emotional dysregulation and inability to keep emotions within a normal range is thought to be hard-wired into the ADHD brain. The regions that regulate emotional responses and pain perception may be wired differently, causing the brain to treat perceived rejection as incredibly painful, personal attacks rather than minor slights. What feels like a subtle social cue to others is processed as deep, searing rejection.

ADHD brains are also more sensitive to dopamine levels, the neurotransmitter linked to motivation and reward. So rejection feels more punishing, with the sting of failure and negative reinforcement hitting harder. This hypersensitivity fuels the RSD response, where any critique or rejection is blown out of proportion into something viscerally agonizing.

While everyone dislikes rejection, the RSD reaction goes far beyond the typical human experience. It’s a level of emotional turmoil described as “unbearable” and “devastating” by those who suffer from it. Managing these intense emotions is one of the most disruptive and impairing aspects of living with ADHD.
Til next time gang, you know what to do.

Uncategorized

Emotional Yo-yo AKA Don’t like my attitude? Give it 3 minutes, it’ll change

JoLeave a comment

I had a topic picked for today, for days really, but it’s deeply personal and today I’ve already cried over three commercials and once cuz I was pissed off, so I’m going to wait on that one, I feel too vulnerable. So instead, why don’t we talk about one of the middle symptoms in my ven diagram of my illnesses (its also a common comorbidity of autism, so I am getting it from all sides folks) its called Emotional Dysregulation.

What IS emotional dysregulation? Emotional dysregulation is like having your emotions go on a rollercoaster ride without your consent. You know, it’s when you struggle to keep those feelings in check and end up reacting in ways that might seem a bit over-the-top to others. It’s like your emotions are playing tug-of-war with you, making everyday situations feel like a big deal. And it’s not just about feeling all the feels, but also struggling with how to respond appropriately. Think of it as your emotional volume knob stuck on high, making it tough to keep things chill when you need to. And hey, it’s often buddies with executive dysfunction, so they like to hang out together, but we’ll dive into that one another time.

In Bipolar Mania, this is going to be like someone put a rocket booster in your brain and lit the fuse. One minute you’re feeling energetic and euphoric, making grandiose plans to start 17 new business ventures. The next, you’re sobbing uncontrollably because a Geico commercial reminded you of that goldfish you killed in 3rd grade. Your moods careen so violently, loved ones get whiplash just watching. It’s a real hoot when the mania convinces you that you’re a world-renowned painter, so you “decorate” the living room walls with your…unique…art. Its ok guys, mine just makes me think I write anything worth reading LOL.

In ADHD you are going to recognize this as more like having a nuclear meltdown at the sight of a mildly inconvenient traffic jam. You go from 0 to rage monster in 3.5 seconds over something as minor as the remote being lost. Then just as quickly, you’re cackling at internet memes, having completely forgotten what set you off. Your emotional outbursts are so disproportionate and fleeting, it’s like watching a moody toddler control the weather. Things that are of vital importance RIGHT NOW suddenly don’t seem like a big deal especially after thinking of all the work involved. Its not that I’m lazy its just there are days when I think all the thoughts and there are days where I will work myself to exhaustion and bleeding to avoid thinking ANY thoughts. Its a delight really lol.

Fibromyalgia brings a special kind of emotional chaos. You wake up feeling somewhat human, but by noon, the brain fog has you zoning out mid-sentence while describing your weekend. Nobody I’m talking to can possibly be more pissed at me zoning out than me, so often times I will catch myself and not say anything, because when I do then the person I’m talking to just gets annoyed at me whereas my way I only annoy myself. Though it does mean I miss whole convos, so eventually it comes out that I totally spaced it so I guess either way I’m pissing people off. By 2pm, you’re snapping at loved ones over the slightest noise because everything is exacerbating your body’s pain signals. But then a good cry sesh has you feeling marginally better, so you impulsively buy yourself 10 shirts because they are a good deal in bulk. An emotional rollercoaster where the only consistent thing is inconsistency.

Now take all three of those delightful experiences and put them in a blender – that’s the big mood gumbo you get with comorbid bipolar, ADHD and fibromyalgia. One second you’re manically rearranging the furniture and rapidly rambling business plans. The next you’re lashing out at your spouse for daring to breathe too loudly near your full-body ache-fest. Throw in some weepy fibro fog where you forget what you’re upset about, and baby, you’ve got a stew going!

And lets not forget I’m navigating around a moody autistic teenager thats dealing with her own emotional dysregulation. In her that can present as intense outbursts or all out shutdowns, difficulty calming down, they already struggle to self soothe, this just highlights and exacerbates it. They might struggle to express emotions appropriately, its often a big deal and takes a while to settle. Sensory overload is also a problem, if overwhelmed everything is amplified by ten. Stimming is a big indicator, and for most kids that sounds or repetitive movements and also a rigidity and difficulty with flexibility can be considered emotional dyregulation.

For the blissfully unacquainted, just imagine a rollercoaster designed by a schizophrenic rocket scientist who’s ingested every mind-altering substance known to humanity. Ups, downs, loop-de-loops and sudden screeching emotional halts that make no sense. That’s the bipolar/ADHD/fibromyalgia brain on a good day! But don’t worry, we’re sure the burning desire to both achieve world domination and take a 5-year nap will balance itself out…any minute now. Until next time gang, take care of yourself and each other. (Oh I forgot to say, when I was taking my trash out I saw a real life George. He says ‘hey’ lol)