Can I tell you guys something just between us? I hate my brain. Like so much sometimes. When its not sending out signals that make me move all awkward and weird, its trying to convince me all coincidences or times when I may not get the clearest signals that everyone hates me and they all want me to drop dead. theres no middle ground. Convincing my mind and heart that I’m not as sad and lonely as they often believe feels like a daily negotiation. I remind myself that emotions can be deceptive, twisting reality into a shadowy landscape that weaves through the tapestry of my dreams, where I feel isolated and overwhelmed. In those moments, when I recognize the feelings creeping in, I consciously shift my focus to the small joys around me—the warmth of sunlight streaming through the window, the comforting purr of my cat (our old man cat has the cutest purr, I swear if I need surgery just give me him and I’m out like a light.), or the laughter of friends, even if it’s just through a screen. I practice gratitude, acknowledging the connections I do have, however distant they may seem. By challenging the narratives of sadness and loneliness with evidence of love and support in my life, I slowly but surely create a more balanced perspective. It’s a journey of self-compassion, where I learn to embrace my feelings without letting them define me, reminding myself that even in solitude, I am never truly alone. In my research, I learned that of chronic pain patients, 30%-50% also have anxiety. I won’t pretend to understand the science of it but the studies link chronic pain and anxiety and some show some heightened activity in the central nervous system, you know, where it all goes down lol. Chronic pain also has been shown to lead to altered brain chemistry. Of course that has a negative impact our ability to get shit done when 75% of our brain is trying to calm the anxiety that comes and knock us on our ass leaving us unable to handle MORE shit… its the endless cycle I’ve discussed but I know if your reading this you are already quite familiar. Here are some, not all but some of the tricks I use to try and get a handle on all the negative self talk.
- Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Acknowledge that living with chronic illness is challenging, and it’s okay to have difficult days. When the spoons are in abundance sit down with a friend or loved one and talk about what you do when your anxiety gnaws at you, often times just verbalizing our worries helps us come up with solutions.
- Challenge negative self-talk: When you hear those “not good enough” thoughts, question their validity. Replace them with more balanced, realistic statements about your worth and abilities. Be honest, we all have strengths and weaknesses, always play to your strengths, and commit to working on the areas that arent so solid and strong.
- Seek support from understanding individuals: Surround yourself with people who validate your experiences. Consider joining support groups for those with chronic illnesses to connect with others who truly get it. My journey started in an online support group, and I don’t know if I’d have made it through everything that has tested me without that support.
- Engage in mindfulness techniques: Use meditation, deep breathing, or journaling to stay grounded in the present moment. This can help manage anxiety and negative thought patterns. I use journalling for meds and diet and all that fun stuff so I can spot pattern disruptors.
- Prioritize self-care activities: Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, even if they’re small. This could be reading, taking a bath, or listening to music – whatever helps you unwind and recharge
Remember, your worth isn’t determined by others’ opinions or your illness. Focus on what you can control and celebrate your resilience in facing daily challenges. Til next time gang, you’re not alone, reach out, take care of yourselves, and each other
WannaBeNormal 