…. survey says… FLARE!

Hey gang. I don’t have much to say today because today is a heavy pain day but I think tomorrow will be better. Well it will be because I said so and its my birthday and I intend to make it my bitch. Pain be damned I have shit to do! I even got whipped cream because I was going to make myself some birthday cupcakes, but I forgot to get the cupcakes. You know what’s really good? Apple cinnamon whipped cream, you make it with, DAMNIT GEORGE

Anyway, with my flare kicking my ass I haven’t been mustering up the energy to do anything other than put my head down and survive the last few days. I had plans to mow the yard but had to be alone this afternoon and we try and make sure he’s here if I’m outside. I might try for it tomorrow morning, which I know is dumb to do on my birthday but it gives me a deep sense of peace.
My leg/hip is the main source of problems. Its the side that took the brunt of the impact from the car accident, but its more front of my thigh. Its so weird, there’s got to be exposed nerves in there. As anyone with fibro will tell you, we’re limited in options of what even has a chance of working, but I’ve purposely limited my choices further. I’ve recently found that any ache or new pain I have brought to my doctors attention has gone very similar to this:
So, what brings you here today

Well I have a new ache, its (there’s a number but we’ll use my leg for this example), its usually at maybe a 2 or 3, like enough of an ache in the background to notice, but not to do anything about but recently it hasn’t gone below a 5 and will frequently jump up to a white hot eleven with no notice and its so severe I will fall down because of it, like just an absolute blinding pain, almost like somethings brushing against a nerve’

I swear she didn’t even look up, just nodded and put info into a chart.

Yes, I’m sorry, that’s part of fibro from what I understand, have you tried ice or this med or that or a combo…

Look ma’am I’ve had fibro for 16 years, I KNOW fibro pain, this is NEW.
Its fine. She’s probably right. I just feel like I’m not being heard and it adds to the pain and frustration until I’m walking around like a boiling tea kettle. But we’re managing. We got up. We ate something. We made a number of new products and we researched how to make 10 more.
Progress, any meaningful progress anyway, doesn’t happen over night, but it happens. I know this. I have seen it. I’ve done it. Just keep pushing forward my friends, its all we can do. Every once and a while reach your hand out, whether in need to or offer assistance, people care. You matter.
Tomorrow will be a good day. Til next time, stay kind to yourselves and each other.