SuperFibroman… fibroperson? Fibro super powers…

Let’s be real – living with fibromyalgia is basically like being bitten by a radioactive sloth. You get all these weird-ass “powers” that nobody asked for and just make everyday life more of a challenge. But since we fibro warriors are stuck with them, we might as well lean into the absurdity.

For starters, we’ve all developed a spidey-sense for detecting chairs from a mile away. Usually with our shins when we walk into them but also when we look for them upon entering a room. I always clock exits, then chairs. Our bodies are so desperate for relief that we could spot a La-Z-Boy in a Vegas casino from the parking lot. Now thats not an always thing, some days I’d rather stand because I need to walk or stretch, but I HAVE TO know where my options are.

Then there’s our superpower of confusing the absolute shit out of doctors. We walk into their offices presenting a cluster of bizarre symptoms that have them scratching their heads harder than a dog with fleas. “You’re a real medical mystery!” they proclaim, as if we should feel honored to be their personal enigma wrapped in brain fog and muscle knots. Thanks, I guess?

Of course, our most impressive feat is the ability to look totally normal while feeling like microwaved garbage on the inside. We’re masters of disguise, slapping on makeup and clean clothes to conceal the bone-deep exhaustion and full-body aches. Somehow we make it through work, social events, you name it – all while our bodies are practically screaming for a horizontal surface.

And let’s not forget our supercharged empathy and ability to sense others’ invisible suffering. One look at someone and we can decode the subtle signs of fatigue, pain, and the dreaded brain fog. We see you, fellow spoonies – our x-ray vision cuts through the smiles and pleasantries.

So sure, having fibromyalgia may not give us the coolest superpowers in the traditional sense. But if you think about it, we’re all low-key superheroes just powering through each day with these bizarre abilities nobody else wants. Who needs super strength when you have the power to baffle medical professionals? Til next time gang, take care of yourself and each other!