More Brain Battles

Folks tonight, in the ‘if I don’t laugh I’ll cry category, welcome to ‘My brain is a sieve and I can’t remember shit’. I know you guys get it, it happens to all of us as we get older, but man you add fibro fog, mania, and ADHD and you’ve got a special kind of mush don’t you? Welcome to the club, where we’re all annoying as hell, but no one’s more pissed off about it than we are!

Let’s start with the classic “I Know Things But Can’t Remember Them When I Need To” syndrome. You know, that delightful phenomenon where your brain is like a squirrel hoarding nuts, except instead of nuts it’s random facts, and instead of finding them when winter comes, they’re lost in the abyss of your mind. It’s like having a library where all the books are constantly rearranging themselves. Fun times! Or how about when you sit straight up in bed some random Thursday at 1:25 in the morning and suddenly someone let the tap that keeps the fun facts all neat and tidy loose and you remember your 4th grade best friend’s dog’s name. Not at all needed or wanted info, but you’ve got that shit at the ready should it ever prove useful.

Then there’s the “I Just Met You And I’ve Already Forgotten Your Name” dance. Oh, the joys of introducing yourself to someone, having a whole conversation, and then realizing you have no clue who the hell they are five minutes later. It’s like your brain has a “delete recent history” button that gets hit every time you meet someone new. Sorry, not sorry, Karen… or was it Susan? Is it awkward to ask the name of someone? How about mid convo? How about for the fourth time? How about when you are so focused on remembering their name that you don’t listen to anything they said because you were too busy committing the name to memory? See? Annoying, well aware, but any way you look at it its going to be awkward so you just gotta pick your awkward lol.

This segues perfectly into our next category “Words Go In But Understanding Takes A Vacation” experience. You know, when someone’s talking to you and you’re nodding along like one of those bobblehead dogs, but your brain is still buffering like a 90s internet connection. By the time you’ve processed what they’ve said, they’re three topics ahead and you’re left wondering if you accidentally time-traveled.

Now, I don’t know the fancy scientific terms for these delightful quirks of cognition. Maybe it’s some flavor of ADHD, a dash of anxiety, or just good old-fashioned “my brain likes to fuck with me” syndrome. Whatever it is, it’s about as welcome as a porcupine in a balloon factory.

The real kicker? We know we’re annoying people. We see the eye rolls, the sighs, the “I just told you this five minutes ago” looks. But trust me, no one is more annoyed than we are. It’s like being trapped in a sitcom where you’re both the bumbling character AND the frustrated audience.

So, to all my fellow memory-challenged, slow-processing, name-forgetting comrades out there, I salute you. We may be annoying as hell, but at least we’re consistent about it. And hey, if people get too fed up with us, chances are we’ll forget about it anyway!

Remember (ha!), you’re not alone in this cognitive clusterfuck. We’re all just doing our best to navigate a world that expects us to remember things, process information quickly, and not look like a deer in headlights during casual conversation. So cut yourself some slack, embrace the chaos, and maybe invest in some name tags.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go figure out who the hell I was talking to earlier and why I have a reminder on my phone that just says “purple elephant banana split.” Notes only work if they make sense people lol. Wish me luck! Til next time, take care of yourself, and each other!