Sunday Scaries, Spoonie Style: A Checklist for Surviving Monday Without Crying (Much)

If Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, why does it feel like a suspense thriller called “What Fresh Hell Will Monday Bring?”

 Quick bulleted list to get you ready for Monday:

•  Locate your bra.
  Or make peace with not wearing one. Honestly, if it doesn’t bring me joy, it’s not making the cut today.
  
•  Stare at your meds and pretend you’re not already tired of managing this circus.
  The greatest show on Earth is mostly side effects and co-pays.
  
•  Do exactly none of the things you swore you’d prep this weekend.
  I meant to meal prep, but I accidentally disassociated for 24 hours. Like a whole day just gone!
  
•  Question if you actually rested, or if you just laid still while panicking quietly.
  There’s a difference between rest and being emotionally paralyzed. I did the second one.
  
•  Mentally prepare to act like a human when your body screams “nope.”
  The performance is called “Functioning Adult” and I deserve an Oscar.
  
•  Tell yourself this week you will go to bed on time (you liar).
  Sure, keep spewing those filthy lies until one day it happens on accident lol
  
•  Wonder if it’s too late to run away and become a moss-covered tree sprite.
  Honestly? Forest Wi-Fi sounds more stable than my mental health.
  
•  Make a meal plan that may or may not involve cereal and vibes.
  Nutritional value: questionable. Emotional support: unmatched.
  
   

You made it to Sunday. That’s already a win. Monday can wait its damn turn. Til next time gang, we got this! Take care of yourselves, and each other!