Tag: family

Uncategorized

Things My Body Now Treats Like Emergencies That Absolutely Are Not

JoLeave a comment

There was a time when my body was reasonable. Predictable. Low-maintenance.

Now it responds to Tuesday like it’s defusing a bomb.

I didn’t get a memo about this transition, but apparently we’ve arrived.

Here are some aggressively normal activities my body now interprets as acts of violence:

1. Sleeping Wrong (Which Is Every Night)

I go to bed fine.

I wake up like I got jumped in an alley.

Neck locked at 45 degrees.

Shoulder screaming in a language I don’t speak.

Lower back staging a coup.

All from lying completely still for seven hours.

My pillow is apparently a weapon now.

2. Standing Up After Sitting

Used to be automatic.

Now there’s a loading screen.

Everything has to reconnect and remember its job.

Knees especially need a full system reboot.

Sometimes they cooperate.

Sometimes they threaten to retire on the spot.

3. Waiting Twenty Minutes Too Long to Eat

Hunger used to build gradually.

Now it’s:

Totally fine → Totally fine → Totally fine → DEFCON 1

Hands shaking.

Vision blurry.

Personality gone.

Like my blood sugar believes we’re in the final act of a survival movie.

4. Choosing the Wrong Sleep Position

There’s apparently one correct way to sleep.

I don’t know what it is.

My body won’t tell me.

But I’ll know I got it wrong because I’ll spend Thursday through Sunday moving like I’m made of plywood.

5. Standing Up At Normal Speed

Sometimes when I stand, the lights go out briefly.

Not long.

Just a quick blackout.

Like my brain needs a second to catch up to what my legs are doing.

Keeps me humble.

6. Eating Dinner After 7 PM

Doesn’t matter what it is.

Could be a salad.

Could be toast.

If it’s past some invisible deadline, my esophagus declares war.

Heartburn.

Regret.

Three hours of wondering why I didn’t just skip dinner entirely.

7. Being Tired

Used to mean I just needed sleep.

Now my entire operating system shuts down.

Memory: gone.

Patience: gone.

Ability to complete sentences: also gone.

I become a different, significantly worse person until I sleep for nine hours.

8. Lifting Something Moderately Heavy

Picked up a bag of dog food.

Twisted slightly while putting it down.

That was four days ago.

My back is still filing incident reports.

9. Moving the Wrong Amount

Too much movement: problem.

Not enough movement: also a problem.

There’s a Goldilocks zone somewhere between “completely sedentary” and “walked to the mailbox.”

No one knows where it is.

It changes daily.

10. Waking Up

Sometimes I wake up sore for no reason.

Didn’t work out.

Didn’t do anything physical.

Just existed through the night.

Apparently that’s enough now.

The Real Issue

It’s not that everything hurts.

It’s that everything has a price now.

Nothing’s free anymore.

Want to sleep? That’ll cost you your neck.

Want to sit? Your hips will remember.

Want to eat something after 8 PM? Say goodbye to your evening.

Every single action requires a risk assessment.

Is this worth three days of consequences?

Will I regret this small choice on Thursday?

My body used to come with a warranty.

Now it comes with terms and conditions that keep getting longer.

And I never agreed to any of it.
Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

Uncategorized

The Unhelpful Advice Hall of Fame

JoLeave a comment

(Inductees Chosen for Outstanding Contributions to Missing the Point)

There are two kinds of advice in the world:

  1. Useful.
  2. Enthusiastically useless.

Today, we honor the second category.

Welcome to the Unhelpful Advice Hall of Fame — a carefully curated collection of statements that have survived decades despite helping absolutely no one.

Please hold your applause. Or don’t. It won’t change anything.

🏆 Inductee #1: “Have you tried yoga?”

Yes.

I have also tried stretching, resting, hydration, optimism, and briefly considering becoming a houseplant.

Yoga is lovely. It is not a firmware update for my nervous system.

Next.

🏆 Inductee #2: “You just need to push through it.”

Ah yes. The classic strategy of overriding biology with vibes.

If “pushing through” worked long-term, no one would burn out. No one would flare. No one would collapse two days later wondering why their body sent them a strongly worded letter.

I don’t lack effort. I lack unlimited reserves.

🏆 Inductee #3: “Everyone gets tired.”

Correct.

And everyone gets hungry. That doesn’t make famine a personality flaw.

There is a difference between “I stayed up too late” tired and “my cells are filing a union complaint” tired.

We can respect nuance.

🏆 Inductee #4: “You’re too young to feel this way.”

I wasn’t aware age functioned as a warranty.

Bodies are not cars. There is no mileage-based fairness system. If there were, I’d like to speak to management.

🏆 Inductee #5: “You just need to think positive.”

I do think positive thoughts.

I also think realistic ones.

Positivity is not a structural support beam. It’s a throw pillow. Decorative. Occasionally helpful. Not load-bearing.

🏆 Inductee #6: “At least it’s not worse.”

This one wins for optimism with a side of existential dread.

You’re right. It could always be worse.

It could also be better.

We don’t have to race to the bottom to validate discomfort.

🏆 Inductee #7: “Maybe it’s stress.”

Maybe.

And maybe stress is also a biological event, not a moral weakness.

Also, if the solution to stress were “simply relax,” the spa industry would have ended human suffering by now.

🏆 Inductee #8: “Have you tried cutting out gluten/dairy/sugar/joy?”

I appreciate the commitment to dietary experimentation.

However, if eliminating bread were the cure for complex medical conditions, Italy would not exist.

🏆 Inductee #9: “But you look fine.”

Thank you. I moisturize.

Looking fine is not the same as being fine. Packaging can be deceiving. Ask any online order I’ve ever received.

🏆 Inductee #10: “You just need more discipline.”

If discipline cured chronic illness, high-achievers would be immortal.

Sometimes the issue isn’t willpower. It’s capacity. And capacity does not respond to shame-based motivational speeches.

Honorable Mention: Silence

Sometimes the most helpful response is:

“That sounds hard.”

No fix. No pivot. No silver lining.

Just acknowledgment.

It turns out being believed is far more effective than being optimized.

If you’ve ever nodded politely while mentally nominating someone for this Hall of Fame, you’re not ungrateful. You’re tired.

Advice is easy. Listening is harder.

And if nothing else, at least we can laugh — carefully, responsibly, with proper hydration — about the fact that some phrases will apparently outlive us all. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

Uncategorized

Small Joys That Keep Me (Barely) Functioning During the Holidays

JoLeave a comment
Look, every year someone says, “The holidays are magical!” and every year I look around like… For who?
Because for me, the season is a chaotic blend of twinkle lights, fatigue, sentimental panic, and 47 attempts at making the house smell like cinnamon instead of “I have cats.”

But I’ll give the holidays this much: for all the overwhelm, they also come with these tiny, perfect moments of joy that make me feel a little more alive, a little more grounded, and a little less like I’m being held together solely by caffeine and willpower.

So here are 10 small joys that genuinely keep me going this time of year — and yes, some of them sparkle.

1. The First Cup of Hot Coffee That Actually Stays Hot

A Christmas miracle. I guard it like it’s the last cookie at a family gathering and someone’s aggressive aunt is eyeing it.
When that steam hits my face, I swear my soul reboots and loads the “functional adult” software… well, the demo version.

2. Lights Everywhere

String lights make everything feel magical. Even the laundry basket. Even me at 2 a.m. wandering around like a caffeinated raccoon.
And honestly? The sparkle and soft colors genuinely lift my mood. Everything looks a little softer, a little gentler, like my house is wrapped in a sweet, glowy filter that kindly ignores the chaos.

3. A Candle That Smells Like “I Tried”

Anything labeled “Winter Forest,” “Holiday Hearth,” or “Doing My Best, Okay?” works.
One sniff and suddenly I’m imagining myself as a cozy cottage witch who has her life together… please do NOT break the spell by looking at the sink.

4. When One Gift Arrives Early and Makes You Feel ‘Ahead’

Do I use this false sense of competence to procrastinate everything else? Absolutely.
But for those few days, that single wrapped present on the counter is my trophy for “Attempted Adulthood.” I bask in it like a lizard under a heat lamp. The probably I encounter is I DO buy early…. but then either completely forget I did and rebuy the same item OR I find deals I can’t pass up because I don’t remember I have already done that dance lol.

5. That One Holiday Playlist That Lives Rent-Free in Your Brain

Mariah Carey has officially defrosted, and the world trembles.
Meanwhile, I’m badly harmonizing to “Last Christmas” like I’m auditioning for a musical no one invited me to. Still—serotonin is serotonin. George Michael melts my heart and always will. Wham for life lol.

6. A Cozy Blanket That Doubles as Emotional Armor

This blanket sees all. It absorbs tears, crumbs, and existential crises without judgment.
I wear it around like a cloak of comfort, a soft little shield against the overstimulation of December. Protection against any threat to my happiness and holiday warmth. I’m in my cocoon.

7. A Clean-ish Corner of the House

NOT the whole house — let’s stay realistic.
Just a single corner where I can take photos and pretend everything is under control. My personal “illusion of competence” corner. Everyone should have one. Family pics are problematic. Who cares if the blank wall make it looks like a hostage video, they are fine I promise LOL.

8. Snacks You Don’t Have to Share

Especially the good holiday snacks. These are mine, and I will defend them with dragon-level energy.
Peppermint bark? Hidden. Cinnamon rolls? Protected by divine right. Gingerbread cookies? You didn’t even see them.

9. A Hobby That Makes You Feel Like a Person

Whatever sparks joy — baking, knitting, reorganizing the spice cabinet alphabetically at 3 a.m., doomscrolling.
For me, having a little project or creative moment reminds me I’m an actual human being, not just a walking to-do list with feelings.

10. Cute Little Decorations That Make the Season Bright

Tiny things that glow or shimmer give me the same serotonin burst as finding money in an old coat pocket.
(And yes, this is where I casually mention I made some minimalist 3D printed ornaments that absolutely sparkle when the tree lights hit them — because even in chaos, a little shimmer helps.)

So yeah, the holidays are a lot. A lot a lot. But in between the exhaustion, the sensory overload, and the “why did I say yes to this?” moments, there are these small yet wildly comforting bits of magic that make the season feel survivable — sometimes even beautiful.

And if you’re someone who’s also living off tiny joys, caffeine, and chaos? Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.

(P.S. If you want to peek at the ornaments I mentioned, they’re right here — but no pressure. They just happen to look ridiculously pretty on a tree.)

Ornaments

https://www.etsy.com/listing/4410045095/minimalist-christmas-ornament

Uncategorized

Survival & Sanity Menu (Weeks 19 & 20)

JoLeave a comment

It’s been hot, it’s going to stay hot, and short of moving into your freezer with the ice cream, there’s not much we can do about it. What we can do is make sure dinner doesn’t turn the kitchen into a sauna you never asked for. This week’s menu is built to keep the oven off, the heat low, and your sanity intact — because sweating over a stove in August should be considered a human rights violation.

We’re talking meals that are light on effort, big on flavor, and won’t have you washing a sink full of dishes in what feels like the Sahara. Whether you’re a crockpot devotee, a “throw it all in a skillet and call it good” person, or someone who just wants to avoid boiling anything for more than three minutes, there’s something here to help make this endless summer suck a little less.

Week 19

Tuesday – Salsa Chicken (Crockpot)
Chicken breasts, jar of salsa, packet of taco seasoning—dump, cook, shred, serve. We love this over rice or wrapped in tortillas.


Thursday – Meatballs in Grape Jelly BBQ Sauce (Crockpot)
Yes, it sounds weird. Yes, it’s delicious. Serve over buttered noodles for maximum comfort.
Sunday – Pasta with Meat Sauce
Brown ground beef, add jarred marinara, simmer, and serve over pasta. Garlic bread optional but encouraged.

Week 20

Tuesday – Sausage & Potato Skillet
Toss smoked sausage slices, chopped potatoes, and your choice of veggies in olive oil and seasoning. Fry until golden.
Thursday – Crockpot BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwiches
Pork roast + BBQ sauce in the crockpot all day = sandwich heaven. Serve with chips or a quick salad.
Sunday – Breakfast for Dinner
Eggs, sausage, and toast—simple, quick, and always a crowd-pleaser.

Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

Shopping List
Recipes
Uncategorized

What I Wish People Knew About Parenting With a Body That Doesn’t Cooperate

JoLeave a comment

(AKA: This body is glitchy, but the kids still need lunch.)

Most days, I’m parenting from a horizontal position — on the couch, in the bed, or emotionally face-down in a bowl of cereal. And no, it’s not because I’m lazy. It’s because my body and brain don’t always play nice. Parenting with chronic illness (and some extra mental health sprinkles) isn’t just a different experience — it’s an entirely different reality.

But unless you’re in it, it’s hard to truly understand. So let’s talk about it.

First of all, let’s acknowledge the facts.

  • Parenting is exhausting for anyone, but for people with chronic illnesses like fibromyalgia, arthritis, lupus, or conditions like bipolar disorder and ADHD, it’s a next-level endurance test.
  • A 2019 study published in Health Psychology Open found that parents with chronic pain often experience higher levels of stress, fatigue, and feelings of guilt, especially when they can’t physically engage the way they want to.
  • Many of us deal with “invisible disabilities”, which means the world still expects us to perform like we’re running at 100%… when we’re often at 37% and glitching.

Here’s what chronic parenting really looks like:

  • I’ve prepped lunch while sitting on a stool, with my heating pad strapped to my back and a migraine drilling behind my eyes.
  • I’ve cheered from the car at events because walking across a field was out of the question that day.
  • I’ve been too tired to parent, but parented anyway because these tiny humans don’t come with a pause button.

My kids not only did school things, they did extra curricular things that I’d try and cheer them on for, and maybe the hardest part of that was to remember even in my discomfort my kids are forming memories and I really feel like the most important thing is showing up. The kids see your effort (or they will at some point) and I think its also a good lesson to teach them if its important, you find a way.

🧰 The skill set no one talks about

Sure, I can’t chase my kid around the park like some parents, but I’ve got other skills that are just as powerful:

  • Empathy: I notice when my kid is struggling, even when they don’t say it. That’s the emotional fluency that comes from living in survival mode.
  • Creative problem solving: If you’ve ever turned a laundry basket into a mobile toy bin so you don’t have to get up? You qualify. Incidentally get a grabber. I didnt have one until I had to be creative after my hip replacement, the grabber is a life saver for so simple it was honestly life changing lol.
  • Prioritizing rest over perfection: I’ve learned that being present matters more than doing it all. Show up even if it means napping.
  • Teaching independence: Out of necessity, my kids know how to microwave their snacks and fold their laundry. That’s not failure — it’s life skills.

    I’ve learned even in not being able to do things I’m teaching them to try, when faced with a choice of giving up or maybe altering something just enough to make it the right fit for you.

😞 The guilt is real. So is the resilience.

It hurts when I have to say no because my joints are angry or my brain is on fire. I hate the days when I feel like a spectator instead of a participant. And sometimes I worry about the memories my kids will hold — will they remember the things I couldn’t do?

But then they crawl into bed with me and asking ‘snuggle me in?’ and I realize they don’t see my limits the way I do. They see love, even on the hard days. Or the youngest one does, I don’t speak for the older two. There were days I didnt show up for them and I regret it. That being said, life only goes in one direction. You’ve got to keep walking with it adjusting as you go.

💬 What I want you to know

If you’re not parenting through chronic illness, here’s what helps:

  • Don’t offer unsolicited advice unless you’re also offering childcare or dinner.
  • Don’t assume we’re fine because we look okay for five minutes.
  • Ask how we’re really doing, and mean it.
  • Celebrate the small wins with us — like getting everyone dressed and vaguely fed before noon.

💛 And if you are one of us…

Parenting with a glitchy body, a misfiring brain, or both? You’re not alone. You’re not broken. And your kids don’t need perfect — they need you.

Even if today’s victory is frozen waffles and letting the screen time run wild while you rest? That counts.

You’re doing enough. More than enough.

Want to connect with more parents who get it?
👉 https://www.pinterest.com/wannabenormal/
or visit my etsy shop https://www.etsy.com/shop/JoknowsCreations
📌 Share this post to remind another spoonie mama she’s not alone.
Til next time gang. Take care of yourselves, and each other!!!

Uncategorized

Lessons from a Neurospicy Household

Jo1 Comment

(Or: Things I’ve Learned the Hard Way and Now Pass Off as Wisdom)

1️⃣ If you open the dishwasher to “just add one thing,” congratulations. You now live here.
Ownership transfers upon entry. If you can’t fill it, go check your room. I know you dont eat in there as a general rule but go look and see if the random missing spoon is hanging out with the stray socks in their hideout.

2️⃣ “We’ll deal with it later” is a valid strategy until further notice.
No one said when later is. Legally, you’re covered. Until 5 pm when all the things you were going to do catch up and your teenager is asking why something isnt done to their exacting standards.

3️⃣ Matching socks are a social construct.
As are bedtimes, sanity, and tidy junk drawers. For socks, maybe track some other missing stuff (like the spoon from before), I swear theres a Narnia or hiding dimension.

4️⃣ No one has ever truly recovered from stepping on a rogue Lego.
We carry these wounds in silence. And orthopedic inserts. My kitty in the sky Bonkers used to sleep on them, a full bucket without the lid, weirdo. Miss you little dude but thanks for sending me Fryday who amuses me endlessly, but I still miss you!

5️⃣ If you set something down ‘just for a second,’ it’s gone forever.
Gone to the shadow realm. Gone where keys and pens go to die. See narnia, also with socks and spoons. And the tupperware lids vs tupperware ratio is always uneven so I blame them too.

6️⃣ Your brain will retain the lyrics to a 1997 boy band hit but not why you walked into the room.
Priorities. We don’t make the rules. Its tearing up my heart that you don’t ‘remember the time’ you walked into a room and left with exactly what you walked in there for but honestly ‘bye bye bye’ to that dream because honestly we’re ‘never gonna get it no never gonna get it’

7️⃣ Snacks are sacred.
Do not touch another’s designated snack without first drafting a formal agreement and receiving notarized consent. I think it sucks so much worse when you crave a texture and have no food with that texture available. Like I hate it when I bring home fresh baked goods because I can only eat one every few days or I forget its there. I MIGHT get one. Vultures.

8️⃣ If the ADHD person in your house starts cleaning, DO NOT INTERRUPT.
You’re witnessing a natural phenomenon rarer than a solar eclipse. Often whats good is pulling up a rag and joining them, not that you need to do any of the cleaning, they’ll do it but they will do it alot faster if you join them.

9️⃣ We don’t do ‘normal’ here.
We tried. It was exhausting. Weird is cheaper and fits better. I have discussed this at length, I know the name is deceiving because I love being weird and don’t want any part of me normal lol. There was a time I did strive to an impossibly high level too. That me burned herself out a decade ago.

🔟 The motto remains: Lower the bar, keep the vibe.
Survival with style. That’s the goal. Often its just survival.

Closing Thought:

Some houses run on routine, others run on vibes and caffeine.
Guess which one we are. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

Uncategorized

Neurospicy Household Rules

JoLeave a comment

(Only mildly exaggerated, but it wouldnt matter because we’re spicy and no one tells US what to do!))

1. Snacks Count as a Coping Skill.

If it has carbs, it’s basically therapy. Cheese is classified as its own group lol.

2. “I Forgot” Is a Valid Reason.

So is “my brain glitched.” No need to lie about aliens (unless it’s funny). Maybe a George interrupted your thoughts IYKYK

3. Parallel Play Is Quality Time.

Existing near each other silently? Peak bonding. We congratulate each other when we imaginary win Wheel of Fortune.

4. Meltdowns Are Temporary; Love Is Not.

Cry it out, stim it out, leave the room dramatically — we’re still good. Some times we need to give each other a 15 minute buffer of alone time after disrupting or unsettling encounters.

5. Mutual Respect > Clean Counters.

Nobody ever died from crumbs, but words? They linger. I cannot emphasize this sarcastically because I really want you to think about what you say and as much as you can be, be intentional.

6. Matching Socks Are Optional. Headphones Are Not.

Protect your peace. Protect others from your playlists. Wear what you want some long as your covering the important parts lol.

7. No Important Conversations After 8pm.

Unless it’s about snacks, cat memes, or space facts. Write it down, type it out, I can promise you if you tell me something at night I have ZERO recall the next day.

8. Time Is Fake, But Deadlines Are Real.

We use timers, calendars, sticky notes, and sheer panic. As I’ve said in the past, try using time blocks rather than completed activities.

9. Sensory Needs Come First.

Dim the lights, turn down the noise, and yes, we will leave the store. I have no problem just getting up and going outside if the air starts to overwhelm and choke you.

10. We Are Allowed to Be Weird Here.

Repeat as needed: Normal is a setting on the dryer. Because normal is overrated, and honestly, it looks even more exhausting. Lol, til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

Uncategorized

A Grown-Up Juice Box and Other Things I Wish Existed Today

JoLeave a comment

Survival & Sanity Edition

Some days, I just need something to fix everything instantly.
A nap. A hug. A reset button. A very large grilled cheese that appears by yelling “Grilled cheese!”

Since none of that magically appeared (yet), here’s my list of things I wish existed today. Feel free to add yours in the comments, because I know I’m not the only one on the edge.

🌈 Today’s Top 10 Things That Should Exist But Don’t:

  1. A grown-up juice box with electrolytes, magnesium, and a splash of wine. Or beer. Or a shot of Jack lol it depends on the day.
  2. A “No One Is Allowed to Ask Me Anything Today” hat—everyone must obey it. Also on a related note, a personal bubble. Let those suckers keep their distance .
  3. A teleporting weighted blanket that hugs you and then disappears before you get too hot. Does anyone’s body temp go wonky with sleep deprivation or high anxiety? No just me? Sweet! It actually makes me have a physical ‘flush’
  4. An adult-sized baby swing that rocks you while playing lo-fi beats and whispering “you’re doing great.” Maybe music instead of the whispering, that actually sounds a little creepy lol but I’m down for the swings! Hubby even has hooks indoors to hang hammocks sometimes the swinging or rocking repetitive motion helps.
  5. A “pause the world” button. Just for an hour. Or a week. It was kind of like that when I was in the coma, don’t recommend that route.
  6. A clone who does your grocery shopping and argues with the insurance company for you. Use what you’ve got though, we do pick up whenever possible even if we plan on going inside, its easier to manage the list, keeps things a little more organized.
  7. A universal “I’m spiraling, treat me gently” badge that everyone understands. Or don’t understand, just respect others feelings, that shouldnt even have to be a wish, but its not exactly great out there.
  8. An emotional support burrito that is also a functioning therapist. Or tacos! Emotional support tacos with some frozen margs lol.
  9. A magic snack drawer that restocks with your comfort food daily (and knows your allergies). Cool ranch on lock!
  10. A panic shutoff switch. Like a car alarm button, but for your brain. A pause? Maybe just not a multi party pile up on the everything all at once highway lol
  11. A fidget suit. I would straight up rock that thing at every opportunity. Imagine: a soft, cozy hoodie with textured sleeves, loops to tug on, snap buttons, zipper pulls, maybe even little hidden squeeze pouches and stretchy straps to tug when you’re crawling out of your own skin, I can tell you how often the panic will come over me at night and the only thing that helps is hopping out of bed and MOVING. Oh and POCKETS.
  12. Weighted curtains for your brain, you pull them closed and suddenly outside voices get quiet, to-do lists stop screaming, and it’s like a sensory hug for your overstimulated self.
    Bonus: blocks gaslighting and unsolicited advice.
  13. A Spoon Dispenser lol you swipe a card or breathe into it, and if it senses you’ve been emotionally juggling chainsaws, it gives you five extra spoons for the day. So many days I’d give my last penny for a spoon lol
  14. Memory foam couch that holds you like a mom, it knows when you’re about to cry and reclines automatically. One arm dispenses hot tea, the other tucks a weighted blanket around you.
    Available in “Smells Like Cookies” and “Washes Your Hair Energy.”
    Limited edition comes with caffeine mist and validation.

Whether it’s imaginary inventions or real-deal coping tools, the truth is we’re all just trying to patch together peace in a loud, messy world. Some days we thrive. Some days we spiral in our soft pants and pray the coffee kicks in before the anxiety does. Either way, you’re not alone in this. You never were.

So take your meds, drink some water, and rest when you need to. Find something small to laugh about if you can. And remember: survival is still survival, even when it’s messy.

Take care of yourselves—and each other.

Uncategorized

Apparently, I’m the Mean Mom — For Enforcing the Deal She Made

JoLeave a comment

The Dishes, the Drama, and the Floor Dive That Saved the Day

‘woe is me’ – me probably being melodramatic

Let me set the scene:
I’m a chronic-illness, ADHD, bipolar, recently-hip-replaced mom trying to hold the household together with duct tape and sarcasm. My teen? Smart. Strong-willed. And currently convinced I’m the villain in her origin story.

And today? Today was The Dishes Incident™.

✋ Scene One: A Chore of Her Own Choosing

We don’t assign chores like a dictatorship around here. I made a list. She chose “dishes.” It was her idea.
Ten bucks a week. Seemed simple. No tricks, no traps. Just a job she picked herself.

Last night, after hours of computer time, I said: “It’s time.”


She said: “I’m tired.”


I said: “Fine. Tomorrow morning, before school.”


She said: “Okay.”

Agreement made. Terms accepted. Treaty signed.

⏰ Scene Two: The Deal Breaker

She woke up on her own at 5 AM — a miracle I did not question. Then she asked:

“Can I do them when I get home?”

Cue my calm-but-firm voice: “No. That’s not the deal.”
The deal. Her deal.

Enter: rage. Defiance. And the words that burn like fire even when you know they’re just teen flailing:

“I hate you! I want to go live with Grandma!”

Classic. Not the first time I have heard it and it wont be the last I’m sure but it guts me every time.

🐈 Scene Three: The Cat, the Crisis, and the Floor

Then I saw her on the living room camera… getting way too close to one of the cats. And a pit hit my stomach:
Was she looking for something to hurt because she was hurting?

the cat was like, ‘you broke the food lady’

I ran. Too fast. My hip screamed.
I told her: “If you need to hurt someone, hurt me. I’m the one you’re mad at.”

Then her dad got up.
And I — knowing better — told him what she said.

Cue: screaming. Yelling. Not listening. To me, nor each other.

So I did the only thing I could think of. I threw myself on the floor.
Literally. Like a one-woman protest movement.

It worked. Not proud of it. But it worked.
Because when words don’t reach them, drama sometimes does.

🫱 Scene Four: The Olive Branch (and the Laundry)

Later, I offered her a new deal.
The laundry. Every day. Not as punishment — as partnership.

Her dad won’t have to haul baskets up and down stairs.
I still can’t do them after surgery.
It’s a chance for her to contribute and feel capable again.

But just so we’re clear:
If she cooks it, she cleans it.
I may be flexible, but I’m not a doormat.

💬 What I’m Learning (Even When It Hurts)

Holding boundaries hurts sometimes.
Offering grace doesn’t always feel graceful.
Being the “mean mom” isn’t about being cruel — it’s about being consistent.

She sees me as mean today. We’ll see how she is when she gets home. We havent had a blow up like that in a while, sometimes she comes home apologetic, sometimes she doubles down.
Maybe one day she’ll see it for what it was: love that didn’t flinch, even when it limped.
Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other!

Uncategorized

10 Funny (and Some Serious) Ideas for Things to Do While Recovering from Hip Replacement Surgery

JoLeave a comment

Recovering from hip replacement surgery sounds daunting, so why not make the most of your downtime? I’m a week out and I’m SO bored. I’ll probably knock out at least five of these this week. If you guys have ideas let me know EDITED TO ADD: Mother in law sent me a message letting me know that when her hubby had a hip replacement he built models and thats how she ended up with a curio case full lol. I hadn’t thought of them until she reminded me of Grandpa Greg’s recovery but thats also something tangible so I’d absolutely work on that. Legos too after I thought about it.

1. Binge Watch TV Shows Until You Forget What Day It Is

HBO, Netflix, Hulu… I feel like this one goes without saying… summon the entertainment gods! Start a show so long you’ll still be watching it when you can finally walk without looking like a baby giraffe. I’m planning to re watch this season’s Law and Orders, and Greys, and all the Chicago shows. Then I’ll branch out to see if there are any finished shows, or finished seasons of shows that I have on my to watch list.

2. Perfect the Art of Asking for Everything

This is your time to shine as the supreme monarch of laziness. Channel your inner diva and ask others to fetch you water, snacks, blankets, and everything else. I’ve started calling my husband into the room to do little things once I lay down. I start by justifying it as he’s walking in the room he’s like ‘just tell me, I know you’d do it if you could’. But half the fun is making up the justifying stuff. Make an argument they can’t say no to

3. Assemble a Throne of Pillows

You’re going to be sitting a lot, so why not create the most luxurious pillow fort for your recovery? Bonus points if you make people call you the Pillow Queen. I don’t just want a pillow throne, I want a pillow empire that I may sit atop and be fanned and fed grapes LOL

4. Write a Memoir Called “Titanium and Tantrums”

Chronicle your hip replacement journey in all its glory—include your emotional highs, your many Netflix binges, and the awkward moment you dropped a crutch down the stairs. Kidding, steer clear of stairs for the duration of your recovery. I didnt do crutches, I did a combo of walker and cane but it sucks to drop your cane. I have a grabber that I also drop, so I play pick up sticks with my toes lol. My memoir would be boring, mostly about how I try doing things myself, fail, then wait for someone to *gulp* help.

5. Invent an Alter Ego for Your New Hip

Name your new hip something badass like “T-800” or “Iron Justice.” Refer to it exclusively in the third person. “Iron Justice doesn’t approve of stairs today.” LOL I havent named mine yet, but I did notice I didnt have any bionic powers yet. Super Speed???? Maybe but I wont find that out til its magically activated and I am summoned to my rightful place instead of seated here atop my pillow throne.

6. Train Your Pets to Assist You

Turn your dog into a furry nurse or your cat into a reluctant butler. Teach them to fetch your slippers, deliver snacks, or at least sit next to you and look cute. I’ve been working SO HARD at this one, so far I have gotten two of the four to sit in my vicinity and grace me with their presence, I’ll continue working at it, it will be slow going but I’ve got time.

7. Learn to Swear in Different Languages

You’ll need new words for when physical therapy makes you want to throw something. Imagine shouting “Merde!” or “Scheisse!” to spice up your frustrations. I should look into the swear words, I don’t think they have a section for it in Duolingo lol, but I’ve been doing Duolingo more. Make yourself fluent in a language of your choosing. Thats using your time constructively

8. Create a Playlist Called ‘My Hip Don’t Lie’

LOL You knew a playlist had to be on the list somewhere! Honestly my soundtrack has been senate hearings and stand up comedy, but now that I’m feeling good enough not to sit on my ass today it’s Shakira time. Include other bangers like “Can’t Stop This Feeling” and “Walk This Way.” Dance from the couch (or gently sway if you’re not quite there yet).

9. Become a Professional Napper

If naps were an Olympic sport, you’d be going for gold. Nap at odd hours. Nap mid-conversation. Nap just because you’re bored. Recovery requires rest, after all. I seriously love me a good nap. I havent been sleeping well because I have to elevate my hip and I’m uncomfortable on that side, so if I’m in my chair and the moment calls for it I can be sound asleep in under 3 minutes.

10. Plan Your Post-Recovery Dance Routine

Once your new hip is ready, you’ll obviously want to celebrate with a victory dance. Sketch it out now: a little cha-cha, a hip thrust (carefully), and a triumphant lean. I have actually thought about this a fair amount, I love to dance. I love to move, I hate sitting still so its driving me crazy, but I know I’ll be able to dance soon and feel much better while doing it, so thats what I’m holding on to.

Final Thoughts:

Recovery is hard, but humor makes it bearable. Whether you’re inventing alter egos for your hip or perfecting your dramatic limping skills, the key is to stay entertained and keep smiling (or rolling your eyes). You’ve got this—Iron Justice (or Titanium Tina ooohhh, I like that one) will be back on the dance floor in no time. Til next time gang, take care of yourselves, and each other.